Eight Feet Deep

So often I hear people decry celebrity worship in society. “It’s a bad thing,” many say. “It’s ruinous,” say others. “I’m going to have a shot of Hornitos,” say still others. Hmmm.

Having worked in the news media in my (current) past life, I know many reporters who would rather cover an accident involving dead poultry than having to work on something that perpetuates the celebrity frenzy. (I don’t remember ever having covered a fatal poultry accident unless you count a tornado that destroyed a chicken house in East Texas. The damndest thing that tornado, it missed two mobile homes and hit the chicken house. My boss said the fact that it missed hitting a mobile home was reason enough to send my story out on the Associated Press wire).

But the cold, hard truth is that someone out there can’t get enough news about celebrities. Each time Paris has sex, Britney has a pimple, Jen kisses someone, or a rap star gets shot, it’s a whole big thing.

I know that not every actor, singer, sports star, and so forth gets the coverage that the aforementioned do — unless they get arrested or in a fight. But still I wonder who among the stars of bygone days would have been the latest gossip had even half the communication outlets were available back then? For instance: Percy Kilbride and Marjorie Main (photo above), the stars of the old Ma & Pa Kettle movies. I just picked them at random but it’s actually kind of a good choice for pondering such a topic.

Main, according to a Wikipedia entry, had a near pathological fear of germs although it did not interfere with her career. An Academy Award nominee for her Ma Kettle role, (kind of an amazing factoid by itself) Main also lived openly as a lesbian with actress Spring Byington.

As for Kilbride, I have no idea what kind of dirt he might have brought to satisfy the hunger for celebrity gossip. He was a character actor who played country hicks such as Pa Kettle even though he was raised in San Francisco. Kilbride died after being struck by a car in 1964. No matter whether you are a popular or an obscure actor or performer, getting run over by a car usually gets you some some ink.

I also know an interest and worship in celebrity is nothing new. I just think it’s taken to the extreme today. So how about it, did you hear about Britney’s new pimple? Did Jen kiss anyone today? Did Paris have sex? Is there a new video of it? Come on now, people want to know.

Being charged by dogs has become a bit more common on my daily walks. This is yet another sign of life after Hurricane Rita.

Just today a total of some five dogs in three separate incidents made a barking run for me. One was outside to pee and probably would have made mincemeat of the skin surrounding my ankles. The other four — left homeless by the storm — were larger and thus were more of an immediate concern. Fortunately I was able to shoo all four off with threatening gestures.

I suppose some circumstances exist why people with pets did not provide shelter for their animals. I just can’t think of any reasons right now. Sharing space with a pet is a big responsibility, or should be approached that way at least. I suppose some erroneously thought they would evacuate and return right after the storm passed. But I think having a pet requires a little foresight to ensure that pet’s security — the same as with any other family member. And I guess some packed their foresight in the same box as flashlight batteries when they ran from the storm.

Perhaps this year is going to be remembered as “the year of the hurricane” in the U.S. Maybe a subtitle will be “the year of the stray.” And it’s unfortunate.

And wondering whatever happened to The Bangles?

(With apologies to Blackie Sherrod)

A Good Hair day and the chief justice.

First Tom DeLay gets the judge in his case removed because the judge donated to the Democratic Party. Today Ronnie Earle, the Democratic Travis County D.A., gets the judge that removed that judge removed because the second judge donated to the Republican Party. And who is the judge who will pick a judge to try poor Tom DeLay?

“Because of the appearance of yet another partisan conflict, Judge B.B. Schraub today punted DeLay’s recusal issue to Republican Chief Justice Wallace Jefferson, who shared a treasurer and fundraiser with DeLay’s Texans for a Republican Majority PAC (TRMPAC) during the disputed 2002 election cycle,” said Craig McDonald, director of Texans for Public Justice. “One of the two top donors to Chief Justice Wallace’s campaign in 2002 was the Republican National State Elections Committee, which allegedly laundered $190,000 for DeLay’s TRMPAC ­the very transaction at issue in DeLay’s trial.”

Stop this danged ride. It’s a-making me too dadblamed dizzy!

McDonald said DeLay’s “judicial-recusal circus went the limit today.” The former House Majority Leader needs to stop what McDonald calls a “farcical process” and allow the case to be heard by the next judge in rotation for Travis County criminal docket. Awww, now that would be no fun. And shouldn’t we have some fun? Justice prevailing in this case is certainly no slam dunk so why not enjoy the sideshow? Live a little. Wear funny hats.

Avian flu. A virus most fowl?
Writer Amy Ephron asks today in Huff Po if the media is checking the science behind the Great Pandemic Scare. It is something I would also like to know.

I am neither a doctor nor do I play one on TV, so forgive me for not knowing whether President Bush and the media need be scaring the bejesus out of the public right now about a bird flu pandemic. The World Health Organization’s FAQ page on avian flu is probably the best explainer I have seen so far of the flu’s seriousness and its ability to develop into a pandemic. But it does not seem to make a case that stealthy mallard ducks are just waiting quietly by the pond, ready to kill us at the drop of a bread crumb. I also can’t help but be a little skeptical over GW’s obsessive pandemic preparedness frenzy. Here are some reasons for my skepticism:

1. When the going gets tough, the tough changes the subject. If Frank Sinatra was still alive he might be singing for GW Bush and associates: “It was a very bad year.” Sheehan. Katrina. Plamegate. Brownie. Harriet. Iraq. Plamegate. Iraq. Plamegate. Take your pick. We all are sophisticated enough to know that politicians look for every chance they can to get the upper PR hand. And one way to do that is to set a new agenda.

2. Donald Rumsfeld has a great financial stake in the company that makes Tamiflu. Fortune magazine says Rumsfeld served as Gilead (Research)’s chairman from 1997 until he joined the Bush administration in 2001, and he still holds a Gilead stake valued at between $5 million and $25 million, according to federal financial disclosures filed by Rumsfeld.

3. It just so happens that more flu vaccine can be produced only if we stop those pesky trial lawyers and their lawsuits. A Bush tort reform jihad appears at an opportune moment.

So I would really like to know whether I should “go Howard,” (as in Howard Hughes)and keep myself as far away from humanity, chickens, ducks, geese, and other disease-carrying sources as is possible. Or are we getting a little bit of the business here? I’m sure the answer lies somewhere there in the spectrum. But it would be nice to know a little bit more about whether all the pandemic talk and spend hoopla is justified.