Waters got to flow, muskrats got to giggle

Let 'er rip Tater Chip!
Let 'er rip Tater Chip!

No, that isn’t the rain that has been falling most of today here in northeastern Arkansas where I am on vacation, visiting a friend. It is, actually, the water rushing over the dam where a spring spawns the Spring River, near the Missouri border. Some 9.78 million gallons of water per hour flow here at what is now the Mammoth Spring  State Park and creates the scenic and trout-laden river. I also was able to view some of the Spring Lake’s own “Muskrat Love,” although we were unable to determine which was Muskrat Suzie and Muskrat Sam. We also really didn’t see any love. I just had to make some remark about the 1970s song — one which some call the worst song ever — that people either like or to which they have a violent reaction.

Many thanks to my friend Paul from Tokyo, who updated the football picks I prognosticated guessed last week while I am vacationing.

Noble, Nobel. Can't we just get along?

 Yep, like many others this morning, I too woke up and scratched my head, having to look twice, when I saw President Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize.

 Along with countless others, I too agree Obama has not accomplished enough to make him what one would think was a worthy recipient of the prize. I support Obama but I wish he would accomplish more.

 Obama has two major problems (three if you include the fact that he is black and his election has stirred up a lot of latent racism). One is that his election pissed off his opposition more than most expected. I thought the hard core conservatives went around the bend when Clinton was elected president. Little did I know. The conservative, one might even say ultra-conservative, wing of the Republican party has thrown a monkey wrench into their portion of the deal to govern the country. The party is being led by people acting more like bratty children who go around with their hands over their ears screaming: “I can’t hear you. I can’t hear you.”

 Secondly, Obama did not pick a very good inner circle from what it seems to me. Maybe Rahm Emmanuel should just deal with Congress and somebody — also a grownup — might possibly step in as chief of staff. Something needs to be done because an extremely likable, popular and intelligent individual is being squandered in his role as leader of the free world.

 Now as for the opposition crying out about the latest thing to stir them up, namely the Obama, er, sorry, the Nobel Peace Prize. The pundits have to find something to show themselves that they are wise so they listen to the rabble who are rousing their like-minded. Steele, the idiot GOP chairman, Jeez Louise! The Democratic National Committee also didn’t do themselves a lot of favors with their response. The false assumption that the opposition is anti-American worked because the right wing had people who listen to anything, no matter how stupid it is. The DNC should remember who they work for.

 I can see, from what the Nobel folks said, what logic they followed in awarding Obama the prize. It is somewhat logical. That’s the best I can say for their decision. What people need to keep in mind though is that — with the exception of certain contests of skill or sport — most awards are subjective and don’t mean jack when it comes right down to it.

 After working for nearly 20 years in the newspaper industry I won awards and I didn’t win awards I thought and others thought I should have. Mostly newspaper awards are for prestige of the owners, publishers or higher-ups. Many of the awards that bear my name today sit in the lobby or on the wall of newspapers where I once, but no longer, work. I may have received a certificate. Oh gee. Thanks. Couldn’t you have given me a T-shirt or a hat?

 Although I found it bizarre and puzzling that Obama won the peace prize, it is one of those subjective awards that he won, along with a million-something bucks. And most likely, Obama won’t even get to keep the money. But it is a prize and a prize like most other awards need to be kept in proper context.

 If people are going to have a cow, they shouldn’t go popping one out over this.

Wal-Mart's "Speedy Checkout": The ultimate oxymoron?

My checking out at Wal-Mart this afternoon must have set a new personal worst. I figure that it took me an average of 1.3 minutes to self-scan each of the 13 items I purchased.

The usual Wal-Mart self-scan problems reared their ugly head. I couldn’t get items to scan, no way, no how. I tried entering the bar code and it failed to register the item each time. The machine told me to take the item out of the bag and put it on the scanner. I called the self-scan assistance person about four times.

"I hate you, you @#&%*&#&%@!!"
"I hate you, you @#&%*&#&%@!!"

I see more problems with Wal-Mart self-scan machines than at any other retailer that uses them. I don’t know what causes the problems. It seems like — for one thing — the little glass cover over the scanner usually looks smudged and smeared, as if it needs cleaning. Whether that causes items not to register, I don’t know because I am not technically savvy about those machines or almost any other type of machinery.

But I do know I experience problems practically every time I use Wal-Mart’s self-scan. I also hear others complain. Go to “Google” and type in “Wal-Mart” “self-scan checkout” and see what kind of complaints you will see.

Why not go to a regular cashier and check out? Why it is for the exact reason I use self-scan machines in the first place. Usually there are long lines. If the cashier needs assistance with an item there is no telling how long it will take him or her to get it. If there is a computer problem of any kind with the register, it is like a Level I national emergency. And there are individual complaints that make me veer toward the U-Scan rather than the cashier.

