Author: Dick

And wondering whatever happened to The Bangles?

(With apologies to Blackie Sherrod)

A Good Hair day and the chief justice.

First Tom DeLay gets the judge in his case removed because the judge donated to the Democratic Party. Today Ronnie Earle, the Democratic Travis County D.A., gets the judge that removed that judge removed because the second judge donated to the Republican Party. And who is the judge who will pick a judge to try poor Tom DeLay?

“Because of the appearance of yet another partisan conflict, Judge B.B. Schraub today punted DeLay’s recusal issue to Republican Chief Justice Wallace Jefferson, who shared a treasurer and fundraiser with DeLay’s Texans for a Republican Majority PAC (TRMPAC) during the disputed 2002 election cycle,” said Craig McDonald, director of Texans for Public Justice. “One of the two top donors to Chief Justice Wallace’s campaign in 2002 was the Republican National State Elections Committee, which allegedly laundered $190,000 for DeLay’s TRMPAC ­the very transaction at issue in DeLay’s trial.”

Stop this danged ride. It’s a-making me too dadblamed dizzy!

McDonald said DeLay’s “judicial-recusal circus went the limit today.” The former House Majority Leader needs to stop what McDonald calls a “farcical process” and allow the case to be heard by the next judge in rotation for Travis County criminal docket. Awww, now that would be no fun. And shouldn’t we have some fun? Justice prevailing in this case is certainly no slam dunk so why not enjoy the sideshow? Live a little. Wear funny hats.

Avian flu. A virus most fowl?
Writer Amy Ephron asks today in Huff Po if the media is checking the science behind the Great Pandemic Scare. It is something I would also like to know.

I am neither a doctor nor do I play one on TV, so forgive me for not knowing whether President Bush and the media need be scaring the bejesus out of the public right now about a bird flu pandemic. The World Health Organization’s FAQ page on avian flu is probably the best explainer I have seen so far of the flu’s seriousness and its ability to develop into a pandemic. But it does not seem to make a case that stealthy mallard ducks are just waiting quietly by the pond, ready to kill us at the drop of a bread crumb. I also can’t help but be a little skeptical over GW’s obsessive pandemic preparedness frenzy. Here are some reasons for my skepticism:

1. When the going gets tough, the tough changes the subject. If Frank Sinatra was still alive he might be singing for GW Bush and associates: “It was a very bad year.” Sheehan. Katrina. Plamegate. Brownie. Harriet. Iraq. Plamegate. Iraq. Plamegate. Take your pick. We all are sophisticated enough to know that politicians look for every chance they can to get the upper PR hand. And one way to do that is to set a new agenda.

2. Donald Rumsfeld has a great financial stake in the company that makes Tamiflu. Fortune magazine says Rumsfeld served as Gilead (Research)’s chairman from 1997 until he joined the Bush administration in 2001, and he still holds a Gilead stake valued at between $5 million and $25 million, according to federal financial disclosures filed by Rumsfeld.

3. It just so happens that more flu vaccine can be produced only if we stop those pesky trial lawyers and their lawsuits. A Bush tort reform jihad appears at an opportune moment.

So I would really like to know whether I should “go Howard,” (as in Howard Hughes)and keep myself as far away from humanity, chickens, ducks, geese, and other disease-carrying sources as is possible. Or are we getting a little bit of the business here? I’m sure the answer lies somewhere there in the spectrum. But it would be nice to know a little bit more about whether all the pandemic talk and spend hoopla is justified.

In Texas you just can’t have too many guns or missiles.

One day, or so I figure, it is going to be cool enough for me to go hiking up the road in the Big Thicket National Preserve. However, my hiking options in the Thicket may be somewhat more limited than earlier this year when a friend and I hiked there.

I talked to someone with the National Park Service at the preserve’s visitor center this afternoon who told me that only three trails are open right now because of damage from Hurricane Rita. This park employee told me that an astonishing 2 million trees were knocked down or blown over in the 97,000-acre preserve during the storm. I wonder if she, the park service person, could hear my jaw dropping when she told me that?

But if I don’t hike in the Big Thicket — where three of the nation’s ecosystems converge — I will be hiking elsewhere with the cooler weather. And I will want a drink of water. So I went looking today for a new canteen.

I tried Gander Mountain. They did have some fancy ones (to me at least) but I decided I just want something to keep my water cold rather than fancy. So I visited the GI Surplus store. I hit paydirt there, buying a Swedish Army canteen for less than 6 bucks. Why a Swedish Army canteen? Well, it was a metal canteen. And it was less than 6 bucks.

GI Surplus stores have always fascinated me. You would think I would have long ago been over them after four years in the Navy. But I still like GI Surplus. There is just so much, how can I say this, crap to be found in such stores. Since some of the merchandise is actually GI or military surplus, it is sometimes good crap as opposed to bad crap. But just as with real military issue, you never know what you’ll get.

I very much like the local GI Surplus store on Hwy. 90 in Beaumont because it also has weird surplus crap outside of the store. As you can see in the top photo they are ready for an air attack with a gun and missiles to protect them. And in the very unlikely event that the terrorist bastards try to attack the GI Surplus store by boat — from the highway — then they will run into the big old mine above. No doubt I will sleep soundly tonight knowing I have a good Swedish canteen and that the GI Surplus store is safe from its enemies.

“And she said, ‘How are you Harry?’ I said, ‘How are you Sue?'”
Where is Harry Chapin when you need him? Dead I suppose. And who is Sue and why is she asking about Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid? Weird. Really “wacky,” as George Bush the 41st might say.

Reid got the Republicans’ nose out of joint this afternoon when he invoked a closed session of the Senate. He apparently wanted to change the news agenda from “Plamegate” to “Alito” back to “Plamegate.” I think it was a pretty clever trick. But most of all, I think it genuinely pissed off Senate Majority Leader Sen. Dr. Bill “Count Your Stock Options” Frist.

The Senate is supposed to be genteel. The House is where all the hooligans are supposed to reside and where members flail each other with canes. So I’m glad to see Harry shaking things up in the Senate. I would like to see a real brouhaha erupt there. Maybe Kay Bailey Hutchison and H.R. Clinton would bitch slap each other. I’d also like to see Chuck Hagel beat the living shit out of Rick Santorum. Or maybe Patty Murray beat the living shit out of Rick Santorum. Hell, anyone beating the shit out of Rick Santorum would clearly make my day. Get out all that angst. Let your real feelings fly. Our Senate probably would be more constructive if its members acted like people.

Still, I doubt Harry Reid will ever drive a taxi. Thus, he will likely be getting few tips nor will he be getting stoned.