Trump, Jeb, CNN women and Clark Kent gets accosted by writer with Bob Dylan references.

Ahh. Here I am with the television on and it seems Donald Trump is speaking. What is good about this scene? The volume is off.

Oh. Now there is a commercial. A firefighter is nonplussed because years of varied mouth abuse has left him with ugly teeth. Maybe it was all that firehouse food. Firefighter Bad Teeth goes to a dental implant place and afterwards he feels much better. I don’t know why.

The fireman guy looks 50-something. He should be ready for retirement. He can go on painting houses on his days off. Nothing wrong with that. My brother John was a painter. I worked with him some so I guess that makes me a painter. He paid pretty decently for a brother. Maybe I was only a painter’s helper. That’s better than being hamburger helper.

I actually painted a couple of houses by myself. I really hated doing that. Back to Bad Teeth. What does the fireman think a good smile will do? Will he use his dazzling smile as a beacon to find lost children in the city sewer system? Perhaps he will smile as a painter. His painting client will say: “That’s it. That’s the color I want. It’s off white.” The firefighter/painter says: “Damned dentists!”

Whoa. Back to CNN. Joe Biden is talking to a nursing student. Huh? Some reporter, who reminds me of Clark Kent, is speaking about something or the other. Now, back to the CNN desk. Here is a blonde. Wait, there’s a blonde. Everywhere there’s a blonde blonde.

Jeb Bush is on TV. Where have you been, Jeb? Jeb is also pictured with his Tweet, or is it tweet. Tweet, tweet. What do you want, little bird?. And heeerrree is Trump. Then it is back to Jeb’s tweet. Back to Trump. He’s looking grump(y). Grumpy Trump(y). Trump wants to make America better. Better than what?

Wow! Now there is one blonde, one white and one black. Hold on! That’s one white, one black, and one blonde. Is it the Mod Squad? No it’s only Gloria Borger. Isn’t she a brunette? “G.L.O.R.I.A. Gloria!” Sing it Van. Back to politics. “Trump Should Speak English,” that is what it says below Gloria. It’s “Developing Now.”

Isn’t the problem Trump is speaking way too much English?

Now another brunette speaks. Where did she come from? And what is that she is sitting on? Why it’s a book. Actually, it’s a book of poems and she handed it to me. It was written by an Italian poet from the 13th century. And this is where we are. Sitting here, with the TV on and the sound turned off — all tangled up in blue.

“Does anyone have a harmonica?”

Who needs a headline: the cable news networks

CNN winds up on my s**t list every once in awhile. And lately that “awhile” is every f**king day!

First the cable news has a “presidential candidate” with whom it apparently has easy access. Reporter Athena Jones, just now, alluded to his having staying power. It’s what, 15 months until the election and even a year more or less, until the major party conventions.

Donald Trump, garnering more than 25 percent of GOP voters in one recent poll, seems to pop up for every CNN show with perhaps the exceptions of “Death Row Stories” and that of Tony Bourdain’s show.

I cannot remember CNN falling all over a candidate. I believe the interest in Trump and his willingness to spout all kinds of bulls**t via the electronic media is somewhat of a cable perpetual motion machine. It isn’t just CNN’s fawning. What about Fox? Well, I bet newsmen like Shep Smith has to bow and scrape before Megan Kelly.

Okay, it’s the silly season. The proof is in the pudding and desert won’t be served until Super Tuesday. A convention fight at the Republican National Shindig next year would be too much to hope for.

The problem is The Donald has gone beyond all reason and makes up these wild statements. Take for instant, his “plan” to deport all illegal immigrants and even their kids who were born in the U.S. Likewise, while not mentioning — perhaps even not knowing — the Fourteenth Amendment would require change, Trump said he would end an Amercan birthright for foreign babies born in the USA. Today, it sounds as if he was craw-fishing.

There are thousands, well 14, 16, however many Republican candidates. You may hear a bit about Jeb Bush. He would once and for all establish a Bush presidential dynasty. Or sometimes you hear Huckabee because he’s a preacher politician. It is the same with Democratic candidates. You hear how Independent Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders is pulling ahead of Hillary. And you only hear of Hillary when she is paired with emails.

