Kim Jong Dead, not Il

North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il is dead at age 69 or 70, I’ve seen different ages. That is not something over which to gloat, like say Osama bin Laden’s being taken out by SEALS, although a lot of the world outside the late leader’s inner circle probably isn’t taking his death so very hard. I grew up during a time in which folks were expected to say something good of the dead or not say it. So I’ll say it. Kim Jong Il is dead. That’s good.

One can almost feel sorry for the man. He grew up in the shadow of his father, Kim Il-sung, another self-made larger than life despot. What the next Kim Jong, Kim Jong Un, will be like, one can only imagine. But something I know that will be consistent, at least for awhile, is the Korean Central News Agency, the official news agency of North Korea. It is known far and wide for its clarity, well, I don’t know exactly for what the state news is known. It nonetheless presents its news in a way that only those who write it must truly know.

For instance:

The cause of KJI’s “demise.” — “He suffered an advanced acute myocardial infarction, complicated with a serious heart shock, on train on December 17, Juche 100 (2011) for a great mental and physical strain caused by his uninterrupted field guidance tour for the building of a thriving nation.

 

“Every possible first-aid measure was taken immediately but he passed away at 08:30 on December 17.”

Field guidance must be North Korean Dictator Speak for getting away from the palace and having all the hot babes — DPRK-style — at your beckon and call. I speak of the accompanying photograph. No wonder he had a serious heart shock for a great mental and physical strain.

Funeral plans –-“A farewell-bidding ceremony will be solemnly held in Pyongyang on Dec. 28.

“A national memorial service for Kim  Jong Il will be held on Dec. 29.

“Mourning guns will be boomed in Pyongyang and in provincial seats timed to coincide with the national memorial service in Pyongyang and all the people will observe three minutes’ silence and all locomotives and vessels will blow sirens all at once.”

By God, they don’t just use regular guns to mourn the “Dear Leader,” they have “Mourning Guns.” And forget a moment of silence. You will observe three minutes’ silence or you will face consequences! Respect my authoriti! Dead or alive.

Important Notice to be Released — “Pyongyang, December 19 (KCNA) — An important notice will be released at this noon.”

That’s all it says. Obviously, nothing else that has been released by the news agency is important. But this will be, believe you me.

Will that be orange Juche? — “Kim Jong Il passed away to our sorrow before seeing the victory in the drive for building a thriving nation, his great desire, but we are under respected Kim Jong Un identical to him.

“Kim Jong Un’s leadership provides a sure guarantee for successfully carrying forward the revolutionary cause of Juche through generations, the cause which was started by the President and led by Kim Jong Il to victory.”

Rah rah rah! Sis BOOM Bah goes the dynamite!

“Juche,” according to a Wikipedia entry refers specifically to a political thesis of Kim Il-sung, the Juche Idea, that identifies the Korean masses as the masters of the country’s development. From the 1950s to the 1970s, Kim elaborated the Juche Idea into a set of principles that the government uses to justify its policy decisions. Among these are independence from great powers, a strong military posture, and reliance on Korean national resources. “Juche” has sometimes been translated in North Korean sources as “independent stand” or “spirit of self-reliance”, and has also been interpreted as “always putting Korean things first.” ”

The idea is based on the belief that “Man is the master of everything and decides everything,” according to Kim Il-sung. If that is so, then it seems he is leaving out the part that the “Man” is whomever in the dictator’s family happens to be in charge of the country at the time. That will apparently be, in North Korea’s case, the un-Jong Ill, Kim Jong Un.

We shall see if the saying: “Anything is better than Kim Jong Il is on the mark.”