Who's so vain and other great mysteries of life on a Friday

Greetings and calibrations on what is a thunder-filled, rainy, Friday afternoon in Southeast Texas. It’s been a stressful week so I thought I’d just throw a few odds and ends out there and see if they stick to anything.

We’re so glad that’s cleared up

After all these years we finally learn who Carly Simon meant when she sung “You’re So Vain.” It turns out it wasn’t Warren Beatty, Mick Jagger, James Taylor, Paul Simon, Simon and Garfunkel, Simon and Schuster, Simple Simon or any of the other people in the entertainment world named Simon. Instead, it was record mogul David Geffen. I suppose that back in the early 1970s it would have been nearly impossible to sell a hit record titled: “You’re So Gay.”

Stick that up your Appalachian Trail

Jenny Sanford was granted a divorce from her husband, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, whose cheatin’ heart told on him when he lied about hiking on the Appalachian Trail. He instead had gone to Argentina to visit a longtime lover. The then-rising Republican star said, in first explaining the miscue, that he knew it was one of those “A” places he had planned to visit.

Swiss line up for knives in pending conflict with Libya

The Swiss Army is handing out the famed Swiss Army Knives to its populace after Libyan strong man and resident nut job Moammar Gadhafi threatened the long-neutral European state with a “holy war” over a 2008  arrest and brief detainment of Gadhafi’s son and wife. Experts have said Switzerland should not worry about an actual war with Libya given the past outlandish actions of Ghadhafi. However, Swiss officials countered that no one had actually believed the United Kingdom and Argentina would have fought a war over the Falklands. Or was that Appalachia that fought the UK, asked Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina?

Canadians apologize for women’s hockey team celebration and intend to apologize even more

The Canadian government says it will hold a national day of apology on Saturday after some of its women’s olympic hockey team celebrated with alcoholic beverages and cigars following their gold-medal win over the U.S. team. Government officials in Canada said that it was not sufficient in the country’s culture of politeness to only offer a meager apology by the hockey team’s governing body. “All Canadians should feel sincerely ashamed and only after a national day of remorse will it suffice that we show how much we wish to express our regret,” Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper said in an address to the nation, adding: “eh?”