Monday Night Football stinks. Oh yeah, Houston got stomped last night

Monday Night Football. Ugghhhhh. I don’t know what was worse, the ass kicking that the Patriots gave  Houston last night or having to watch the game on Monday Night Football.

Jon Gruden to the Dallas Cowboys?

Gruden to Oakland?

It seems you can’t read sports without hearing rumors of ESPN analyst and former Super Bowl-winning coach Jon Gruden taking some head coaching job somewhere. I wish the hell he’d go somewhere other than on ESPN.

The NFL Today: Arkansas, Tennessee want Jon Gruden

Good. We don’t.

Why do I dislike Gruden as a broadcaster? Why doesn’t cats and dogs get along? It’s just Jon Gruden being Jon Gruden the broadcaster. He is arrogant. He is self-promoting. He is Jon Gruden.

And yeah, as a Boston.com headline read today of the Sunday night rout by the Patriots over 11-1 Houston: “A game of Texas Fold-em.

But fear not Texans fans. The team has faced defeat for most of its life as an NFL team. They’ve stared loss in the face before, even this year, with Green Bay. The Packers have lost four of its 13 games to the 49ers, Seattle, Indianapolis and the Giants. New England lost to Arizona, Baltimore and Seattle. The season isn’t over, yet.

Turn out the lights, the party’s over for West Pac sailors

A lot of myths surround military life. It seems those stories appear much more in frequency and intensity when you talk about the Navy life, at least that’s how it seems to me since I served four years in “the Nav,” as we called it back then. One perpetual stereotype of sailors deals with drinking and drunkenness. Why, the sea shanty “What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor” dates back at least to the mid-1800s.

When our ship pulled into Subic Bay — ending my first voyage at sea though it was just the beginning of our deployment to the Western Pacific (West Pac) — I learned first hand that the drunken sailor was no myth.

That was September 1977, when the U.S. still had the Subic Bay Naval Station and Clark A.F.B. near Manilla. Today, at least with rules recently handed down by Navy and other military commanders, the drunken sailor is perhaps as close as it has ever been to a myth.

A spate of incidents involving U.S. military personnel in West Pac and particularly in Japan have prompted some of the harshest liberty restrictions in ages. Sailors stationed in Japan have an 11 o’clock curfew. If sailors stay at home they are not allowed to drink after 10 o’clock. If they go to a bar they must have an accompanying adult. They are also not allowed to leave home after more than one drink. As rightly pointed out in a Stars and Stripes article, some high school kids are allowed to state out later.

Incidents such as the rape of a 13-year-old girl in Okinawa had pressured the military to keep a tighter rein on all personnel, not just sailors. Two Texas-base sailors were arrested in the October crime. The military has dealt with a number of infractions, many with a civilian misdemeanor equivalent, committed by service members throughout Asia. Brawls and even worse behavior in Okinawa have long been a touchy point between the U.S. military and its Japanese hosts.

The result has been severe crackdowns and almost unheard of restrictions on sailors, Marine and other service members serving in or deployed to Asia. Restrictions are part of life for the military. Past restrictions usually emanated from unit-level or above.

The first transit on our destroyer’s West Pac deployment was from San Diego to the Philippines. We stopped off for six-hours on-base “liberty” at Pearl Harbor. I had duty that day and on the overnight visit on the way home. The first time, I got to take some trash off the ship to the pier. Such a Hawaiian adventure! And other time-eaters on the way to our home port away from home port in the Philippines included Naval Gunfire Support in which we fired our 5” cannons on some desolate, I suppose, island in the Hawaii chain. Although two weeks is not really a long time at sea we were nonetheless ready for liberty at Subic Bay and adjacent Olangapo. The latter is another story.

Plenty of drinking and bad behavior commenced when we sat foot on Philippine soil the first time and other times we docked here and elsewhere. The ship’s compliment as a whole was probably better-behaved — I was the ship’s legal yeoman so I knew who got in trouble — during our port visits to New Zealand and Australia. Part of the reason was the friendliness and genteel manner of our hosts. That isn’t to say a few incidents took place, even between the hard-drinking Aussies and the Americans. Some guys though, just couldn’t handle their liquor or had emotional problems which were compounded to produce some real screwups.