Wal-Mart should, by now, realize their self-scan machines are for the most part, junk. The company should do something about it. Because one of these days, sure as shootin’, someone who already has had the Mother of all bad days is going to try to check out at the Wal-Mart self-scan and encounter major problems that make him (probably but could be her) berserk and he is going to take a hammer or shovel or some tool he was about to purchase and start walloping the machine until it turns into something unrecognizable. The shopper will, of course, be arrested and taken to jail.

Such incidents ultimately wind up on the news and one has to think Wal-Mart is going to end up the bad guy with such an incident. That can’t be good, unless Wal-Mart thinks any publicity is good publicity. Personally, I don’t think a company that has become as huge as it is did so by employing such a philosophy. I could be wrong, but I don’t think so.

Missing: Angles from story about man dying while awaiting ambulance

A media outlet — be it newspaper, radio, TV or Internet — may sometimes find it pays off to get scooped.

It was something I found distasteful when ink ran through my arteries, to have another news purveyor break a good story. It was also something I tried, at least on whatever beat I was working, not to let happen. But when you have a story that is a relative deep, dark question pit one may have to let the competition jones go for a bit until some mysteries can be solved. A story that is sure to raise some hackles in my neck of the woods is a fine example.

A  man in described by police as “mentally challenged” in Kirbyville, Texas, died of an apparent heart attack while waiting some 30 minutes for an ambulance to arrive, according to local news outlets. Kirbyville is about 40 miles north of where I live. The ambulance that finally arrived came from Silsbee, about 30 miles away, and belonged to a company that does not even regularly operate in that area.

Now someone waiting on an ambulance for 20-30 minutes is a long time in a city or most suburban areas. However, I am sure there are rural areas in certain parts of the country, even in particular portions of Texas which have to wait even longer. So even though the long “wait” is being focused upon by the local media — and I am not being critical here, rather I am thinking out loud — there are a lot of questions which need answering to make this a much more meaningful story:

1. The story states the Kirbyville chief of police and another person performed CPR on the man before the ambulance arrived. Does Kirbyville have a crew of trained and adequately equipped first responders? I think I know the answer but I’m not sure. I think there are a couple of  volunteer fire departments nearby but how many do first response on medical emergencies? If any do, where were they?

2. Jasper, a city of almost 7,500, is about 20 miles north of Kirbyville. They have at least one ambulance service, or at least they did. How many EMS vehicles are based in Jasper and were they all busy at the time? I don’t know. I wish someone would find out.

3. Was the company operating the ambulance that picked up the victim indeed not operating in its regular area? I’m not so sure about that since it reportedly was an Acadian EMS ambulance and this article says that Acadian was assuming operation of Priority One EMS in Silsbee. The latter company had an air ambulance last time I drove by their headquarters. The former owners of Priority One were recently convicted in federal court on charges of conspiracy to commit health care fraud and mail fraud, having bilked Medicare, Medicaid, Blue Cross and Blue Shield out of  almost $1.75 million, by the way.

4. The heart attack reportedly happened at that area’s mental health facility. Does that facility not have a defibrilator? Are they supposed to have one? I don’t know. I’m just saying …

From what I can gather with these sketchy details of the story, the Kirbyville chief of police sounds as if he did quite a job to help that man and deserves praise for his efforts. Perhaps his city might reward him by buying him a defibrillator for his car, at the very least.

Yes, there are a lot of questions remaining, even though tongues are, figuratively, wagging over the length of time it took for an ambulance to reach the victim. But there are plenty of answers still waiting to be discovered such as why weren’t first responders there within a decent time interval with the equipment and drugs that might have kept the man alive and stable? I will leave this up to the local media to answer these questions since I don’t have time, nor do I foresee anyone paying me to solve these puzzles.

Did someone call a prognosticator?

PICKING AND GRINNING
SE TEXAS HS
Newton vs. Woodville Newton
Port Neches-Groves vs. Livingston Port Neches-Groves
Silsbee vs. West Orange-Stark West Orange-Stark
Diboll vs. Jasper Jasper
Hamshire-Fannett vs. Orangefield Orangefield
Kirbyville vs. Shelbyville Kirbyville
COLLEGE GAMES
Oklahoma State vs. Texas A & M Texas A & M
Houston vs. Mississippi State Houston
Baylor vs. Oklahoma Oklahoma
Navy vs. Rice Navy
TCU vs. Air Force TCU
Texas vs. Colorado Texas
Auburn vs. LSU LSU
Stephen F. Austin vs. McNeese Stephen F. Austin
NFL MATCHUPS
Minnesota vs. St. Louis Minnesota
Dallas vs. Kansas City Dallas
Houston Texans vs. Arizona Houston
Indianapolis vs. Tennessee Indianapolis

Never have I thought myself to be a great sports fan. But as it goes with enjoying other aspects of life of which I claim no expertise — art, fine wine, etc. — I know what I like.

