Leslie Cochran for Texas governor

More than a year ago, I said I was uncertain who I might support in the Texas governor’s race. I raised the possibility that I might support Leslie Cochran, the hairy, cross-dressing street person usually found somewhere along Congress Avenue in Austin.

Well, the election is drawing near and the battle lines are drawn. I can’t in good conscience support any of the four major candidates — Gov. “Goodhair” Perry, Democratic candidate Chris “Who the hell am I” Bell, Kinky “They Don’t Make Jews Like Jesus Anymore” Friedman or state comptroller Carole Keeton McClellan Rylander Strayhorn Farnsworth McDougal Hopkins Schmidt Garcia … whomever she is calling herself this week.

I would normally say any of the candidates would be fine as long as it’s not Perry. But that’s not true. I can’t get excited about Bell. I like Carole but she’s a bit goofy. I probably would have supported Kinky if he had just stuck to his one-liners and not espoused any opinions on the issues.

Now I know a lot of liberal people who are upset over the politically incorrect language Kinky has used during the campaign. I don’t condone what he said but I am also not at all surprised. I can’t see why anyone who has ever known the slightest bit about Kinky Friedman would find it surprising that he shoots his mouth off with less than polite comments. I could have told you that when I saw him in 1975 when Kinky and the Texas Jewboys were playing on Bob Dylan’s “Rolling Thunder” tour. I mean all you had to do was listen to the lyrics of his “Asshole From El Paso:”

“And I’m proud to be an asshole from El Paso
A place where sweet young virgins are deflowered.
You walk down the street knee-deep in tacos
And the wetbacks still get twenty cents an hour.”

So no, there is no big surprise there.

That’s why I am supporting Leslie Cochran for governor. To borrow Kinky’s phrase: “Why the Hell Not?” He is the candidate if you really want change and if you want someone who is not part of the state political establishment. You will have to write his name in to vote for him, of course. That’s “Leslie” with an “ie.”

Leslie would definitely help keep Texas weird.

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