What surprised me the most about the time I spent on liberty in various locales of West Pac and the Southern Pacific is that behavioral incidents were not limited to the young, lower-ranked sailors. Our ship’s career counselor, a chief petty officer, went to Captain’s Mast for dancing on an Olangapo bar table, fighting with Shore Patrol and talking smack to our Command Duty Officer. The Old Man gave the chief seven-day’s restriction to the ship — those days were served after we were under way! I had come to the fleet from shore duty where senior enlisteds or officers either stayed out of trouble or who were an asset to the command so their report chits often got “lost.” I don’t know why I suspected the higher up’s didn’t cut loose some time.

We had restrictions sometimes and often they made no sense. Of course, the ultimate restriction was a midnight curfew in the Philippines due to martial law imposed by President Ferdinand Marcos. If we weren’t off the streets at midnight we could be, quite simply, shot by the M-16-carrying Constabulary, or so we were warned.

Certain sailors, E-5 and below, were given “Cinderella Liberty” in Jakarta, where we had to return to the ship at midnight. We also had uniform restrictions. Originally, E-4s — a third class petty officer, which I was at the time — and below had to wear their uniforms on liberty in Jakarta. All others could wear civvies. I think I made a reasoned, respectful argument to the Executive Officer as to how E-4s were as well non-commissioned officers and noted the Navy’s NCO corps was dropping out like flies at the time. I opined that perhaps such a small gesture as E-4s being allowed to wear civvies on liberty as was the norm then, might help restore a little RHIP (Rank Has Its Privileges) for new petty officers. He agreed and so third class petty officers on the ships, including myself, wore civies in Indonesia.

We had one other restriction. We were tied up outbound of a frigate that was sailing with us and we had to cross it to get to our ship. The scuttlebutt was that our ship was known for having drug problems — this was the late 1970s — so the docking would help prevent smuggling illegal substances aboard. Also, which I found rather extreme, each of us returning from liberty were given a die to roll and if it hit the magic number, ta ta!, we got body cavity searches for drugs. I was lucky in that I didn’t hit the magic number. As it turned out, all the attention to our sailors may not have achieved its goal. I knew of at least a couple of folks who, with one sailor swimming to our unattended port side, managed to smuggle two pounds of Indonesian hashish on board. Those were different days.

Such restrictions we faced often achieved no real results and were offensive to many. The Navy has tackled abuse of both alcohol and other drugs over the past 30 years since I was a sailor. It really had to be done, I suppose. You had old lifers getting up popping cans of beer from the barracks vending machine at 0630 before going to work. The enlisted club was open all day and you could get a couple of cold ones for lunch with your burger and fries at the Navy Exchange grill. And drugs, of course, were a “whole ‘nother thang.”

But the Navy and other services have gone overboard, pardon the pun, with the crackdown in the Pacific. The consequences of what some term “infantilezation” may blow up in the military’s face, as noted here. These are adults, like it or not, the military needs to treat them like responsible adults they should be and punish them or get rid of them if they are grossly irresponsible. It has been that simple for years now.

Still kicking, hanging onto the cliff, working on the weekend, remembering those “Night Moves”

Here comes the weekend. Woo hoo! I have to work eight hours tomorrow, but I’m not complaining. I have decided to share some of the reading I found on a couple of items of interest. Rather than my take on something — we know what that’s worth — maybe someone will learn something they didn’t know from this. Then again, maybe not.

Also, I am painstakingly not writing my opinion because I might eventually write a freelance piece for some publication that is somewhat related to the issue. I am talking about the NFL commissioner floating the idea that the football kickoff should cease because studies show the kickoff is where most injuries occur during that task. One side issue which is related to this story is the lawsuits which were filed on the NFL by more than 3,900 plaintiffs over the neuro-cognative damage from serial concussions sustained in playing football . Roger Goodell, NFL Commissioner, proposed that the kickoff go the way of leather helmets. Instead, a team would get the ball on the 30-yard-line with a 4th down and 15-yard situation. The team could either punt or take its chances on making 15 yards or more for the 1st down. Opinions? Yeah, I have opinions. What about them? But I will keep this one to myself.

