Eight Feet Deep

Everyone and their dog seems to blame the recent hurricanes for any shortfailings (shortcomings & failings). Being the convenient excuse that it is I shall adopt my recent encounter in which I was Iked as the recent I haven’t learned everything there is to know about the current financial crisis and proposed big bailout.

Nevertheless, I have gathered enough information that I can offer the first comprehensive test on the present financial mess:

1. What is the “Big Bailout?”

a. The sequel to “The Big Easy.”
b. A mass skydive by a Weight Watchers group.
c. All of the above.
d. None of the above.

2. Complete this sentence regarding the cause of the current fiscal crisis: “Blame it …

a. On the Bossa Nova.
b. On Rio.
c. On global warming.
d. On erectile dysfunction.

3. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson raised some eyebrows when he proposed:

a. To Laura Bush
b. To Barbara Bush I
c. To George H.W. Bush
d. Placing Prof. Irwin Corey on the 50-cent coin.

4. Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke thinks the current economic crisis may lead to:

a. Galveston.
b. Stronger drugs.
c. Weight gain.
d. New Olympic swimming records.

5. Some Republican congressional members oppose the multi-billion dollar bailout because:

a. It would greatly hamper building bridges to nowhere.
b. It would touch off looting in DuPont Circle.
c. It would send Dick Cheney on a shooting spree.
d. They think it could cause flag burning.

6. A “recession” is defined as:

a. Two weeks in a sewer.
b. Three weeks in a freezer.
c. Four days in Vegas.
d. The 21st century.

7. What is behind the fiscal problems with AIG?

a. Too many initials.
b. The world already has an aig glut.
c. More financial problems.
d. Tainted pork.

8. The current financial crisis has touched off:

a. A decline in the Roman Empire.
b. An incline in a Roman umpire.
c. An octagon turned pentagon.
d. An upper-level low pressure center.

9. GOP presidential candidate Sen. John McCain said of the pending bailout:

a. “Try not to land in a lake filled with mean little bastards in it.”
b. “It’s time to eject!”
c. “Gov. Palin, get out the buckets!”
d. “Cindy, gotta beer?”

10. Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama has taken the position on the bailout:

a. Behind the double doors to the left.
b. It should be accomplished using Feng Shui.
c. “What me worry?”
d. “Didn’t happen on my watch.”

If you answered any of the above questions then you know exactly as much about the financial crisis as I do, which is absolutely zip. It’s time to bone up, bonehead!

I am back.

I took a little break although it was not on porpoise. It rather is that I had somewhat of an accessibility problem. Those nasty hurricanes will do that (meaning “Ike” and not the drink so famous on Bourbon Street, although the best I recollect, too many of those hurricanes will definitely give you an accessibility problem as well).

But yes, despite the fact that the DHL folks doubly got the delivery address wrong this morning I still managed to take possession of my new inspiron and it works like a charm. Likewise I am impressed with the speed of my new Verizon USB air card.

However, one thing this new laptop will not do is cook, so I must eat something. Chow. Yes I need to eat some chow.

Greetings again from Ike-land.

More and more establishments are opening. I have just finished lunch at McAlister’s Deli on Dowlen Road in Beaumont (Texas). During normal times (whenever that may be) the place serves an extensive menu but it is limited today, because of the Ike aftermath, to turkey or ham box lunches with chips and a cookie. Their big ol’ iced tea isn’t even available because they depend on local water and it is under a “Boil Water Notice” due to salt water intrusion from Ike’s storm surge. At a total of $7.79 for the box lunch and a small bottle of water, it’s hardly a great deal but I had to eat and find wifi somewhere.

One thing I noticed after Hurricane Rita and I see it raising its ugly head again is hurricanes give businesses an excuse to not do their jobs. I am not talking about this restaurant but rather the larger companies that are already inept which find even more latitude for incompetence after a natural disaster occurs.

Oh well, what say I can? It’s the weekend even though it has kind of been all week long. Happy motoring.

Which way you going Billy? Ike reroutes traffic at the Bank of America building on Calder Avenue in Beaumont, Texas.
Hideho! Or as they say in somewhere: IOhedih

I have been Iked since Friday evening. About mid-evening Friday, Ike started blowing in and the ‘lectricity went out and stayed out until early Tuesday night. I likewise have had a difficult time finding wi-fi about town. My new laptop is in the DHL place in Houston and hopefully they will deliver it to me tomorrow. I finally purchased another broadband card, this time from Verizon, so hopefully I will be back up and running even better.

Beaumont (Texas, where I live) was Iked pretty good. In some respects the damage (since I am writing this at home and will be sending from Starbucks, I hope to have a photo or two but if I don’t, sorry, I will later) didn’t appear as bad as from Rita in September 2005. But that is just in Beaumont and plenty of places and things did get hammered here.

Ike did demolish a lot of other places worse than Rita such as Orange and Bridge City, in neighboring Orange County. I imagine Sabine Pass and Cameron also took a pretty good pounding. And I have seen the destruction on TV of Bolivar Peninsula and Galveston. It’s sad because I have such fond memories of those places in my younger and wilder days. But they will be back albeit probably much different.

That’s it for now. Happy birthday to my favorite northern Pole, Sally in Pittsfield, Mass. We’ve been friends for more than 30 years and have lived many miles apart for all but a couple of those years. Thus, a little morality lesson: Friendship knows no geographical boundaries.

Some new sidewalk will be needed by the historic McFaddin-Ward Home in Beaumont’s Old Town Section.

It is 1153 and only 12 hours or so from welcoming Ike to Southeast Texas. Welcome! Make yourself right at home.

This morning has featured a light breeze and clouds from time-to-time here in Beaumont, Texas. Only 20 or so miles to our south Jefferson County area the storm surge has started rolling in and could get quite nasty.

Most likely this will be my final dispatch until sometime after landfall. The more I hear about Ike, the more anxious I become. But I am determined to ride it out safely.

So long and thanks for all the fish.