They came for diplomacy and a basketball game broke out

Had you been reading my blog over the past week instead of looking on the Internets at pictures of nekkid men, women and dogs you would know this is the definitive source for news in the isolated Communist nation North Korea. Well, maybe not definitive. Not even exhaustive. I suppose you could say I look at the nation’s goofy state Web page every now and then.

I had no idea why former NBA star and all-around strange dog Dennis Rodman was in North Korea on a self-appointed goodwill tour with ruler and new BFF Kim Up Chuck. No wait, it’s Kim Jong Un, mighty ruler of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, the DPRK. I never really learned in my minor study of political science how communist nations fell into the oxymoronic practice of calling themselves “democratic republics.” Or maybe I did and just forgot it. I notice that I say that a lot. But I digest digress.

Former Chicago Bull Dennis Rodman on a red hair day. Photo copyrighted by Steve Lipofsky, and Wikimedia Commons.
Former Chicago Bull Dennis Rodman on a weird hair day. Photo copyrighted by Steve Lipofsky, and Wikimedia Commons.

The Rodman goodwill tour got off to a grand start with Kim and Rodman having a gay old time watching a Harlem Globetrotters game. No inference is to be drawn from “gay old time,” mind you. The outing went spectacularly until the Globetrotters pulled that old trick where they end up throwing a bucket full of confetti at the crowd after missing another player. It is a move designed to make those in the audience feel as if they are about to get drenched with the bucket’s content. Even after the 20,000th time the prank is played by the barnstorming team it is funny. However, the team must have forgotten they were in North Korea and when the designated Globetrotter threw out the confetti¬† from the bucket at Rodman and Kim, the unfortunate player was gunned down by plain clothes (very, very plain) security men belonging to Kim.

The above paragraph didn’t happen except that Kim and Rodman did attend a Globetrotters’ game. Forgive me, I just emerged from my hyperbolic chamber. And since this post is No. 3,200 for Eight Feet Deep, I feel we are given a little license to exaggerates a bit (and use bad grammah !) Wow, I’m all combobulated and s**t.

I searched my favorite North Korean news source, “News From Korean Central News Agency” a.k.a. “Korean News Service” for in-depth coverage of the Rodman goodwill tour, but I was disappointed to find only this brief:

 DPRK, U.S. Basketball Players Have Joint Training

Pyongyang, February 27 (KCNA) — Basketball players of the DPRK and the U.S. conducted a joint training in Ryugyong Jong Ju Yong Gymnasium here on Wednesday.

Participating in it were U-18 players of the DPRK and ex-player of the NBA of the U.S. Dennis Rodman and his party.

Match tactics, training mode and technique movement of the players of the two countries were exchanged at the joint training.

A workshop on basketball technique took place that day.

I bet when Dennis Rodman sees this his feelings will be hurt. After all, the Basketball legend buffoon Hall of Fame player reportedly told Kim: “You have a friend for life.” Of course, in North Korea, life is very fleeting. I suppose one has to take whatever they can get when it comes to basketball diplomacy between the likes of Kim and Rodman.


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