Well, it looks as if I just missed the two naked ladies who were supposed to shower at the intersection of busy Main and Crockett streets in downtown Beaumont. It’s right there by our daily newspaper though so if their editors don’t wring their hands too much as to prevent pointing to a reporter and photographer to hit the street then perhaps I may read about it. No doubt the local TV stations will be there, the pervs.
Actually, it’s all one big PETA stunt. Per their new release:
“Beaumont, Texas — Naked behind a banner that reads, “1 lb. of Meat Equals 6 Months of Showers,” two PETA beauties will shower together in a busy Beaumont location to let consumers know that the best thing that they can do for the environment is to go vegetarian.
“U.N. scientists have determined that raising animals for food generates more greenhouse-gas emissions than all the cars, SUVs, trucks, and planes in the world combined. Researchers at the University of Chicago determined that switching to a vegan diet is more effective in countering climate change than switching from a standard car to a Toyota Prius.
“It’s impossible to ‘go green’ without going vegetarian,” says PETA beauty Colleen Higgins. “Just by changing their diets, concerned people can help protect the Earth, their own health, and countless animals.”
It makes me wonder if “PETA beauty” is Ms. Higgins’ actual business title.
“What do you do for a living?”
“Oh I’m a vegan PETA beauty.”
“Uh-huh.”
Well, it’s a free country up to a point. I am for green as much as the next non-right-wing-wing-nut. But I like meat, pork, lamb, venison, bison, fish, poultry and veggies and assorted other tasties. So if Ms. Higgins wants to shower in the middle of downtown Beaumont, Texas, I’ll support her right to do so. But she will take my hamburger when she pries it from my cold, dead, artery-hardened hands.