Still too early to revisit that September morning

My friend Sarah and I were watching the trailers of upcoming movies last week while waiting for our picture to begin. The trailer came on for “United 93,” the big screen treatment of the ill-fated flight that crashed in a Pennsylvania field on Sept. 11, 2001. After the trailer, I think we both turned to each other and said almost simultaneously something like: “I can’t see this.”

The reviews for “United 93” have seemed to assure me that this the film is not just a gratuitous use of tragedy to fill box offices. But yet, I think anyone with any feelings, regardless of where you lived on that September morning all have different memories. Along with those different memories are different ideas as to how quickly one would want to get a stark reminder of what happened that day.

In some ways I was lucky on Sept. 11, because I was working as a reporter and my day was spent in a blur. That includes the fear I had that day about getting shot when I pulled up to the security gate at George W. Bush’s ranch in Crawford to get a quick comment an editor wanted from a law enforcement-type.

In other ways I was far from fortunate. I had just returned to work after being off three weeks, convalescing after surgery. And during those weeks I had developed for what was the first time in my life, a case of full-blown depression. Needless to say, 9/11 didn’t help that a bit. I have since had other bouts with depression but medication is helping me do a lot better. But 9/11 and the surrounding days were dark ones for me. It’s going to be awhile before I can revisit them without trepidation.

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