No dumb deed goes unrewarded

Jennifer Wilbanks is running as fast as she can — to the bank

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Runaway bride-to-be Jennifer Wilbanks and her fiance are getting $500,000 for the rights to their story, according to Washington Post media critic Howard Kurtz. The deal with New York agent Judith Regan reportedly included dubs on a television interview. However, NBC insists it did not pay for the interview Wilbanks has taped with “Today’s” Katie Couric.

Whatever.

The bottom line is someone does something stupid and gets paid big bucks for it. Society rewards stupidity. I’m not saying Wilbanks is stupid. I don’t know her. But her faked abduction was tremendously, as Mr. Thesaurus would say, “dull, dense, lumpish, doltish, simple, simple-minded, moronic, imbecilic … ” Yet Jennifer appears to be headed for a much greater payday than I have ever seen.

Whatever.

Kids used to be told they all could grow up someday to be president. Of course, that’s a pretty dumb thing to tell a kid anyway. It’s like telling them they could win the lottery, or could be an astronaut, or be the next Shaquille O’Neal. In light of developments such as Ms. Wilbanks selling her story, I suppose we can now tell kids that: “You too can grow up, do something tremendously idiotic, and get paid big bucks for it.” Then you wouldn’t be streching credulity as with expectations for someday becoming president.

It makes me think I am wasting my time trying to get jobs as a freelance writer. Perhaps I should devote more time thinking of something insanely absurd that might capture the nation’s imagination and make me rich all with a minimum of jail time. What an American dream!

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