Lead us to the truth great DoD!!!

You know what? The war situation in Iraq is not really as bad as it seems. It is just being distorted by the media. Those mean old, left-wing, liberal, communist, secular-humanist, godless, media whose members probably kick puppies.

It seems a day doesn’t go by that I don’t hear something to the effect of:

“The media is only showing what’s bad in Iraq. They don’t show all the good things we are doing there!”

If that’s the case, then here is the solution. All of you folks out there who think that the media is distorting the truth should ask your government to institute these strict rules for reporters covering the war in Iraq:

1) No mention will be made of any U.S., coalition or Iraqi civilian casualties.
2) No combat action will be photographed or videotaped unless it is something the high command wants shot such as the rescue of Jessica Lynch.
3) Each report must have an image of American troops making a kind gesture to an Iraqi child such as giving them candy or kicking a soccer ball with them.
4) No journalists will be allowed to write their own stories. The military will supply journalists with press releases that are not to be rewritten. It will be full of all sorts of swell jargon as “OIF” and “CENTCOM.”
5) Journalists already adhering to these rules, such as those from Fox News, may disregard this.

Why that should the tide of public opinion back in favor of the war in no time, right?

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