Siri, I think I love you! No, but here is a Web page on love

Writer’s steal. That is the sad truth, but it is the truth. If that was not the case you wouldn’t hear all those bad leads — ledes to the newspaper geeks.

The Houston Chronicle had a story yesterday that waxed eloquently on how Apple’s Virtual librarian can get a bit snarky. Ask a stupid, get a stupid answer.

Yesterday, I asked her, it, — damn it, it’s not a “she” it’s a person, it’s  a recording, it’s two, smack, two, smack — something or the other. I know that talking, rather, carrying on conversations with your virtual assistant sort of shows how bad my personal life has become. What the hay. Getting on with my story, as I am in years, I told Siri “Never mind.” She retorted: “Yes it does.”

Apple’s Siri is quite the phenomenon. Stories abound here and there about ridiculous or funny things to say to Siri. So here are a few I have decided to ask Siri while I am waiting for dinner.

1. On Cosby: “It’s nice of you to ask but it really doesn’t matter what I think.”

2. On singing like the Bangles: “You wouldn’t like it.”

3. Does she eat meat? “I wouldn’t speak that way to you.”

4. Does she like short questions: “I really have no opinion.”

5. How far it is from where we are sitting to Pluto. “Here is information on Pluto.”

“Siri not available.” A sign on my computer screen informs me.

WTF? Did she have to take a break. Were my questions of those of others giving her a breakdown. Does Siri pee? Does she have sex? Ewww. Even for someone almost 60 that kind of question weirds me out.

One wonders what it would take to truly give Siri a mental break? Well, I’m not going to try. Siri is like a woman who is from a foreign country working in the U.S. as a reference librarian. She has some hits and misses. She stumbles on language on occasion. But she’s mine. All mine!

And the millions of others. That Siri is quite a dame!