I am not the kind of person that camps out all weekend long before the tellyvision watching first college games all day Saturday then pro games on Sunday. If a game interests me or a team, such as the Houston Texans, I will watch a game if I have no other pressing matters.

That’s always the way it has been for me, pretty much. So quite surprised, and extremely lucky, was I some 12 or so years ago when I worked for a small daily newspaper as a reporter and found myself among the weekly faces prognosticating football games on the sports page. I was a regular football fortune teller during the season along with the two sports guys, a photographer, a copy editor, a local radio station owner and maybe a few other assorted folks. I say I supposed myself to be lucky because I had the best percentage among all the other regulars who picked the games.

Now I will admit to reading the sports pages quite a bit more than usual during those times, but it’s not like I was some football genius despite the fact that I knew who “The Big Tuna” was.

So I thought for old time’s sake I would pick a selected number of this week’s games and see what happens. I will admit to following some of these teams though not others. I won’t say which ones of either. If I just remember to report back the results this all might work. The possible complication in this is that I am scheduled to be out of town and out of state all next week. But I will do my best and report my findings with honesty, if at all. Therefore, I give you my picks.

PICKING AND GRINNING TIME

SE TEXAS HS

  • Newton (34) vs. Woodville (13)

Both these teams are named the Eagles so if you aren’t watching the game you can get confused but there should be no confusing which Eagles should win, that would be the Newton variety.

  • Port Neches-Groves (14) vs. Livingston (34)

I’m just guessing here but I think PN-G will win. They have the snazzier uniforms.

  • Silsbee (43) vs. West Orange-Stark (33)

Given the two teams’ records and who they have played, WO-S should beat the Tigers like a rented mule.

  • Diboll (0) vs. Jasper (14)

I see no reason why Jasper shouldn’t win handily over Diboll unless the H1N1 pandemic rears its ugly head or a nuclear strike hits East Texas on Friday night.

  • Hamshire-Fannett (9) vs. Orangefield (54)

Orangefield will win. I guarantee it. Of course, my guarantees in football mean about as much as David Letterman’s vows of  celibacy.

  • Kirbyville (38) vs. Shelbyville (0)

The Kirbyville Wildcats will beat Shelbyville like the  media beats a dead horse.

COLLEGE GAMES

  • Oklahoma State (36) vs. Texas A & M (31)

Texas A & M shouldn’t win this one, but let’s say they do.

  • Houston (31) vs. Mississippi State (24)

Houston saw national rankings come and go with their loss to UTEP, so that means that the Cougars will probably beat Miss State.

  • Baylor (7) vs. Oklahoma (33)

The only game I saw Baylor play when I lived in Waco was against Oklahoma. It was G0d awful unless you were a Sooners fan. I predict a similar Bear drubbing though  probably not in the 60-some-odd to 10-some-odd fashion as with the game I saw.

  • Navy (63) vs. Rice (14)

I have always admired Rice because it’s a brainiac school. But brains alone won’t get you a win, especially since the Owls haven’t seen a win since Hector was a pup. Say what? Say Navy wins this one.

  • TCU (20) vs. Air Force (17)

The Horned  Frogs of TCU have this one unless they don’t.

  • Texas (38) vs. Colorado (14)

Unless the Longhorns do something incredibly stupid as they are known to do on occasion, they should whip Colorado until they yelp like chihuahuas.

  • Florida (13) vs. LSU (3)

Three letters, L-S-U.

  • Stephen F. Austin (16) vs. McNeese (13)

I’m sure the experts would go for McNeese but I am no expert and I am a Lumberjack and I’m okay. So SFA Lumberjacks get my nod.

NFL MATCHUPS

  • Minnesota (38) vs. St. Louis (10)

Led by 143-year-old quarterback Brett Favre, the Minnesota Vikings defeated the Rams despite the path from the huddle to the Vikings’ sideline being littered with Geritol bottles.

  • Dallas (26) vs. Kansas City (10)

Unless some young starlet grabs Tony Romo’s attention, the Cowboys should beat  Kansas City with little trouble.

  • Houston Texans (21) vs. Arizona (28)

The Texans should mostly be recovered from the Swine Flu so they stand a good enough chance to beat Arizona that I will go with the Texans.

Indianapolis (21) vs. Tennessee (9)

Let’s see. Indanapolis good. Titans stink. The Colts win, I think.