Finally, if we haven’t had enough talk of “going over the cliff” now stories are circulating how air travel may be affected if we indeed are flung off that cliff. The FAA would have less flight controllers, the program that props up some little airports would end so some smaller airports might have to shut down, as well as TSA screeners perhaps having to go. (I bet Rep. Gohmert would like that.) In the run, air travel would be much more costly, and this could all add to another recession.

On that cheery little note, I bid you a farewell for the weekend. Yeah, buddy! I saw them at the “Super Bowl of Rock and Roll” on June 12, 1982, with my friend Suzie, her sister and some friend of a friend. Loverboy appeared on that hot Dallas day in the Cotton Bowl with (Louisiana) Le Roux, Ozzy Osborne and Foreigner. That was the second time I saw Foreigner. I caught them back in ’77 at the City Park Stadium in New Orleans with some four of my Navy buddies. Also at that concert, in something like June 1977 was Bob Seger, Louisiana Le Roux (must of been Deja Roux in Dallas) and Fleetwood Mac. The latter group’s single “Dreams” from their Rumours album was No. 1 on the Billboard Singles chart that same month. Seger’s “Night Moves” reached No. 4 after its release in October 1976. So needless to say Fleetwood Mac and Seger were extremely hot when I saw them in New Orleans. I also got to experience my only foreign rock concert later that year in 1977 when Fleetwood Mac played in Auckland, New Zealand. Just reliving some good times, man!

Lufkin VA back open and bed bug-less, delivered here in a wave of HST nostalgia

Some good news for veterans who use the Lufkin (Texas) VA clinic just appeared on my mojo wire. Actually, it came by e-mail which sometimes seems to bring mojo of one sort of another. Hunter S. Thompson actually used the term “mojo wire” in his classic “Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72.” My estimation of who knows Hunter S. and who is reading this blog is not imaginable. So Thompson, whose style of work as a writer was called “gonzo journalism,” was probably the first gonzo journalist. All of those young writers — Me? Guilty — whose instinct was to fight the “system” emulated Thompson. In the end, only Hunter S. was Hunter S. His ashes shot from a cannon on a 153-foot tower shaped in a double-thumbed fist holding a peyote button, and all. Forgive me, I was cast adrift on a wave of nostalgia.

Perhaps it isn’t appropriate to make a blog post about a VA clinic reopening with references to a drug-addled maniac. But Hunter was an Air Force veteran, where he began his writing career as a sports reporter. I think that means something or other here.

My point is that a news release from the Department of Veterans Affairs came to me this afternoon announcing the Charles Wilson — of “Charlie Wilson’s War” or “Good Time Charlie Wilson” fame — VA Clinic in Lufkin is reopening after a good debugging.

 ” … a veteran came in to the clinic seeking medical assistance for a rash, the press release said. Clinic staff found bed bugs on his clothing and wheelchair. While the patient refused help and left, the staff immediately took action.”

The clinic reopened today after exterminators “extensively fumigated the building” and found no more bed bugs.

This dispatch raises several questions. One is, why did the patient refuse help? Was it because they planned to fumigate him? A Wikipedia article on bed bugs said the insects were a big problem on U.S. military bases during World War II.

Initially, the problem was solved by fumigation, using Zyklon Discoids that released hydrogen cyanide gas, a rather dangerous procedure. Eventually, DDT was found as a “safe” alternative, said the Wikipedia article.

I am not insinuating that the VA would use the WWII method on the bed bug-ridden vet who sought treatment and touched off warning bells. Some vets just don’t have the patience one needs at times to travel the road to VA assistance. “It’s socialized medicine,” said a VA employee awhile back. And so it is. But it is all many of us veterans have.

A VA microbiologist/control specialist noted that bed bugs have become a problem again due to increased travel and reduced usage in pesticides, said the press release. DDT? Remember running behind the mosquito trucks in the smoke as a kid?

Bed bugs were pretty commonplace when I was a kid and gradually they were gone and now they are back and they are pissed!

Oh well, if you are a veteran and have been bitten by bed bugs or think you have, here is a good article from a reputable source (The Mayo Clinic.) Make mine with mayo on the side … I’m sorry I don’t know what gets into me. And after reading the Mayo article, if you need help, then get it!