Unlike the case with Fox News, I think the Trump fixation is not geared to elect him to the White House. It’s just laziness, going for the low-hanging fruit. Hell, if The Donald offer me a ride on his whirly bird I would take him up on it. Of course, if I had a chance to ride Marine One or Air Force, no matter who the CINC was I would go for it. Or, if Willie Nelson offered me a ride on his bus I would definitely accept. I best leave it there.

That is just how it goes for people who go all apes**t for a never-ending scandal. We don’t have a king or queen but we have our Fleet Street gossip mongers.

Sandra Bland: Suicide or Homicide? Will people find the answer believable?

My friend Paul sent me a message from Tokyo today asking questions about the Texas traffic stop video of Sandra Bland, who was arrested and was later found dead in jail:

 “I want to know, as the driver does, what is she being arrested for? What has she done? What can the cop order her to do — and based on what?

“By Texas law, do you have to ‘step out of the car’?”

All good questions that Paul asks. And certainly there are answers though perhaps not nearly enough for some. Here are some supposed answers assembled by The New York Times. It seems as if some editor told a reporter on a short deadline to have pronto so many inches of print or whatever they measure news with these days. It’s okay. It’s not like plagiarizing a lead. Sorry, inside joke.

The answers in the article are enough for a start in that netherworld called justice where truth often finds itself the prisoner. When one sees the video more times than is good for one’s own mental stability and reads what was said in the video it would seem a tie ball game as to whom is the most surly. Texas State Trooper Brian Encina surely has the advantage though wearing a badge, Taser and firearm.

Having covered one of the early cases involving a police dash-cam video — this too involved a Texas state trooper — my belief is that audio plus video recordings don’t always equal instant truth.

In reality, the widely disseminated video of Sandra Bland’s arrest might stand moot if another video or a witness appears with some concrete evidence of how the prisoner died in custody. In the Perry Mason world this used to occur every day. But life isn’t Perry Mason and perhaps that is why I haven’t seen episodes of this show in three or four decades.

It’s sad to say that this isn’t the first story I have read or heard about in which a black person died under mysterious circumstances in an East Texas jail. I also have written stories about black people, men, who died under suspicious reasons in East Texas county jails.

My first such story was also my first freelance try. I worked on “spec,” meaning no money until the story is finished and approved by the editors, in this instance it was Texas Monthly during the late 1980s that disapproved. I chalked this up to my inexperience. Oh well, my expenses were reimbursed.

This story too was controversial. A black man from Louisiana was jailed and allegedly beaten to death with a “slap stick” by a cop because he was making too much noise. I investigated another claim — this was in an adjacent county to the aforementioned case —  in which a black man had supposedly committed suicide in jail, according to the official reports. As in the Bland case, the family in the case I investigated didn’t believe their loved one took his own life.

Is there a connection here? Is there a longstanding — the cases I investigated as a journalist were in the 1980s and 1990s — epidemic of black people being killed in East Texas jails that reaches into today?

Unfortunately and with a bit of irony, the answer is “yes,” “no” and “no answer” is found in black and white. Cultural differences from as far back as the Antebellum South to today permeate discussions, not to mention the unmentionable. The black perspective is often that white redneck cops are a danger to blacks in general. And, of course, “Brothers don’t kill themselves.” Clarence Page, the black, Pulitzer Prize winning columnist for the Chicago Tribune, calls such thinking a myth.

It is difficult to find the truth. It is a task made harder with that noise which is the world spinning around and around. If the truth is that Sandra Bland was murdered it will not make anyone happy. The same can be said if it is proven that she did kill herself. But something short of proof seems an even more likely outcome.

And the burden of proof? Why it will likely be a heavy one indeed.

Small news source keeps feds feet to the fire

The arrest of a terror suspect on Monday was not a large surprise to me, thanks to reporting of a small northwestern Massachusetts news site.

My longtime friend, Sally, e-mailed me a story from last week that had reported on the search of a house in Adams, Mass. The town is near the state line with Vermont. The original reporting told of FBI agents along with other officers retrieving various items from a  house on July 4. The news site kept getting stonewalled by federal authorities until today when they announced charges against an ISIS, or ISIL, sympathizer.

