October 2009 - Page 3 of 4 - Eight Feet Deep

October 16, 2009

In slugdom, oblivious to runaway nouns

It seems as if once in awhile American society has to have some sort of ridiculous news event to focus upon. The “Runaway Bride” comes to mind.

The latest sensation is the “Runaway Balloon” in Colorado. I suppose we just like the thought of people, places or things running away because we are stuck in our own day-to-day routines.

You can read all about it, see the family and pictures and videos of the balloon on You Tube in order to obsess your little hearts out.

That is what has been so great about being out of town, out of state and out of the same old-same old this week. I haven’t done anything special except watch my friend’s German shepherd puppy get into tons of mischief. But it’s nice to be a slug sometimes. Tomorrow, it’s off to Memphis to catch a plane back to Houston, one of those “regional jets” which looks and feels like a shrunken DC-9. Does anyone remember them? But it flies and has seats, thus it qualifies for what Stevie “Guitar” Miller called a “big ol’ jet airliner.”

Until the next post. Here’s looking achoo. Bless you.

October 14, 2009

Town name apparently not linked to amphibian abuse

Since I have been vacationing in Arkansas I have pondered the origin of the oddly-named Toad Suck, Ark.

Now I don’t plan on visiting Toad Suck anytime soon, but I was interested in just how the town got that name. And bless Al Gore’s heart for inventing the Internet, I found one explanation.

It seems that when steamboats cruised the Arkansas River the captains would tie up when the water wasn’t at a favorable depth at as spot that now is occupied by Toad Suck Lock and Dam. While awaiting better waters the captains would visit a local tavern and “suck on a bottle ’til they swell up like toads,” according to the Web site of Cory and Jill Imboden. The couple are 2009 co-chairs of Toad Suck Daze, which is a 3-day festival in Conway, Ark., that benefits educational scholarships.

That is a much better explanation — the Toad Suck name origin — than I had envisioned. I saw perhaps toads being used for nefarious purposes such as people who lick certain hallucinogenic frogs as described in this article from Pennsylvania.

Of course, those steamboat captains might have seen objects which weren’t really there, pink elephants come to mind, after binging on rot gut for an extended period. But I suppose that is an entirely different matter altogether.

October 13, 2009

Waters got to flow, muskrats got to giggle

No, that isn’t the rain that has been falling most of today here in northeastern Arkansas where I am on vacation, visiting a friend. It is, actually, the water rushing over the dam where a spring spawns the Spring River, near the Missouri border. Some 9.78 million gallons of water per hour flow here at what is now the Mammoth Spring State Park and creates the scenic and trout-laden river. I also was able to view some of the Spring Lake’s own “Muskrat Love,” although we were unable to determine which was Muskrat Suzie and Muskrat Sam. We also really didn’t see any love. I just had to make some remark about the 1970s song — one which some call the worst song ever — that people either like or to which they have a violent reaction.

Many thanks to my friend Paul from Tokyo, who updated the football picks I prognosticated guessed last week while I am vacationing.

October 9, 2009

Noble, Nobel. Can't we just get along?

Yep, like many others this morning, I too woke up and scratched my head, having to look twice, when I saw President Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Along with countless others, I too agree Obama has not accomplished enough to make him what one would think was a worthy recipient of the prize. I support Obama but I wish he would accomplish more.

Obama has two major problems (three if you include the fact that he is black and his election has stirred up a lot of latent racism). One is that his election pissed off his opposition more than most expected. I thought the hard core conservatives went around the bend when Clinton was elected president. Little did I know. The conservative, one might even say ultra-conservative, wing of the Republican party has thrown a monkey wrench into their portion of the deal to govern the country. The party is being led by people acting more like bratty children who go around with their hands over their ears screaming: “I can’t hear you. I can’t hear you.”

Secondly, Obama did not pick a very good inner circle from what it seems to me. Maybe Rahm Emmanuel should just deal with Congress and somebody — also a grownup — might possibly step in as chief of staff. Something needs to be done because an extremely likable, popular and intelligent individual is being squandered in his role as leader of the free world.

Now as for the opposition crying out about the latest thing to stir them up, namely the Obama, er, sorry, the Nobel Peace Prize. The pundits have to find something to show themselves that they are wise so they listen to the rabble who are rousing their like-minded. Steele, the idiot GOP chairman, Jeez Louise! The Democratic National Committee also didn’t do themselves a lot of favors with their response. The false assumption that the opposition is anti-American worked because the right wing had people who listen to anything, no matter how stupid it is. The DNC should remember who they work for.

I can see, from what the Nobel folks said, what logic they followed in awarding Obama the prize. It is somewhat logical. That’s the best I can say for their decision. What people need to keep in mind though is that — with the exception of certain contests of skill or sport — most awards are subjective and don’t mean jack when it comes right down to it.

After working for nearly 20 years in the newspaper industry I won awards and I didn’t win awards I thought and others thought I should have. Mostly newspaper awards are for prestige of the owners, publishers or higher-ups. Many of the awards that bear my name today sit in the lobby or on the wall of newspapers where I once, but no longer, work. I may have received a certificate. Oh gee. Thanks. Couldn’t you have given me a T-shirt or a hat?

Although I found it bizarre and puzzling that Obama won the peace prize, it is one of those subjective awards that he won, along with a million-something bucks. And most likely, Obama won’t even get to keep the money. But it is a prize and a prize like most other awards need to be kept in proper context.

If people are going to have a cow, they shouldn’t go popping one out over this.

October 8, 2009

Wal-Mart's "Speedy Checkout": The ultimate oxymoron?

My checking out at Wal-Mart this afternoon must have set a new personal worst. I figure that it took me an average of 1.3 minutes to self-scan each of the 13 items I purchased.

The usual Wal-Mart self-scan problems reared their ugly head. I couldn’t get items to scan, no way, no how. I tried entering the bar code and it failed to register the item each time. The machine told me to take the item out of the bag and put it on the scanner. I called the self-scan assistance person about four times.

I see more problems with Wal-Mart self-scan machines than at any other retailer that uses them. I don’t know what causes the problems. It seems like — for one thing — the little glass cover over the scanner usually looks smudged and smeared, as if it needs cleaning. Whether that causes items not to register, I don’t know because I am not technically savvy about those machines or almost any other type of machinery.

But I do know I experience problems practically every time I use Wal-Mart’s self-scan. I also hear others complain. Go to “Google” and type in “Wal-Mart” “self-scan checkout” and see what kind of complaints you will see.

Why not go to a regular cashier and check out? Why it is for the exact reason I use self-scan machines in the first place. Usually there are long lines. If the cashier needs assistance with an item there is no telling how long it will take him or her to get it. If there is a computer problem of any kind with the register, it is like a Level I national emergency. And there are individual complaints that make me veer toward the U-Scan rather than the cashier.

Wal-Mart should, by now, realize their self-scan machines are for the most part, junk. The company should do something about it. Because one of these days, sure as shootin’, someone who already has had the Mother of all bad days is going to try to check out at the Wal-Mart self-scan and encounter major problems that make him (probably but could be her) berserk and he is going to take a hammer or shovel or some tool he was about to purchase and start walloping the machine until it turns into something unrecognizable. The shopper will, of course, be arrested and taken to jail.

Such incidents ultimately wind up on the news and one has to think Wal-Mart is going to end up the bad guy with such an incident. That can’t be good, unless Wal-Mart thinks any publicity is good publicity. Personally, I don’t think a company that has become as huge as it is did so by employing such a philosophy. I could be wrong, but I don’t think so.