Always make sure your turkey is well cooked

Well, tomorrow is Turkey Day. I know some people don’t like to hear the day of thanks called Turkey Day. But what can I say? I wasn’t the one who thought turkey should be the traditional fare on Thanksgiving Day. Just give thanks that the first Thanksgiving didn’t include roasted jackass. Were it so, we would all be saying: “Happy Ass!” since we normally leave the word “day” off Thanksgiving Day when such a greeting is made.

It is during the pre-Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays — the time of year when people decide to eat turkey — that various agencies and busybodies warn the public about making sure their turkey is properly cooked (see above photo).

I forget now why turkeys must be cooked properly. I think maybe the reason is that an uncooked turkey can lead to wattlitis. That’s when you develop a flap of skin under your chin like a turkey’s and it turns bright red when you see someone to whom you are sexually attracted. I hear it can be embarrassing.

Also, I think undone turkey can cause some kind of virus in which a person goes running around in a circle with his or her arms flapping up and down to the point that the person has to be shot to put them out of their misery. I think that’s why some people say improperly cooked turkeys can be dangerous.

So make sure your turkey is properly cooked. At least 1,600 degrees is recommended. If you see the stainless steel on your grill disintegrating (see above turkey photo), then you know you are on the right track.

Have a happy and safe Turkey Day.

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