Laying low at the Byron Nelson

It would be really cool to see ducks play golf. Posted by Hello

I doubt if anyone will care, but I am taking Friday off from blogging and from my grueling schedule of being unemployed. I will be heading to the EDS Byron Nelson golf tournament at Cottonwood Valley in Las Colinas. I don’t know much about golf. I am not particularly a fan. But an old college friend happens to live where the tournament is taking place, so why not go hang out?

I hope Tiger Woods is there. He’s so cool his Web site is in English, Japanese, Vulcan and Esperanto. Maybe I can get a job carrying his caddy’s stuff. Then maybe I could afford to have someone carry my stuff. And he or she could hire someone to carry their stuff. And on and on. Lighten the load, you know?

Hopefully, I won’t do anything stupid to get me on network TV. Actually, you don’t have to do anything stupid to look stupid on network TV. I know. I covered this press conference in Crawford during the last presidential election. There was some ridiculous political theater taking place there that day between Kerry supporter, former U.S. Sen. Max Cleland and Bush representative Jerry Patterson, the Texas land commissioner. The next morning, I turn on CNN just after waking up, and the very first image of the day is of me standing behind Jerry Patterson with my reporter’s notebook looking stupid.

So I plan to just mind my Peas and Cues, you know, play it low, blend into the crowd, make myself small, and above all else, stay away from the cameras.

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