Your existential taco is Way down the road

People are constantly searching for signs. Some say: “Show me a sign.” Others know what sign they are looking for such as “Men” and “Women.” They even stop for some periods of time waiting for a particular sign.

This is Dot Man. He strolls through the darkness to tell others when he believes it is safe to cross the street.

Dot Man keeps on truckin’ and truckin’ some more.

In fact, he keeps on keeping on until he gets smacked by Mr. Big Ol’ Hand.

Eventually, Dot Man returns and tells everyone all is safe to cross the street once again.

It’s enough to make one wonder: Why isn’t there a Dot Chicken?

 

The funny thing about Dot Man is that he is always walking in the same direction. That is a bit curious and seems as if it would be more than just a bit boring.

Perhaps Dot Man would enjoy walking down Commerce to Way.

Way seems as if it would be a nice place.

Ever been to Way? It’s a very tranquil place.

It isn’t full of confusion like its sister city Everywhicha Way.

Dot Man is trying to get away from Way. Or maybe he has lost his Way. As everyone knows, it happens sometimes.

One goes down one path, one goes the other. Then pretty soon, the one going the other finds this Way isn’t the right Way. Of course, there always are those who will say Dot Man was destined to go anyway but the right Way. Dot Man doesn’t care what others say though. He just keeps going into that gentle, or in some cases, not so gentle, night.

 

Finally, there are those who do not care which way we are going but, rather, how we got there and was ours an authentic trip. Authentic, here is used as in the case of existentialism.

Authentic is as authentic does.

It’s all your journey. It is all your taco. And if others don’t like it, you know what to tell them … Don’t you now?

What’s up? Nothing but the rent, where there is a rental

It’s time to let others do the writing this Friday. I am off to Dallas next week on a work-related trip. At least I will get to stay in a nice hotel. Not that it hasn’t been pleasant here where I have been temporarily staying. Hopefully, I will find somewhere to call home, as in a rental, when I return next weekend. Motels aren’t as cheap as they are portrayed, especially if you have to live in one. Hmmm, perhaps I will look tomorrow at once again putting up a PayPal widget for donations. Meanwhile, if you would like to donate just shoot me a line at eightfeetdeep and I will be happy to send you a mailing address. I will even send back a handwritten, autographed “thank you.” For now, here are some items you might find interesting. Or not.

Facebook: IPO? or IPo’ed?

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose and sometimes you just show up — and get rich as the queen’s chocolate jewels.

From the land of fabric-free entertainment

And the mortician reported it took him six hours to remove the smile from the deceased’s face.

Yes, our future looks really … screwed

Those who read these words of wit

No two-headed coins now, boys

Texas council candidates put their conservatism where their pocket lint is.

Why you never see fat astronauts

Gene, Tom, you want my salmon salad? How about a hand wipe?

Think I’ll Watch “All My Children”

This man certainly does need a break. Or maybe a date with Lorena Bobbitt.

Have a fun-der-ful weekend.

 

 

Is it “farewell” or just “later” for the Waffle House T-bone?

Goodbye T-bone.

One who knows me might think I was bidding final farewell to some ol’ high school buddy or one of any number of colorful characters I have come to know and/or befriend over the years. But no, I’m talking about steak. Or maybe not.

No, I am definitely talking about T-bone steak but my adieu might be a bit premature.

I speak of the madness of the Waffle House and its 2012 T-Bone Farewell Tour. The late-night choice of weary travelers and local drunks everywhere announced in January that their vaunted 10-ounce T-bone steak will be going away after a year-long farewell.

 “It has been a good run, this may be the final year for the Waffle House T-bone,” says Pat Warner, Waffle House vice president of marketing. “Say goodbye to an old friend and order one today, while you still can.”

But maybe you still can after you do your adioses.

 “We want to hear our customers’ reactions,” says Warner. “It may be that we will have multiple farewell tours; like a classic rock band.”

Ah, clever. Always leave yourself an out.

 “The T-bone steak debuted on the Waffle House menu in the early 1960s when a “Grill Man” at the first Waffle House restaurant in Avondale Estates, Ga., ran out of steak one night and replaced them with T-bone steaks he bought at a local grocery store. They have been on the menu ever since. It became a customer favorite, and now Waffle House is the world’s leading server of USDA Choice T-bone steaks,” according to a company news release.

