Eight Feet Deep

Reading my most recent presidential biography, a book about Andrew Jackson, I came across a reference to The Octagon House in Washington, D.C.

I stayed for two weeks in Washington in April, training for my part-time government job. On a Saturday I went sight-seeing and remembered passing by The Octagon House while walking from the Vietnam wall to the White House. I thought it was funny that it was so named because when I was a kid, anytime my parents mentioned the Pentagon I would ask them if there was the Octagon. You had to be there I suppose.

I think I read a marker telling about the house and I know I took some pictures but they are on my now crapped-out computer thus I will have to retrieve them later. The image above is courtesy of the U.S. Government.

The passage that I read in the Burke Davis “Old Hickory: A Life of Andrew Jackson” mentioned that President Jim and First Lady Dolly a.k.a. the Madisons, had lived in The Octagon House while the White House was renovated after the Brits torched it in the War of 1812.

Doing a little reading about the house today, I was astonished to find out that the origins of The Octagon House’s name was a mystery because it was “clearly not eight-sided,” according to the American Architectural Foundation, the organization that now owns the museum-home. Why that shocks me I don’t know. Perhaps it is that the house is called The Octagon and it really doesn’t have eight sides. Imagine how you’d feel if you found out the Pentagon didn’t actually have five sides? It doesn’t of course, but you probably would feel just a little … huh?

So that is where I am today — huh? The Jackson bio was great by the way. I don’t think I had ever known that Jackson was captured as a prisoner of war by the British at the age of 13. He bore a scar across his head that he got from being whacked with a sabre after he refused to shine a British officer’s boots. He also was very much the hot head and probably a functional illiterate if not just illiterate.

That reminds me of this kid I knew in high school. Bill was the boy’s name. A friend of mine remarked to Bill that he was an illiterate. Bill said: “Am not. I do so too got a momma and daddy.” Hell, that kid could have grown up to be president!

Today’s best news is the announcement by Veterans Affairs Secretary Jim Nicholson that he is resigning.

Organizations reflect their leadership and the VA has gone to crap in a hand basket — to mix my metaphors — under the direction of Jim Nicholson who was of course appointed by good ol’ Gee Dubya.

Tony Principi, who came before the Republican hack Nicholson as VA secretary, at least seemed to have his heart in the right place. But after Principi left the nation’s second largest cabinet department had the misfortune of being led by a double whammy of disaster — Nicholson and Bush.

Perhaps the greatest problem under the Bush administration and its Republican minions in Congress has been the constant under-funding of the VA. The organization does more than just have hospitals for veterans. It also has a separate benefits administration and a veterans cemetery administration. In short, the VA has a lot on its plate and needs a lot of moolah to run the operation.

Personally, the VA has probably caused me the most distress this year, even more than being homeless. It’s come to the point that I dread dealing with the VA because it seems like their mission is specifically to piss me off.

Here’s hoping the new VA head will do better. But knowing who is at the top, I can’t say that I have much hope. I will just savor the good news of Nicholson’s departure for the moment.

Sen. Jim Webb, D-Va., fends off a filibuster with his famed evil eye. Note: the video link doesn’t work. Sorry, I am not worthy of your readership. But what else is new?

Watching the Sunday morning TV talk shows isn’t normally a big past time of mine. But yesterday I did manage to catch a smack-down on “Meet the Press” as Virginia Democratic Sen. Jim Webb clearly got the goat of Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina during a debate on the Iraq War. I must clarify that by saying Webb got Graham’s goat shouldn’t be construed to mean that he stole or otherwise appropriated a goat that belonged to Graham because I don’t know if Graham actually owns any goats. For if Webb stole a goat, he might very well end up in jail and emerge as a now-forgotten country-western singer.

Graham, who became nationally prominent as a manager in the Clinton impeachment case, was taking the current Bush-ite stance on Iraq during the Sunday NBC program. Webb noted that some of the military personnel he had spoken to on Iraq said things were going to hell in handbasket. Graham then tried to bait Webb into an argument as to whether Webb had actually traveled to Iraq and the Virginia senator admitted that he hadn’t. Graham said that he had gone to Iraq as a reservist, adding “Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah.” Afterwards, the debate promptly turned into a hellish miasma of unintelligible sounds until Tim Russert promptly knocked both senators out of their seats with a fire hose.

Now it sounds as if Graham clearly had the high ground since the senator had traveled to Iraq as a member of the military, although some distinctions need to be pointed out here.

Graham may have been to Iraq as a reservist, as he serves in the Air Force Reserves. But its not exactly like he goes out on non-stop missions as a gunner on an up-armored Humvee since he is an Air Force lawyer.