Alexander Ciccolo, aka Ali Al Amriki, 23, was arrested on charges of a felon in possession of firearms. Ciccolo, whose father is a 27-year veteran of the Boston Police Department, was caught taking delivery of two Glock handguns, a Colt AR-15 and a SG-550. Both the Colt and SG, the latter manufactured by Swiss Arms, are .223-caliber rifles. Both are characterized as assault weapons although some gun-rights supporters often dispute such a description of similar weapons. Literature from a sister company, Sig Sauer, uses the assault rifle moniker for the SG-550. Found at Ciccolo’s residence as well was material that included a pressure cooker, which was of the sort used in the Boston terror bombings. The suspect was convicted of a DUI charge in February.

Ciccolo had been on the feds’ radar since last fall after what the FBI called an “anonymous” acquaintance indicated the suspect was “obsessed” with Islam. That source is reportedly Ciccolo’s father, the Boston police captain, according to the Associated Press.

A hat tip to for their dogged reporting on this story. I kept waiting to hear about an arrest and, lo and behold!

Flag pins only go fabric deep

Look at the photo below:

President Obama mugs it up with newly commissioned Coast Guard officers on May 20 at the USCG Academy in New London, Conn.

President Obama mugs it up with newly commissioned Coast Guard officers on May 20 at the USCG Academy in New London, Conn. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

What do you see besides new Coast Guard ensigns having what appears to be fun poses with their Commander-in-Chief upon the graduation of the 2015 class at the USCG Academy in New London, Conn. Well yes, there’s that. But what else?

Why no!! It can’t be!! OMG, IT IS!!!! If you look at the President’s left lapel, you will see, an American flag pin. (Well, I had to reduce the photo a bit, but trust me, go to and look for yourself.) Heavens to Betsy! What’s the world coming to?

I saw a discussion on a relative’s Facebook page lamenting that ABC News anchors and those from other networks don’t wear flag pins. People also complained it was just as that Obama guy who doesn’t wear an American flag pin. Well, what’s with his photo taken last week?

If you look through most photos of Obama on the White House Web site when he is wearing a coat, you will find he wears a flag lapel pin.

Looking through the various comments about ABC having some new order not to wear flag pins, I found that President Richard Nixon was the first president to wear a flag pin. The practice kind of waned until George W. Bush started wearing them again. Whether that is true I don’t know. I have read on and numerous news stories that ABC had a policy saying on-air people shouldn’t wear symbols such as American flags in order to show impartiality. Apparently, this had been a policy for decades, not after 9/11 or recently, as some claim. Other networks  reportedly have no such policy.

There were a couple of other comments on this particular Facebook post that I feel a need to address. First is that something is “happening to America.” Some say they want their “country back.” Another site said that Obama and network anchors not wearing flag pins were a “slap in the face to all veterans.” I remarked on this post that I am a veteran and it doesn’t bother me in the least.

Symbols, I said, are a sign of patriotism and should not be confused with actually “being a patriot.”

This Memorial Day is supposed to remember all those who died in service of their country. It isn’t a day to remember us of something that never existed. You want a real mess? How about the late 1960s and particular during the Vietnam War? And not only the war but its aftermath. I feel I must constantly remind people that when I served in the Navy, from 1974 to 1978, folks never came up and said to a military member: “Thank you for your service.” Some might say “F*** you very much.” I never had that happen. I did have people, mostly my age, who recoiled from you because you were in uniform or was sporting a military haircut. I’m not saying everyone was like that, thankfully.

I was lucky to find some wonderful civilian people, especially in Gulfport, Miss. and San Diego, when I served there in the 1970s. I still do find good people who sincerely appreciate our service. This Memorial Day I think of those people as well as those who sacrificed all for their country. It doesn’t matter whether you fly a flag, wear a flag lapel or have a flag decal or ribbon on your car. Those things don’t matter. It’s what’s in one’s heart. Like John Prine sings:

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Adios Dave

At what point I stopped watching “The Late Show With David Letterman” is difficult to recall. Probably that difficulty remembering stems from not actually pulling the plug on his show in its entirety.

I came to watch Jimmy Kimmel’s show on ABC within the last six months or so. I was just tired of Letterman, something about his show had gone stale. Maybe it’s like becoming what we called in the Navy, a short-timer. We knew the days, hours and minutes before we left for civilian life and we would rub that knowledge in the face let our cohorts who had much more time left. We weren’t particularly big on doing our normal duties either.

