Silly String bomb detection system and other news

President Bush names
Potato Head as
Middle East envoy

Here are some of the stories making headlines today:

Silly IED finders

Silly String is being by U.S. troops in Iraq to detect trip wires on booby traps, according to the The New York Times.

“Before entering a building, troops squirt the plastic goo, which can shoot strands about 10 to 12 feet, across the room. If it falls to the ground, no trip wires. If it hangs in the air, they know they have a problem. The wires are otherwise nearly invisible.”

Pentagon officials said Silly String can also be used for a restraining device in the manner that flexible handcuffs are used. However, the captor has to remind the captive not to move his or her hands while cuffed or else, well, they will become an escapee.

Other side benefits for soldiers using Silly String, according to the product’s description:

“–Bring in the Silly String spray streamer and bring out the fun for parties, games and celebrations of all kinds
–To max your enjoyment, arm yourself with lots of Silly String spray streamer and always follow the directions”

Troops are reminded to arm themselves with automatic weapons and hand grenades as well when deploying the Silly String detection system.

Funky-looking tuber to be named envoy

Sources inside the White House have indicated that President Bush will follow through on one of the Iraq Study Group’s recommendations which is to begin talks with Iran and Syria. Long-time dapper diplomat Mr. Potato Head is said to be named as an envoy who will talk with the leaders of those countries about the future in Iraq.

Those sources also indicated that a major blunder was averted when the name of Mr. Bush’s first choice for envoy, Miss Piggy, was withdrawn for consideration by White House staffers.

Perry says don’t fence me in

Texas Gov. Rick Perry has apparently softened his approach to border security. The governor, known by most Texans as Gov. Goodhair, said this week that building a fence along the Mexican-U.S. is a preposterous idea.

“How am I supposed to go to Mexico when a fence has been raised?” asked Perry, a one time cheerleader at Texas A & M University.

During his campaign for re-election, Perry emphasized his leadership on strengthening border security. He ordered surveillance cameras be placed along the border to detect illegal crossings. A recent report on the system’s test run indicates that no illegal immigrants were seen on the cameras. However, an influx of jackrabbits crossing the Rio Grande into Texas were spotted. This led to the jumpy creatures’ capture by agents of the Texas Department of Agriculture. The Ag agents transported the jackrabbits across the bridge from Texas into Nuevo Laredo where they were released. Mexican media indicated that the mass released triggered hysteria among shop owners and tourists.

“I thought I had drunk too much tequila,” said Sam Benderson, a tourist from Salinas, Kan., who was visiting a local cantina. “All of a sudden, these big rabbits came out of nowhere, running under tables and jumping up on people’s legs. It was scary I tell you.”

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