 

Food: Passion, some drinks and eating Pakistani at a Mexican restaurant

People got to eat.

Did you ever go to a restaurant and question its very existence? I have though not often because usually I was more interested in getting up and close with the waitress menu. Let’s say for instance you have a fine-dining establishment — a least such a place where you aren’t given a washtub full of peanuts to shuck and wildly toss them on the floor with their dead peanut-shell brothers — stuck in an area surrounded by dairy farms.

Now I am not here to tell no tales, you know I’d rather be suspended naked from the front of a freight train than to bulls**t you. (That should be your first warning.) But I have been to places on Earth, where from every direction one is treated to the bouquet of soil and cow dung. A lawyer once told me that motels in one town, plunked down in dairy country, are equipped with fly swatters on the wall. One can’t escape the flies nor the rich combination of ammonia and hydrogen sulfide wafting from the dairy factories no matter where you go.

Still, you stop at the local DQ for a Dude and Fries combo or wait to be seated uptown at the Dos Hernandez Fine Mexican Food. By the way, the Hernandez brothers worked their way from dairy hands to restaurant owners. One would think a person could get accustomed to the smell of bovine waste and its by products after a few years, the time the brothers spent in the dairies. But no, the Hernandez brothers became four watery eyes and sold the restaurant to a nice couple fresh from Karachi. Coincidentally, both old and new owners discovered that they had shared the same cheating-ass coyote and the same border blind spot to join the American work force. Then the boys said ¡adios! and away they rode. So, now on the flip side of the Dos Hernandez Fine Mexican Food menu can one order all those Pakistani dishes once only seen in a Anthony Bourdain TV travel piece.

All of this, of course, ’cause people got to eat.

So now, in this age of instant communication, people tend to tell everyone how good –or bad — certain food or food celebrity might be (without ending in prepositions.) An example from Monday’s issue of The New York Times. “The Grey Lady” provided an online chat with its restaurant critic Pete Wells. Yes, it was the same Pete Wells who ignited a s**t storm when he savaged Guy Fieri’s new restaurant. The Wells piece on Guy’s American Kitchen and Bar In Times Square was undoubtedly entertaining as some food criticism goes these days. Perhaps Wells unleashed a can of rhetorical question whoop-ass on everything after the first word. One must realize though that the criticism was not penned by your average, run-of-the-mill mystery shopper reporting for his dinner. It’s The Freaking New York Times! Wells also had big, though light, loafers to fill when he replaced Frank Bruni in November 2011.

Bruni, now the first openly-gay Op-Ed writer for the Times was, himself, no rank amateur when he started visiting the fine, and sometimes crappy, dining establishment around “The City.” Bruni had previously covered the Gulf War for the Detroit Free Press and after stints at various Times desks, was named the newspaper’s Rome bureau chief. He remains a very talented writer.

Although Bruni tried to maintain a low profile when visiting dining establishments his writing was sometime larger than life. Julia Langbien, who has written for various dining publications, had a very unique take on Bruni’s critiques. Her introduction to The Bruni Digest:(Ed: Not safe for prudent individuals and definitely not safe for work!)

  “In which I sit on a dirt mound somewhere in Brooklyn with my ears pricked, waiting for New York Times head restaurant critic Frank Bruni, who I imagine to be a Venetian count in a huge ruffled collar, to dole out stars from the inside breast pocket of his brocaded chamber robe.”

Food inspires passion. I can still remember my Mama’s pigs-in-the-blanket, which I tried in every way possible to emulate but couldn’t because I don’t think you can replicate your mother’s love. I worked in a cafe for several years for a very sweet lady named Lynda. I learned only recently that Lynda had unexpectedly died. We were open only for the lunch crowd at the cafe, 11-2. As I mentioned here before, or not, I also was a secret shopper for Dairy Queen stores and on Saturdays I sold beer and would occasionally bar tend for Lynda at a local horse-racing track.

My bit part definitely wasn’t the big leagues but I certainly appreciate how difficult and, yes, how fun the food and beverage industry could be. Those who make it in the business work their butts off. But, lucky for them, people got to eat. Rest in peace Lynda.