Now a show as big as Letterman’s operation can’t just be left to go to hell in a handbasket. I have watched some episodes lately of Letterman, such as last night’s laugh fest with Bill Murray. He came out of a giant celebration cake and upon hugging Letterman, both continued to wear the cake through the episode. No, Dave still had very quality shows when I stopped watching, it’s just, I don’t know, a tiresome act.

David Letterman. Wikimedia. Creative Commons

David Letterman. Wikimedia. Creative Commons

I first started watching Kimmel when his show first aired. I think he had Mike Tyson as a week-long guest and it was very oddball and very funny. And I had never liked Tyson. That show began a process of rehabilitation toward my feelings for Tyson. But I continued on, watching Letterman and occasionally I’d watch Leno. I liked his Jay Walking skits and “Headlines.” But I’d go back to Letterman without fail. My watching mostly depended on who Dave had as a guest.

No entertainer, at least in modern TV, had the type of show like Letterman’s. I think it was interactive before interactive was cool. I liked how some of his seeming “grunts” or regular employees would perform some of the best comedy with Letterman, this would include people like stage manager Biff Henderson, who had done countless skits both on site and off to some forsaken place. Dave’s Mom also became a beloved character on the show. Rupert Jee, the owner of the Hello Deli next door to the Ed Sullivan Theater, was on a recent show. Rupert seemed over the years like he would do anything Dave asked, no matter how ridiculous the request.

1978 Press photo of Warren Zevon.

1978 Press photo of Warren Zevon.

Music director Paul Schafer and his bad were stars in their own right. They often had musical guests who also sat in for multiple nights. One of my favorite guest musicians and apparently Letterman’s was the rock genius Warren Zevon. The writer and performer of hits such as “Werewolves of London” and “Lawyers, Guns and Money,” played many Lettermen shows from the first seasons on NBC to the early 2000s CBS incarnation. Zevon substituted for Shafer about 20 times and Letterman had a show entirely dedicated to Zevon upon his announcement of a diagnosis for terminal cancer that eventually killed him.

Letterman educated people during the aftermath of his own heart attack and he was the perspective-in-chief in the days following that horrible day on Sept. 11, 2001. Watch below.

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These were just some of my most favorable moments from David Letterman, the majority having been on CBS from the 90s on. I either didn’t have or didn’t watch TV much in the 80s when Letterman began his network shows. I haven’t watched Jimmy Fallon’s show on NBC. I don’t know if I will. And I have no idea how Colbert will be as the new man behind the desk here at CBS in the Letterman time spot. If he can give the people the humor, the goofiness, the silliness with style and yes, even the perspective, that folks deserve, I might just watch Colbert’s show as well as Kimmel’s.

Good luck, David Letterman.

They say it’s our birthday. Well, just missed it.

Our fair blog quietly celebrated 10 years of existence on Tuesday, April 21. Happy B-day!

All this, meaning eightfeetdeep, started as something to entertain myself as well as a daily writing exercise. This was while I was on unemployment from my last full-time job. I had worked as a newspaper reporter, columnist and editor for the previous 15 years at five different Texas newspapers (One doesn’t count.) I had kind of tentatively planned to try my hand at freelancing by the time I was 50 years old. As it turned out I was about six months ahead of schedule.

I have kept up with turning out a daily blog for most of the past 10 years. However, I also have worked a decent-paying part-time job for about seven of those years. During the last year or so as I was given a steady dose of 32-hours a week, as well as serving free now for a few years as a regional vice president of my union local. Consequently, my output slowed down. The same can be said of my paying freelance jobs.

For a couple of years I made money as a freelance journalist. When I say “I made” money, I don’t mean I came out ahead. Neither did I “make” money, as in printing up my own $20-bills. Now what made me think of that? Uh, nothing Secret Service Special Agent Whatshisname.

All of the previous happened as I have become older and developed a few health problems, diabetes the most serious one. I really have improved my health as for Type II diabetes, my A1C falling on a downward trend to 7.1. I also had surgery on my toe Tuesday that was spurred by my diabetes. I developed a ulcer on my left second toe and it never healed completely. So my podiatrist suggested about a month ago that he do hammertoe surgery on that toe in order to keep from striking the injured toe and in doing so allowing my toe to “all hang out” so to speak.

I have a bandage on my foot that I was told to stay off of except for going to the bathroom or kitchen. I have had to do a bit more than that, though carefully, because I am a (confirmed or unconfirmed, I’m not quite sure which one) bachelor.

