Author: Dick

It’s funny how criminals in the movies are so often portrayed as being cunning and ingenuous. So it is unlikely that anyone will ever make a movie about Charles Victor Thompson.

Thompson — who escaped from jail in Houston while awaiting a return to Death Row in Livingston, Texas — was captured Sunday by police in Shreveport, La. The cops found Chuckie drunk and on the pay phone. Well, I mean where else would you find an escaped murderer, right?

Police said he had help walking out of jail in street clothes but beyond that are no particular signs of ingenuity.

“There’s no way Chuck had the brain power for this,” John Donaghy, whose sister Thompson was convicted of killing, told the Associated Press. “He’s not the sharpest pencil in the box.”

Maybe he just wanted to get drunk one last time. And since he is on Death Row in Texas it likely will be his last time to tie one on.

Q: If you sawed rapper 50 Cent in half would you have Two Quarters?

“Well, they kick you round so much when you’re not a star
Make you play all night just for a pittance or a token … ” Al Stewart

So often I hear people decry celebrity worship in society. “It’s a bad thing,” many say. “It’s ruinous,” say others. “I’m going to have a shot of Hornitos,” say still others. Hmmm.

Having worked in the news media in my (current) past life, I know many reporters who would rather cover an accident involving dead poultry than having to work on something that perpetuates the celebrity frenzy. (I don’t remember ever having covered a fatal poultry accident unless you count a tornado that destroyed a chicken house in East Texas. The damndest thing that tornado, it missed two mobile homes and hit the chicken house. My boss said the fact that it missed hitting a mobile home was reason enough to send my story out on the Associated Press wire).

But the cold, hard truth is that someone out there can’t get enough news about celebrities. Each time Paris has sex, Britney has a pimple, Jen kisses someone, or a rap star gets shot, it’s a whole big thing.

I know that not every actor, singer, sports star, and so forth gets the coverage that the aforementioned do — unless they get arrested or in a fight. But still I wonder who among the stars of bygone days would have been the latest gossip had even half the communication outlets were available back then? For instance: Percy Kilbride and Marjorie Main (photo above), the stars of the old Ma & Pa Kettle movies. I just picked them at random but it’s actually kind of a good choice for pondering such a topic.

Main, according to a Wikipedia entry, had a near pathological fear of germs although it did not interfere with her career. An Academy Award nominee for her Ma Kettle role, (kind of an amazing factoid by itself) Main also lived openly as a lesbian with actress Spring Byington.

As for Kilbride, I have no idea what kind of dirt he might have brought to satisfy the hunger for celebrity gossip. He was a character actor who played country hicks such as Pa Kettle even though he was raised in San Francisco. Kilbride died after being struck by a car in 1964. No matter whether you are a popular or an obscure actor or performer, getting run over by a car usually gets you some some ink.

I also know an interest and worship in celebrity is nothing new. I just think it’s taken to the extreme today. So how about it, did you hear about Britney’s new pimple? Did Jen kiss anyone today? Did Paris have sex? Is there a new video of it? Come on now, people want to know.

Being charged by dogs has become a bit more common on my daily walks. This is yet another sign of life after Hurricane Rita.

Just today a total of some five dogs in three separate incidents made a barking run for me. One was outside to pee and probably would have made mincemeat of the skin surrounding my ankles. The other four — left homeless by the storm — were larger and thus were more of an immediate concern. Fortunately I was able to shoo all four off with threatening gestures.

I suppose some circumstances exist why people with pets did not provide shelter for their animals. I just can’t think of any reasons right now. Sharing space with a pet is a big responsibility, or should be approached that way at least. I suppose some erroneously thought they would evacuate and return right after the storm passed. But I think having a pet requires a little foresight to ensure that pet’s security — the same as with any other family member. And I guess some packed their foresight in the same box as flashlight batteries when they ran from the storm.

Perhaps this year is going to be remembered as “the year of the hurricane” in the U.S. Maybe a subtitle will be “the year of the stray.” And it’s unfortunate.