Eight Feet Deep

Sweet Jesus Pat Robertson, make up your mind. He earlier said his remarks about “taking out” Hugo Chavez were misinterpreted. Here is what his Web site now says:

“Is it right to call for assassination? No, and I apologize for that statement. I spoke in frustration that we should accommodate the man who thinks the U.S. is out to kill him.”

But he doesn’t seem all that damned contrite as he goes on in his statement in an attempt to justify his stupidity:

“There are many who disagree with my comments, and I respect their opinions. There are others who think that stopping a dictator is the appropriate course of action. In any event, the incredible publicity surrounding my remarks has focused our government’s attention on a growing problem which has been largely ignored.”

So I guess you want us to think you did us a favor there Rev, and I use the title loosely? Favors? We don’t need no stinkin’ favors.

Christian Coalition founder Pat Robertson now says he was “misinterpreted” when he said the U.S. should take out Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Robertson said he meant that we should take Chavez out to eat. And never bring him back. Poor Pat, he’s such a misunderstood televangelist!

You know what? The war situation in Iraq is not really as bad as it seems. It is just being distorted by the media. Those mean old, left-wing, liberal, communist, secular-humanist, godless, media whose members probably kick puppies.

It seems a day doesn’t go by that I don’t hear something to the effect of:

“The media is only showing what’s bad in Iraq. They don’t show all the good things we are doing there!”

If that’s the case, then here is the solution. All of you folks out there who think that the media is distorting the truth should ask your government to institute these strict rules for reporters covering the war in Iraq:

1) No mention will be made of any U.S., coalition or Iraqi civilian casualties.
2) No combat action will be photographed or videotaped unless it is something the high command wants shot such as the rescue of Jessica Lynch.
3) Each report must have an image of American troops making a kind gesture to an Iraqi child such as giving them candy or kicking a soccer ball with them.
4) No journalists will be allowed to write their own stories. The military will supply journalists with press releases that are not to be rewritten. It will be full of all sorts of swell jargon as “OIF” and “CENTCOM.”
5) Journalists already adhering to these rules, such as those from Fox News, may disregard this.

Why that should the tide of public opinion back in favor of the war in no time, right?

Wow. A TV preacher says the leader of one of our nation’s biggest oil suppliers should be whacked. That’s over the top even for Pat Robertson.

But old Pat “700 Club-Send-Me-Your-Cash” Robertson is calling for a hit on Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Although Robertson’s pal GW doesn’t like Hugo very much, the Department of Condeleezza is distancing itself from the nutcase evangelist.

“These comments are inappropriate,” said State Department spokesman Sean McCormack. “They do not represent the policy of the United States. And I would add that any accusations, or any idea that we are planning to take hostile action against Venezuela or the Venezuelan government, any ideas to that regard, are totally without fact and baseless.”

Just the same, I’d be watching for button men if I were Chavez.

I confess that it has been a long while sense I’ve seen the inside of a church. Well it was Easter of 2004 when I worked as a reporter and covered GW, his family and Condi attending services at Fort Hood. But I seem to remember something about God and love. I guess if you think you are God like Robertson seems to do, you can twist supposedly important religious and social tenets like “Thou shall not kill” anyway you want to.

Yes, I’m sure Hugo Chavez doesn’t have a lot of redeeming qualities as far as our government is concerned. But it is just enormously stupid for Pat Robertson, one of the original gang of Religious Right-wingers, to call for anyone’s killing. It reminds me of the Ayatollah Khomeini calling for a hit on Salman Rushdie. Except the Ayatollah wasn’t as telegenic as Pat. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!

Last fall our local daily newspaper, The Beaumont Enterprise, published a wonderful and award-winning feature about my small hometown. “Glory Days,” as it was called, chronicled a day in the life of Newton, Texas, on a Friday in which the local high school Eagles would play football.

What was so great about the feature is that it showed how a small community with so much working against it had its local football team to exhibit the town’s heart and soul. Now you might say, a football team isn’t much. Well bite your tongue because this is Texas! But it is really a thing of beauty when a community — only removed by 15 miles from but not the of heartbreak of Jasper, Texas — can come together on anything.

But for two or so hours a night, almost two centuries of racial strife disappear. Like I think someone said in the feature but am not sure, “There is no black and white, only purple and white,” talking of the small school’s colors.

But football only lasts a couple of months, usually a little longer for Newton, who most pick to win state this year. Something that is a more year-round example of the community’s soul sits like a prisoner behind a chain-link fence. That would be Newton County’s 102-year-old courthouse.

A fire in its bell tower in August 2000 gutted the wonderful old local seat of government. The courthouse will be rebuilt, as this blurb from the Texas Historical Commission states:

“Built by Martin & Moodie, this 1903 Second Empire courthouse represents a style popular in the 19th century. Built of unfired local brick, the courthouse was the victim of a devastating fire in August 2000, which left only exterior and first floor masonry walls intact. Restoration will include the reconstruction of the unusual truncated tower and the bracketed balustrade balconies at each entry. The decorative metal ceilings and double wood staircase will also be replicated. The reconstruction will include the historic courtroom configuration with balcony and full accessibility. Additionally, a geo-thermal system will be employed instead of a standard heating and cooling system, taking advantage of the area’s high water table and moisture level. Work should be completed by summer 2005.”

But alas, it is summer 2005 and the work has yet to begin. The reason includes blown deadlines and problems with engineers, according to the Beaumont Enterprise. The latest word is that rebuilding could start as early as the end of this year. I sure hope so.

So why care about an old courthouse in a little town most everyone outside of the town has never heard of? Memories. The courthouse was the focal point of my childhood. It was the center of town, plus my mother worked there for a number of years. I experienced some interesting sights there. Included was this convicted murderer who would yell about Jesus at the top of his lungs all day long. Or a marijuana plant that the local sheriff’s department had confiscated in a raid and sat out in front of the courthouse, I guess, to grow into evidence. The plant was nothing but a twig after awhile, what with people walking by and snatching them off a leaf. Elections, now so fractious and bitter in this country, used to be a celebration on the courthouse square where people would gather to watch the returns put up on a gazebo blackboard.

While a stupid high school kid some friends and I decided to bombard the jail, which was at the front of the courthouse, one night about midnight with bottle rockets. The prisoners were none too happy as we could tell by their shouts. I’m sure we would not have been welcomed beside them in the slammer. The town’s policeman, a very portly man who used to pin his badge upon his dirty T-shirt, came running out and jumped into his car to pursue us. We all split up in opposite directions and we were not apprehended, thankfully.

That is a memory only for a short period of years. Just think of the memories of thousands of people over more than a century. Yep, it’s time to get that courthouse rebuilt.