PLEASED TO HELP ME


Av. Julius
Nyerere
Maputo
3236
Mzbqe.
My good sir: Perhaps I shall introduce myself for I am John Doe, one of 16 sons of former Liberia President Samuel K. Doe. In the photograph that accompanies this message, one may view me as third from the left rear. I fled with brothers when trouble came down and we eventually gathered in Tunisa. Later I most regrettably robbed the national treasury of Tunisia and had to run first to Rwanda and later to Mozambique, where I stay in this hotel in Maputo. My days of running are over as the police have placed me under house arrest. I truly wish I could see my brother Ernie K. Doe, now a upstanding resident of Botswana. For I fear I shall never see the light of freedom again and Ernie K. Doe has not long to live. I feel I must explain why.

Ernie K. Doe settled in Botswana with his wife, Tiffany and her mother. Ernie K. Doe had problems almost from the beginning with his mother-in-law. Sin should be her name. He even made a record about it, or so I have heard. Tiffany and her mother stole all the household items from my brother, Ernie’s home, then left for South Africa. Tiffany’s mother came back however and set my brother’s home on fire, with my brother Ernie K. Doe escaping within three inches of his life.

Years later, Ernie K. Doe contracted a terminal disease which was made worse by the heartbreak caused from the death of his favorite donkey, Jean Claude. Ernie K. Doe is now shunned by his community. I failed to mention he is also confined to a wheelchair and as well is blind.

I managed to smuggle some $4.5 million in US dollars out of Monrovia when we fled. I was the trusted keeper of this fortune for my family. However, I have been cursed with an unfortunate disease of which I bet my money on practically anything. I lost my final $1 million, betting that I could drive my Range Rover over a wide river in eastern Africa. I am unhappy to report that the Range Rover sank like a rock and I was very wet. I was also very broke. That led my my robbing the Tunisian treasury and my current unfortunate circumstance. But I do have $3.8 million in US currency hidden away in an account named to D.H. Lawrence in the Traveler’s Bank of Barbados.

I will never see the money and neither will my favorite brother Ernie K. Doe and his dead donkey. But I wish for my remaining 14 brothers to divide the handsome sum of $1 million and for your assistance in ensuring my brothers receive the money will award you the remaining $2.8 million in US currency. To do this you must receive the documents that list the particulars of my bank account along with the addresses of the remaining Doe brothers.

Should you elect to kindly help this poor and humble prisoner, you would require a meeting with a man named “Abraham” who dresses like a tribal princess. Abraham will then take you to see “Farouk,” who lives behind a Wal-Mart in Kearney, Nebraska, in the USA. From there you will drive in six automobiles to a cabin in Long Island, also in the USA, where you will receive the particulars of my account.

The hopes of the Doe legacy and family are riding on your valiant efforts. Please take my money for your troubles and return my message as soon as it is possible for you to do so.

Courage,
John Doe

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