Our queens will go to the YMCA, the YMCA …

There is no escape. You will watch the wedding and all the hoopla surrounding the wedding  nuptials of the  future king and queen of England and you will like it!

Well, not exactly.

I could care less that the Duke Duke Duke Duke of Earl is getting married. Actually he isn’t the Duke of Earl. He’s the Prince of Whales, I mean Wales. He could be a duke after he is married to Catherine “Don’t Call Me Kate” Middleton on Friday, perhaps the Duke of Windsor or Duke of Avondale or Duke of Clarence. Yeah, Clarence. I s**t you not.

Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for William and Kate. Marriage can be a good thing, especially if you will someday be king. A king needs a queen, right? Well, not exactly.

The British are getting a holiday out of it. Who knows what else? Millions of dollars are being spent on security. What’re you going to do, huh? You got to protect your future king and queen. And current queen and prince consort. Why isn’t Phillip King? He couldn’t pass the physical. Just joking, I think it’s because a king can marry and his wife is queen in Britain but a queen’s husband can’t be king just because he married a queen. Make sense? It’s all that inbreeding. Really, bad grammar. Not the Queen’s, nor the King’s, English. Sorry. I only took two semesters of Spanish. Nevertheless, I’m sure someone will make some money out of the wedding.

What the fascination Americans have with British royalty I’m not sure. Perhaps we could spend millions of dollars for a family to dress up in quaint costumes and be ultra-socially correct. Sounds like The Village People to me. Well, at least the costume part of it.