Limbaugh has to be feeling up


Rush Limbaugh
after Viagra

Rightist talk show host Rush Limbaugh will not be charged with possessing Viagra without a prescription. Prosecutors in West Palm Beach, Fla., said they had been “up and down” about filing charges that could have negated a plea deal made on charges Limbaugh had earlier been “doctor-shopping” to obtain the powerful opioid analgesic Oxycontin.

A spokesman for the motormouth host said Limbaugh felt prosecutors made the “erect decision.”

Legal analysts had predicted that if Limbaugh had been charged he would have faced a “stiff sentence” for his previous run-in with the law.

British pun expert B. Jeepers Pidworth said the Limbaugh affair had produced a renewed interest in puns, the figures of speech also known as paronomasia.

“It is rather hard,” said Pidworth, “for puns to find their way into stories of national and international interest these days. The Limbaugh Viagra arrest is a recent pinnacle in the modern practice of punning. The use of puns have certainly elevated during the recent hoopla surrounding this Limbaugh fellow.”

Today's headlines


Spaceman John Glenn lands upon the planet Meathook and asks butchers to take him to their leader.

Here is an analysis of what is making headlines today, July 3, 2006.

From Associated Press:
Crack found in foam on shuttle fuel tank
I don’t think I would want to fly on a space shuttle if people are smoking crack.

From The East African:
Mogadishu holds its breath
Then lets it out and holds its breath once more as residents of the Somali capitol tries for landing in the “Guinness Book of World Records” for mass breathing.

From the Austin American-Statesman:
Senators want to limit ruling on terror battle
Say what? What battle?

From National News Nine:
Asteroid may pose danger to Earth
Earth people should practice panicking in case the asteroid hits within the next hundred or so years.

From Australian IT:
Multimedia laptops slug it out
Dell XPS Notebook suffers bruised chip in street melee with MacBook and aging Compaq Armada.

And finally–

From Reuters India:

Double fiesta as both sides claim Mexico vote
win

U.S. sends Kathleen Harris to sort out Mexican presidential election. Mexican borders overrun by American lawyers.

The Music Man


With the Fourth of July upon us, my thoughts turn to what is likely the most unhip type of music one can think of these days — marches. And marches, to me, are synonymous with John Philip Sousa, the March King.

Here I must confess that I truly like marches. Unlike most other music genres, I have loved marches since I was a kid. What little marching I did in the Navy was truly livened when march music was played. It was definitely better than a cadence call: “Sound off one-two-three-four-just-kill-me-now.” Which somehow leads me back to Sousa.

John Philip Sousa was this nation’s first pop music superstar and he became such a figure before he ever recorded his marches. Incidentally, Sousa wasn’t too keen on the budding recording industry. He told Congress in 1906:

“These talking machines are going to ruin the artistic development of music in this country. When I was a boy…in front of every house in the summer evenings, you would find young people together singing the songs of the day or old songs. Today you hear these infernal machines going night and day. We will not have a vocal cord left. The vocal cord will be eliminated by a process of evolution, as was the tail of man when he came from the ape.”

I wonder how Congress took to his evolution reference?

Sousa did leave behind some recordings such as those that can be found on Internet Archive. These recordings of the Sousa Band, his band after he left as conductor of the U.S. Marine Corps Band, are scratchy. But I think that adds some flavor to the recordings.

Among those jewels to be found in these recordings are “The Washington Post,” march (Yes, the newspaper) as well as “Stars and Stripes Forever,”(the official national march.)Also in these interesting recordings is “The Liberty Bell March.” For those of you unfamiliar with the name of the piece, it is the music played during the credits of “Monty Python’s Flying Circus.” Spam, spam, spam, spam …

Sousa was a truly a renaissance man of the late Romantic era. He wrote operettas and novels, was a world-renown trap shooter and a horseman, according to a piece about him on Wikipedia.

That same article kind of paints him as somewhat of an oddball who was into the mystical aspects of Freemasonry. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. I’m not a big midi fan but some above average midi versions of Sousa marches can be found on a page that pays tribute to Masonic composers who along with Sousa include Mozart and Haydn.

John Philip Sousa gave America a wonderful gift with his marches. His story is definitely worth checking out.