So, I don’t know what my toe is doing, if anything, and will not know until Doc unwraps it on Monday.

I have tried mostly through using my blog name as my identity to, not shield it, but to not necessarily expose it. I certainly am fooling nobody because so many of my stories have been spread among folks I know, who at the very least, can put two plus two together gets something between three and five.

This past decade has exposed me to some very interesting experiences. Some — like Hurricanes Rita and Ike — were exciting. Others, like living in my truck for about a month at one time, and losing two brothers last year were sad. Those hurricanes were a source of income for awhile, as I freelanced for a major metropolitan newspaper. I freelanced in suburbia for about six months as well while staying in the Dallas area with a friend.

I am in the beginning stages of gathering then culling some of my favorite posts over the last 10 years and, most likely, adding to them for a book. Whether it will be hardcover, e-book, or body art, I don’t know. I need a publisher. If you are a publisher and are not trying to scam me — I will check you out scrupulously — send me an e-mail to the address on the blog.

Looking at my Statcounter stats, I am pleased to see I still get an average of 20 page views per day. Only one or two are return visits, but that is understandable due to my recent lack of output. Most recently, those page views came from the United States and 20 other countries including Iran, Russia, Mexico, Vietnam and, oh, Canada.

By the way, the name, “eightfeetdeep,” yes, it did come in part from the HBO series “Six Feet Under.” I decided not to go along with convention by saying why six feet when you can go eightfeetdeep?

I have thought at times trying to make money through a blog, not especially this one. I do still take donations. But I don’t know what’s to come in the future. I certainly never planned on blogging for 10 years.

“Justified” end worthy of its motivator


Since Tuesday evening when the FX channel’s Elmore Leonard-inspired “Justified” played out after a six-season run I have seen the show mentioned in critiques as a “Western.” I find that quite puzzling from the somewhere after the show’s beginning. That is when the theme song cues up called “Long Hard Time To Come” which — recorded by a group named Gangstagrass — is about equal parts bluegrass and rap.

I have read a fair number of Western-themed books and watched even more television and movie “Westerns” for almost five decades. Likewise, I have read most of everything Elmore Leonard has written with the exception of “Raylan,” which I bought as an e-Novel last night from Amazon. Raylan, of course, is the deputy U.S. Marshal protagonist in the now completed series “Justified.” The character also appeared in some four of Leonard’s novels during this century.

A Long Hard Time To Come. Photo appears by Fair Use.

A Long Hard Time To Come. Photo appears by Fair Use.

Maybe it is the fact that Raylan Givens appears like a deputy marshal from the old West by mostly wearing a cowboy hat. Or perhaps the fact the series is set in Eastern Kentucky, which is west of the center of the universe New York City, that makes it a so-called “Western.”

Leonard was listed as an executive producer of the show so the series certainly bears his stamp of approval and his influence. If you have read any of the tons of Leonard novels — especially his crime novels mostly set in South Florida and Detroit — you will likely find violence, general criminality and humor in addition to exquisite writing. Likewise, there is often odd-ball, ignorant and just generally some very poor human specimens who chose crime for their careers. The series “Justified” fits all those identities including the marvelous writing.

Everyone has their own reason for liking or disliking television shows. Sometimes both come into play. Take for instance the legal drama “The Good Wife.” The show, to me, has a great story line and interesting characters. I do ask myself each week, though, why am I watching the show, mainly because the plot line, particularly around the star Julianna Margulies character never seems to come out ahead. Sometimes she wins. But never, or so it seems, that she emerges as a clear victor. Maybe I’m wrong, but the show is named “The Good Wife.” Of course, I know the title means she has been the good wife for her husband, played by Chris Noth, who was states attorney, then locked up, only to emerge as Illinois governor. But still …

Most comedies, dramas or combinations that I most favor are those with a strong ensemble cast. “Justified” has filled that bill with the central characters Raylan (Timothy Olyphant,) Boyd (Walton Goggins,) Art (Nick Searcy) and Boyd’s wife Ava (Joelle Carter.)

A sometime dizzying array of secondary, though not “one-and-done” characters, populated Harlan County in the story or elsewhere over the past six seasons. This also made for a strong story lines that fit seemingly seamless.

