Blurring state lines

Jessica Simpson: Oblivious or oblividious? Posted by Hello

As I drive along the highways of this busy metropolis, I often see other drivers who are living in a whole different state. I’m not talking about someone who is from out of state, which in my case is Texas (Motto: We don’t allow no butt-shaking cheerleaders). No, I’m talking about those who live in their own little mental state or rather mental “states.”

Two such states exist — Oblivion (Motto: You talkin’ to me?) as well as a state, I will just call “Oblividion.” (Motto: Huh?) Oblividion (pronounced ob-lie-vi-dion–accent it wherever you like because if it is a real word then I can’t find it anywhere)is where residents of Oblivion go because of idiocy issues. The word comes from the conjunction of the words oblivion and idiot.

Now oblivion is not such a bad state to visit, but you have to question those who choose to homestead there. Jessica Simpson is a good example. Although she is a Texan, Jessica seems at least from her publicity and personae to be taking up residency in Oblivion. However, if Jessica really is as dumb as she acts and portrays herself in the public eye, then one might make a case that perhaps she packed up and moved her double-wide to Oblividion.

It is way too easy to cross the border into Oblividion. A very good example appeared right before my very eyes just a short while ago as I was trying to exit Sam’s Club. I was waiting for the cars to pass in the two lanes in front of me so I could get across and into the turning lane. All was going well until this ***hole in a white pickup shifted into gears and quickly sped across the state line from Oblivion to Oblividion. However, he was only figuratively speeding. In realty he was just taking his sweet time “do-dah-yep-yep-yep” while I was trying to get across the two traffic lanes before the next onslaught of cars.

I finally made it to the turning lane okay. No help from the guy from the state of Oblividion. It makes you wonder what people do for a living. I hope this person isn’t on a bomb squad or something. Not that it wouldn’t pay to take things slow when dismantling or removing explosives. But performing such work while living in Oblividion might prove to be somewhat, fatal maybe?

So the next time you decide to book a trip to Oblivion, have fun there. It can be a fun place. Just make sure that you aren’t shanghaied across the state line. You might find yourself sharing the block with Jessica Simpson. And some ***hole in a white pickup truck.

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