Author: Dick

Yikes!!!

I thought I would let readers tag along for an exciting afternoon of running errands with eight feet deep. I don’t know where this bus was headed. Well, I do know or strongly suspect it was going to Interstate 10. Whether it went east or west after that I don’t know. I decided at a red light to snap a picture of the bus. I can’t imagine what the bus driver might have thought. He probably said: “That guy has way too much time on his hands.”

After lunch at Rio Rita’s, I stopped at Pipkin Park which is next to the Port of Beaumont and decided to take a photo of this dude. I really should have written his name down. Now I have to look on the Internet to see if I can figure out the guy in the statue. Well, I couldn’t find it. Sorry. Let’s just call him Oscar for right now. Oscar seems like a good name for a statue.

This is where discriminating exotic dancers go for their get-ups and get karate lessons while they are at it. I didn’t get out. I just thought it was an interesting combination of businesses.

I went to the mall but didn’t go inside. I figured I would never get anything done wandering around Books-a-Million or some such. Check out the clouds though. It came a hellacious rain and thunderstorm. A “frog-strangler” as we call such a weather event in these parts.

So now I am back at home. That’s my exciting Friday afternoon. It usually isn’t as exciting as this. So you all were indeed lucky to be with me on one of the more eventful days of my alleged life.

Well, I must be going. I think I need to clip my toenails or something. No I guess I’ll wait. I don’t believe I can tolerate that much excitement in one day.

When you’re number two you just don’t give a damn

Alas fair giant dalmatian-spotted fire hydrant in downtown Beaumont, Texas, I hardly knew you as the world’s largest. Today you are second largest. But you are the only giant dalmatian-spotted fire hydrant in town, so that makes you our giant dalmatian-spotted fire hydrant.

I really have a great appreciation for the big hydrant. Of course, I was a firefighter back in my college days. But I also appreciate the whimsy that such a structure inspires. I don’t even mind that it’s only the world’s second-largest fire hydrant.

Beaumont became home to what was the world’s largest hydrant in 1999 when Disney re-released “101 Dalmatians.” Disney had the hydrant shipped to Beaumont where it was placed in front of the Fire Museum of Texas. Roadside America , those chroniclers of all civic bigness in this land, describes the festivities the day the hydrant was dedicated:

“The fire museum marching band kicked off with the movie’s signature song, “Cruella De Vil,” while 101 Texas firefighters danced around the hydrant, climaxing as it sprayed firefighters with water and confetti. They shielded themselves with Dalmatian-spotted umbrellas. Then the firefighter families headed off to a complimentary screening of the film.”

The 24-foot hydrant’s reign as the world’s largest came to an end in 2001 when a 29 1/2-foot hydrant was built in Elm Creek, Manitoba. Damn Canadians! But it is okay with me to have the second-largest in the world, at least for now. In the meantime I will be thinking about how we might elevate the hydrant another six feet so it can rightfully reclaim its title as world’s largest. I just hope the folks who built the world’s tallest building in Taipei don’t decide to erect a hydrant to beat the Canadians. That could set off a full-scale hydrant race and I don’t think anyone wants that.

We split and fought a bit but we’re still family

Another senseless act by terrorists. This time killing and injuring those in London. This is just totally insane. These extremists who pervert Islam to suit their needs are willing to die for their cause, whatever it may be. They apparently have been influenced by some very good bullshit artists. America has some of the best bullshit artists on the planet. It’s time for them to come to the aid of their country and their world and put the energy they use selling cars, soap or dog food to fighting terrorism.

It’s hard not to be angry and negative about such stupidity as the London bombings. But I shall do my best to refrain and give my best wishes for the folks of London. And I hope they catch the evil bastards responsible for the carnage.

Sometimes I find that the only way to get something out that is stuck inside your head is through brain surgery. Since that is a little extreme I shall try another option which is to coax that intruder out of my head by making it look so ridiculous that it will slink off in shame.

What is stuck inside my head is a song Bob Seger did about 25 years ago called “Fire Lake.” Particularly bothersome are these lyrics:

“You remember Uncle Joe
He was the one afraid to cut the cake … “

First of all, no I don’t remember Uncle Joe unless you’re talking about Uncle Joe Stalin who is pictured up above. And I don’t really remember him because I think he was dead by the time I burst into the atmosphere. Well, there is Uncle Joe Carson from the old TV sitcom “Petticoat Junction.” But he was a bachelor. And I am dangerously assuming from the song’s lyrics that this Uncle Joe is married because Seger goes on to sing:

“Who wants to tell poor Aunt Sarah
Joe’s run off to Fire Lake … “

Now I do have a friend named Sarah, but I am almost positive Seger is not talking about her because she isn’t married and certainly not to anyone named Uncle Joe. I don’t even know if she is an aunt.

Perhaps most mysterious is that this Uncle Joe whom Seger expects me to remember is afraid to cut the cake. Why? Will it explode into a great fireball and consume the room? Or maybe the cake is for someone else and Uncle Joe fears an ass-whupping if he cuts it before the other person has a chance to cut it? He might be talking about a toilet cake. I’d be afraid to cut one of those under certain circumstances.

The whole song seems to be about death, according to Wikipedia :

“In Christian theology (and Biblical imagery), the lake of fire is a place of perpetual torment (see Revelation 20:14, 21:8). In popular culture, the term “Fire Lake” has been used to indicate reaching the end of the line or death.”

Wow. Maybe Uncle Joe was afraid he would choke on the cake and die. That makes a little more sense. But I still don’t remember Uncle Joe. Sorry Bob.

Pretty cool house in the neighborhood

Blogger was having some issues with its new Blogger Image feature. Since Sunday I was unable to post photos from my computer and most of the time was unable to post from the Web. But I found out on Blogger Forum this morning that I was not alone. After testing as well as just now receiving two e-mails replying to my two e-mails to Blogger about my problems, the issue appears fixed.

This did get me to try out yet another pic site, Buzznet, on which you can upload pictures then copy html code to post to your blog that gets the photo there. I kind of like that. But the relatively new Blogger Image is just the best because it’s like one-stop shopping. I had to visit Flickr and FotoFlix while Blogger Image was down. I liked Hello from Picasa, but it apparently doesn’t do Windows NT. Hey, that sounds like I know something about computers! I know how to turn them on and off. Those are my strong points.

I thought that to celebrate the return of Blogger Image to its old self I would share a pic of the McFaddin-Ward home, which is about six blocks down the street. I lived closer to it when I lived in Beaumont before. I still haven’t visited the home, which is kind of a museum to old rich white folks during the time the Spindletop gusher blew in across town more than 100 years ago and started the nation’s modern oil industry. Maybe we can start a collective farm on the grounds. Just kidding!