The series-ender — titled “The Promise” brought closure as I preferred. It didn’t all come from a dream like “Dallas” or whatever the hell it was that happened in “The Sopranos.” It certainly didn’t end with the whole cast in jail, as was in the unsatisfying end to “Seinfeld.”

But there was violence and and a little mayhem. Even some folks who ended up in the slammer. That’s all of the ending I shall tease.

Now if you have recorded “Justified” you best go ahead and watch it because the end won’t be hidden for long. It’s kind of like something you might find with an Elmore Leonard book.

I have one book to finish on Kindle and I will then read the last work of Elmore and Raylan.



Justin Bieber, go talk to the Argentinian judges

Well at least one country will need not worry about their society going straight into the crapper due to Justin Beiber’s appearance.

Multiple news sources report that an Argentinian judge has issued a warrant for the arrest of the Canadian waste of global space singer. The judicial order is a result of an alleged assault of a photographer outside a Buenos Aires nightclub in 2013.

Diego Pesoa said Bieber and a bodyguard assaulted him after Pesoa tried to photograph him.

Bieber failed to answer questions about the incident. This week a judge ordered immediate detention of the 21-year-old who has been in a number of scrapes with the law.

Should Bieber feel as if he might want to jet down to Buenos Aires to make a fool of the Argentinian justice system, perhaps he should read this. (Warning: Graphic pictures and descriptions.)

Pondering the imponderable

This afternoon I am sitting here pondering my own little mind full of hobgoblins as well as studying just what my foolish consistency did to bring about such a state.

The Texas Legislature is in session so don’t get me started on states.

No, really. I think about the great questions that have come to haunt me from the many years past. For instance:

Where did all the yellow go?

I refer to the jingle Pepsodent toothpaste ran on the TVs and radios of the 50s and 60s which goes like this:

“You’ll wonder where the yellow went, when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent.”

Where is all that yellow? What’d they do with it? It’s hard to hide something that has to be exceedingly large.

  Photo: © Glenn Francis,

Jonathan Goldsmith, The Most Interesting Man In The World. Photo: © Glenn Francis,

And that person purported to be “The Most Interesting Man In The World,” why is it with every possible delight seemingly at his disposal would he settle for a Mexican beer? You know there is a reason why lime slices are given with south-of-the-border brew? Because most of those cervezas taste like crap!!! Well Dos Equis isn’t really too bad compared to some of the others. But this most interesting amigo also admonishes us to “stay thirsty.” Humans normally can survive three-to-five days without drinking water. I don’t know how beer figures into this. But going without something to drink is downright insane not to mention uncomfortable as hell. So why would one want to stay thirsty? Oh well, the ad just says their pitchman is interesting, not “the smartest man in the world.”

Those points I ponder are not limited to jingles and other crapola of the ad world. What about songs?

What about songs. Now if you want to travel down that road of no return absurdity, you will have no further to go than the lyrics of the 60s Jimmy Webb song MacArthur Park.

It is bad enough to consider:

  “Between the parted pages and were pressed/In love’s hot, fevered iron/Like a striped pair of pants”

Okay. I have no idea what the symbolism means. Sure, I can read, but if one wants a pressed pair of striped pants it sounds like those buddies need to be dry cleaned.


  “MacArthur’s Park is melting in the dark/All the sweet, green icing flowing down/Someone left the cake out in the rain

  “I don’t think that I can take it/’Cause it took so long to bake it/And I’ll never have that recipe again, oh noooooo”

  You bet your ass “oh noooooo.” Though this was hardly considered an example of the “psychedelic” music genre of rock, one wonders whether Webb had been trampling through the cow dung patch and came upon those little “magic” mushrooms.

  Don’t get me wrong. Webb is a very talented songwriter. He has written some of my favorite tunes, largely ones with a country bent or in between. For instance, the Glen Campbell hit “Galveston” and the country superstar collaboration “Highwaymen” — Kris Kristofferson, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings — took its name from the Webb tune they recorded “Highwayman.” Webb also wrote pop hits such as the 5th Dimension’s “Up Up and Away.”

  So Jim Webb deserves my What Was He Thinking award — although Webb has said everything in the song was really there, cake and all.

  It is when a person ponders the larger-than-life matters in life, that he or she is on the road to something, well, at least larger than half-life. Sorry. I think next time we have spring showers I will go buy a cake and put it in the rain.