Eight Feet Deep

Let’s swim out of here guys, the media is up there

You sometimes hear someone say: “The news is always negative. Why isn’t there more positive news?” Ha. Ha. Ha. Funny one. That person isn’t dealing with reality and needs to be attacked by a shark. Not really but it is kind of naive wishful thinking. You see, the news gives the public what they want. If the public wants wrecks and fires and shark attacks, the media is only happy to give those stories to them.

When sharks attack it is news. You have conflict between man (or woman or child) against shark. Sometimes man wins. And sometimes not. Why have a story about someone turning 102 years old when you can have bloody conflict? Well, when the sharks go, then is the time to find someone turning 102. But you have to work those stories pretty fast, if you get my drift. Or, if you have someone who just happened to turn 102 at the beach and she beat off a shark attack with her cane, that would work even better.

It thus was not surprising that when a school of sharks were spotted near Sea Rim State Park in our county over the weekend that the story was prominent both on television and in the daily newspaper. KFDM-TV is reporting on its Web site that another school was spotted this morning near Sea Rim. It is July 4th weekend and you figure a lot of people are going to the beach, so while you may not yet have a big story you have a big story waiting to happen.

Certainly I don’t advocate sharks attacking humans. I don’t think that even reporters are that twisted. Okay, I stand corrected. Some are that twisted. But the majority of sane people don’t want anyone to get et by a shark. Hopefully we will make it through this summer without a shark attack in Jefferson County. But if it does happen be prepared to read and hear a lot about it. ‘Cause it’s news.

Disclaimer: I am not working as a reporter for anyone right now. I am, however, receiving a hefty amount of grouper from the sharks lurking off our coast in return for my kind words about their benevolent activity.

The tropics are so depressing. Not really, but a tropical depression has caught my attention. Tropical Depression 3 as it is called could become Tropical Storm Cindy or maybe even Hurricane Cindy. It is over the Yucatan Peninsula right now. Forecasts for hurricanes can be tricky, particularly at this stage. But if it follows the path that forecasters expect the storm could within a couple of days barrel northward through the Gulf of Mexico, head up Sabine Lake into the Neches River and take a direct pathway westward down my street, walk up the stairs and knock on my door. In such a case I probably won’t be at home. But I might.

But for real, the path it might take could hit around here somewhere on either the upper Texas or western Louisiana coasts. So I am keeping an eye out. Well, I’m not really keeping an eye out. That might be gross. I am being somewhat vigilant though.

Ground Control to Major Tom: Get out before you hit that comet!

If all goes well a “Deep Impact” will take place on the Comet Tempel 1 at 12:52 a.m. CDT. Here is how NASA puts it:

“Deep Impact will probe beneath the surface of Comet Tempel 1 on July 4, 2005, when the comet is 83 million miles from Earth. After releasing a 3-by-3-foot projectile called an “impactor” to crash onto the surface, Deep Impact’s flyby spacecraft will collect pictures and data of the resulting crater. Scientists suspect that frozen within comets are the same chemical building blocks that lead to the formation of water — and life — here on Earth.”

Frankly, I’m glad this all taking place 83 million miles away because I don’t think we are yet old hands at crashing into comets. That is unless you are talking about the Mercury car called the Comet. Deep Impact is supposed to be making a hole about the size of a football stadium. But with even with a washing machine-sized projectile it is going to be quite a bang.

I don’t know if life exists on other bodies out there in the universe. I tend to think so more than not. Just in case there are life forms out there and they can read this, I would just like to say: “Greetings from Earth. This can happen to your planet too!”

No. Seriously, we earthlings have an insatiable curiosity. And while curiosity killed the cat,(you know, furry things that go ‘meow?’)I would ask in the spirit of inter-universal harmony that you outer space dudes and dudettes not try something like Deep Impact at home. Or, more importantly, I would ask that you not try something like Deep Impact here on Earth. It might ruin someone’s day. And you wouldn’t want to do that, would you?

You do some pretty strange things when you’re in this nation’s military. I think about the “vert rep,” or vertical replenishment that I was told to participate in when I served on the destroyer U.S.S. Agerholm back in the late 1970s.

The powers that be had pretty arbitrary rules about rank when it came to doing certain jobs or having certain privileges on that ship. I joined the ship as a petty officer third class, or just barely a non-commissioned officer. I made E-5, or second class, on the way back from overseas. So we get the word one day in the Pacific that all E-4 and below were needed on deck for a vert rep. That is where a helicopter flies over your ship and lowers supplies onto the ship. The sailors unloaded said supplies and formed a human chain to get the supplies to its storage space. This one was the first of two vert reps in which I was involved. The second one was with a helo delivering ammunition for the 5-inch cannons onboard. Well, you think a warship needs that so even though the shells were about 50 pounds each I could understand the need. But the first vert rep was different.

I don’t recall the vicinity we were in that day but I do know the seas were on the rough side. So much so that for the vert rep we were sent out wearing life jackets. It had to be really important to send a night out on a dog like this, right? Yeah. Turned out we unloaded case upon case of Dr. Pepper. I never did go to the Dr. Pepper Museum the entire seven years I spent in Waco. I wonder if the vert rep was the reason? I risked my life for “pepper upper” for my shipmates.

The military is weird that way. So for all those guys and gals risking their lives, whether it be on patrol in Iraq or Afghanistan or unloading soft drinks in rolling seas, I say: “Thanks.” That’s my little patriotic July 4th message to the troops who are just doing the job they took an oath to do. I took my oath with a picture of “Tricky Dick” Nixon staring down at me. Nixon was commander-in-chief when I entered boot camp and Jerry Ford was president when I graduated from recruit training. So, no political message. Just a heartfelt thanks to the men and women of the armed forces who do our heavy lifting.

KBTV-TV radar picture at 7:09 p.m. CDT

I heard the unmistakable rumble of thunder a couple of minutes ago. It’s funny because when I watched the local weather 45 minutes ago it didn’t seem as any heavy weather was headed our way. Such is the nature of the thunderstorms that can normally pop up just about anytime around these parts during the summer.

Having access to near real-time radar on your desktop is just too cool. After seeing Cowboy John do the local weather on Channel 4 when I was growing up, I wanted to be a weatherman. But as Bob Dylan says: “You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.” So I did other things with my life.

Weather is just an awesome part of nature to me though. After seven years of the big intense thunderstorms I experienced while living in Central Texas, I became less edgy about turbulent weather. I now have a better appreciation for what my friend, Barbara, told me one time as a severe storm that had spawned tornadoes approached. She said storms were neat because they were one thing that man had no control over. God knows man will try his best to control them. With that said, I am not totally stupid so I will move away from the window as the storm seems to be getting closer. And I think I’ll shut off the computer for a little while.