The Wafflers are encouraging their customers to relive their favorite 10-ounce T-bone memories on Facebook, to which my first would be “Urrrrrrrrp!,” as in belch. I had a steak and egg last night at Waffle House. This was because it is right across the I-10 underpass from where I am staying. I stopped and looked at a young possum up close on the way back. It was playing possum then bared its teeth at me. Possum aside, I am trying to do some protein dieting but like everything else in my life, it seems to have jumped off the rails. I didn’t have a T-bone though.

I do have some T-bone memories at Waffle House though. Those times usually involved carousing or its aftermath.

Last night I watched the cook work his magic with the grill and the little pans. It takes no little amount of skill and coordination to turn out the meals when the place gets busy after the bars close. The waitress conveys the customer’s order to the cook in a language only the two of them know. “Two down, two up, medium well, grits on a stick.” No, I just made the grits on a stick up. But they ought to do that. Grits on a stick would be ten kinds of entertaining.

We all know that most chain restaurants and fast food places generally suck. Maybe it’s the good times I’ve had at Waffle Houses over the years — singing with Mexican sailors at 1 a.m. or pulling in for a cup of coffee at mid-afternoon to keep my friend, a waitress, Chris, company during slow periods. These are memories of 30 years or more of good times. But through it all most of the Waffle House folks have been and are salt of the earth that keep food consistently tasty over the years.

So if the ‘House is playing coy with its T-bone, so be it. They’ve been selling it for a dollar an ounce over the past few  years. That’s substantially less than what you pay in the supermarket and it’s cooked the way you want it. Goodbye T-bone? No, maybe just “Later.”

 

 

A government that governs. Now that’s a novel idea.

Is U.S. Speaker of the House John Boehner crying wolf? Screwing the pooch? Kicking the dog?

Whatever the Republican leader is doing it doesn’t appear to resemble governing. Once again The Boner is going to the well for a debt ceiling tangle, insisting that ceiling cannot be raised again without “spending cuts and reforms that exceed the amount of the debt limit increase.” This means, of course, that Bone wants to hold the U.S. government hostage until the Republicans get their way. Funny thing they are doing this now, only a month or two before the national political conventions which will do nothing of note except name Mitt Romney’s GOP running mate.

Hey, we get the Republican party wants a government that does nothing. But we’ve got a totally dysfunctional Congress that will not allow the government to even DO NOTHING! It’s ridiculous.

The president started off his term in office reaching out to the opposing party. The other side didn’t want it mainly because their backers don’t want a black president. That’s pretty much the bottom line. Obama isn’t Socialist. He wouldn’t make a pimple on Karl Marx’s ass! The problem is a bunch of rich, racist people are pissed a black person — even one who is halfway white — would dare take the office of president. That’s the real rub.

Yeah, you can say all this culture war and religious war bulls**t. But it doesn’t mean a thing if you ain’t got that swing. And you know what that swing is all you Obama haters? It’s swinging on the end of a rope on a tree like the lynchings of old, the only solution for uppity Niggers, right? Sorry about the “N” word but I had to use it to make a point.

If New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie and Newark Mayor Cory Booker can make fun of themselves, together for a little spoof video, then why can’t politicians who are supposed to be elected for the common good do some good? Because they are all political putzes. Hacks.

Instead of just electing or re-electing a president, how about electing a president and Congress all of the same party and in overwhelming numbers. That way, maybe something can get done despite the stupidity of those who see government as evil. Actually, with some luck maybe the electorate will do so. Obama and a full Democratic House would be one hell of a birthday present, my birthday being in late October. We’ve got to do something. Our country is in bad need of a government that governs.

 

 

 

 

 

What do you do with a fired ship captain?

“What will we do with a drunken sailor?” asks the old sea shanty.

Well, if it is the ship’s captain and he or she perpetrates some incident or even soberly otherwise screws up those COs may find themselves tossed out on their hallowed keisters.

Near record numbers of Navy skippers have been relieved of duty in the past couple of years for a variety of infractions ranging from poor leadership to alcohol-related incidents. Firing of the very top dogs in business causes hardly a blink of the eye these days in the civilian world. But bosses of multimillion and even billion-dollar Navy ships and commands are something totally different. When leaders of ships with city-like populations such as aircraft carriers — considered more war platform these days than just ships — are stripped of their command it is indeed a totally different prospect.