Webb, on the other hand, may not have yet been to Iraq but his Marine son has. Perhaps one might recall Webb’s little exchange with Gee Dubya about that subject. Webb also has seen war up close and perconal (that’s like personal on Percodan). Before serving as Secretary of the Navy under that mighty Republican Messiah Ronald Reagan, Webb led a Marine infantry platoon in Vietnam where he was awarded the Navy Cross, Silver Star and Bronze Star.

To be perfectly fair, however, Graham did receive a commendation medal during the first Gulf War when he served as staff judge advocate at McEntire Air National Guard Base in South Carolina, according to his official Senate biography.

So when you hear a debate about war between a Marine who won the Navy’s second-highest medal for valor and an Air Force Reserve lawyer who got kudos for drawing up wills during the Gulf War from his dangerous post in South Carolina, who would you choose to believe? You choose the lawyer naturally because attorneys stand for truth, justice and the American way, right? Right. Now step with me into the back room as I want to show you some magic beans for sale.

Flying is a tough gig these days. Just ask Garren Penland. During a stopover in Houston while flying with his mother on an Express Jet plane, Garren, 19 months old, and his mother were kicked off the aircraft because the kid kept saying “Bye bye plane.” Apparently, the flight attendant who had the mother and toddler removed was irritated by the tot’s talking while safety instructions were being given.

A flight attendant union spokesman on today’s CNN’s “American Morning” laid the whole episode to the skinflint airline industry’s refusal to loosen up some bucks for safety training, as well as the industry taking away pensions and requiring the attendants to sit on the wing whenever their in-flight chores are completed.

Readers should be warned that at least two sides to every story happen with the frequency of Halley’s comet. By the way, I dreamed about Hale-Bopp last night. It was quite an amazing comet, the only one I ever viewed without a telescope. That being beside the point, more may have been involved in the story about the baby being tossed out of the plane with the bath water. For instance, perhaps the kid really said: “Bye bye Plane. Go boom!” or “Bye bye plane. Adios MoFo.” One never knows.

Some day the truth will probably come out about the Garren incident. Then I’m sure there will be a made-for-TV movie, Garren lunchboxes and T-shirts that say: “I got thrown off a plane and all I get is this lousy T-shirt.” Make mine an XL,in blue if possible.

Here is some late breaking news from my local newspaper: It’s going to be hot this weekend. Yes, heat indices here on the upper Texas coast could be in the 100s this weekend. Wow! It’s as if we were in July or something. Wait, it is July.

Excuse me if I seem critical. I certainly am not taking a swipe at the reporter. He is just taking his marching orders from an editor. And experience tells me that editors, just after they’ve been administered a lobotomy, are sent off to Redundant News Indoctrination School.

Now, I can consider myself somewhat of an expert on this topic. At least the part about newspaper reporters doing weather stories that aren’t exactly news. I must have written hundreds of weather stories when I was a newspaper reporter. Editors love weather stories. That is why weather stories saying it is hot appear in Texas during the hottest summer months. It isn’t like we don’t know it is supposed to be hot. Or that it might rain. After all, the average July temperature is in the upper 80s but 90s and even 100s are as common around these parts as mosquitoes. The average rainfalls is usually between 55-60 inches annually.

Perhaps the editors feel the public need to be reminded that it can be hotter than hades. I have only been in and out of my pickup four times today after it being parked in the sun. I have been reminded each time that it is hot. So thanks to the editors at the Beaumont Enterprise or whatever paper for reminding me once more that it’s hot and getting hotter.

So what is genuine weather news? It’s when man bites dog or nature bites man in the ass. A tornado touching down and causing damage is news. Hurricanes, like Rita which we experienced here in September 2005, was news when it approached, when it hit and long after it was gone. Some facets of its aftermath are still news. A white Christmas here is news. A drought-ending rain is news. But a story which says it’s hot or it’s raining in Beaumont, Texas, isn’t exactly news.

Editors say that people love weather stories and that is the reason I, Mr. Martinez in this local piece and countless other reporters have written so many weather stories. And I agree, up to a point, that the people like weather stories. The weather segment on local TV news is watched probably more than anything. I just don’t think such stories stating the obvious are particularly useful with the exception of filling the daily news hole.

Will anyone hear my railing on this issue? I mean anyone who counts? No. And even if they did the editors have been brainwashed in what is left of their brain when they take the job that weather stories must be written, come Hell or high water. Such is this deep dark secret of journalism.

Stay cool, ya’ll.