Just as recently as Tuesday the commanding officer of the destroyer USS The Sullivans was relieved of command “due to loss of confidence in his ability to command,” said a press release on behalf of Vice Adm. Frank C. Pandolfe, U.S. Sixth Fleet Commander. “Cmdr. Derick Armstrong was relieved as a result of an unprofessional command climate that was contrary to good order and discipline.”

Armstrong was the 10th commanding officer sacked by the Navy so far this year and the third on The Sullivans to be fired in the past two years, according to Navy Times.

It is often the case that specifics are vague when the military announces any kind of infraction to the public of its personnel. But some of the circumstances brought to light through the media indicate the senior officers and top enlisted relieved of duty were replaced for a variety of transgressions.

In 2011, the widely-publicized firing of a female ship captain took place in which that CO was replaced for dereliction of duty, unprofessional conduct, favoritism and hostile command climate.

Cdr. Etta Jones of the amphibious transport dock vessel USS Ponce was relieved for cause after the U.S. Fleet Forces Command inspector general hotline received an anonymous call in April 2011 alleging “administrative and operational misconduct that included creating a hostile command climate, preferential treatment, safety and navigation violations, and manipulating reports/withholding facts to preclude outside investigation,” according to a blog post by the Fleet Forces Commander Adm. J.C. Harvey.

The Ponce was on station off Libya as part of the NATO effort to prevent weapons and “other material” from flowing into that country after the uprisings that eventually led to the overthrow of dictator Col. Mummar Gaddafi. An Admiral’s Mast held by then-Sixth Fleet Commander Vice Adm. Harry Harris found:

 “Cdr. Jones failed to report and take proper corrective action for hazing and for poor judgment during a security drill where she endangered two Sailors with a loaded (Condition 1) weapon,” according to Forces Commander Harvey. “Upon conclusion of the Mast, Vice Adm. Harris relieved Cdr. Jones of her command due to loss of confidence stemming from the aforementioned Mast, unprofessional conduct, rendering her chain-of-command largely ineffective by marginalizing her senior leaders and displaying blatant favoritism to select junior officers, and for cultivating a hostile work environment permeated by verbal abuse, fear, and intimidation.”

The “Condition 1” weapon referred to an incident during a ship’s security alert in which Jones allegedly waved around a loaded 9-mm pistol with its safety off while in the same room as two sailors before handing the firearm over. Security alerts are either drills or actual breaches in shipboard security when a ship is in port. I took part in security alerts as a petty officer of the watch on a destroyer. When a security alert was sounded I would be tasked with standing watch over the ship’s brow with a a cocked .45-caliber pistol. Since these were meant for threats to any potential nuclear weapons we had on board — which we always could “never confirm nor deny” — my orders were to shoot anyone who threatened our security. I never did even though we did have one actual “breach” which turned out to be a sleeping Philippine shipyard worker. Knowing the Navy in those post-Vietnam days, if I had fired my .45, I probably  would have been toast even if I was in the right.

In the case of Jones, the former amphibious ship captain was allowed by a three-captain panel to retire at one grade below, as a commander.

A debate has been touched off as a result of the high number of skippers, XOs and senior enlisteds being fired. Some say it is a crisis in leadership. One very frank and illuminating paper penned by a captain for the Navy War College suggests the cause is a complex set of cultural factors which include the power itself that is given to a Navy commanding officer. Although these factors cited by Capt. Mark Light in the war college paper includes a prevalence of sexual harassment and inappropriate relationships in the transgressions committed by COs, the causes interestingly enough have nothing to do with mixed male-female crews on ships.

Some unfamiliar with the Navy or its intricacies may either shrug or mouth defensively at why the numbers of CO sackings are news. The reasons are that the Navy has traditionally and continues to place an enormous responsibility on commanding officers. Harking back to an aircraft carrier — the USS Enterprise skipper was fired for showing his crew raunchy videos while serving as XO — the captain has the ability to launch attacks that can decimate many nations. Traditionally, and no sacrilege meant here, the captain is God as far as a ship and its crew is concerned.

News of such actions that get captains fired and the news that they are indeed “out of here” are as well buoyed by the prevalence of the Internet and social media these days. This was something not seen not so many years ago but rather were whispered about by crews or from ship-to-ship.

Even the greatest “dirt bag” on board knows that while a slack captain might be fun, one wants the Old Man — do they call women captains the “Old Woman” (and survive) these days? — to be an adult. As is the case in any job, there is play time and there is serious time.