Willie: My heroes have always been funny

It seems so seldom that I laugh these days. I need to laugh more. Maybe I should move to Colorado.

A week or so ago Willie Nelson did make me laugh. Willie was a guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live on ABC. Kimmel’s show was in Austin all that week for South by Southwest in Austin, the annual conference and festival to make more people pay attention to Austin. Willie’s joke:

 “A guy is coming out of an antique clock shop with a new grandfather clock as a drunk comes stumbling down the street. The guy bumps into the drunk, falls down, and busts the clock all to pieces. The guy gets up and says to the drunk, “Why don’t you watch where you’re going?” The drunk says,”Why don’t you wear a wristwatch like everyone else?”

I laughed. Shotgun Willie and Jimmy even sang a funny duet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3SwxmWjlP0#t=23

In recent times I noticed Willie’s voice struggling. That’s nothing. Some would say he always struggled with his voice. But I never felt that way. His voice sounded masterful on this performance, like it did when I saw him live 45 years ago, and again 35 years ago. I don’t know why his voice was so much smoother, especially now that he’s in his 80s. Maybe he smoked a big fat hooter prior to coming on.

Whatever the reason, I thank Jimmy and my man, Willie, for an entertaining few moments.

Today’s mystery guest is ______?

It is time for NAME THIS GLOBAL FIGURE. We (me) provide a photo of some random person who might only be known in some obscure nation (no hard feelings that nation) and you guess who it is. The answer will be provided somewhere down the page. Are you ready?

20120716_kolinda-grabar-kitarovic_rdax_375x250

This lovely is not only attractive but is also a highly-educated former diplomat who speaks four languages fluently and has a basic understanding of three more. She is now:

A: Starring in an upcoming Ethan and Joel Coen adaptation of “Gone With The Wind.

B: Appearing in this year’s “Sports Illustrated” Swimsuit edition.

C: President of Croatia.

D. The first woman to win the Professional Bullriders Assn. title.

 

Okay. I know which one I would pick, mostly because I made up the quiz and also know the answer. That is said to be a good combination as such.

I know this will really blow your socks off. But she is “C. The President of Croatia.” Wait, you mean there is really a Croatia? Why yes, my stupid friend. Croatia is in Central and Southeastern Europe. It was a part of Yugoslavia until declaring independence in 1991. Pictured is Kolinda Grabar-Kitarović, who took office one week ago as the first woman president of Croatia.

Grabar-Kitarović  holds a master’s degree in international relations from the Faculty of Political Science, University of Zagreb. She was also a Fulbright Scholar at the George Washington University, a Luksic Fellow at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government and a visiting scholar at the Paul H. Nitze School of Advanced International Studies (SAIS) of the Johns Hopkins University in Washington, D.C.

The president held varied positions in government including Croatian ambassador to the U.S. and Assistant Secretary General for Public Diplomacy of NATO.

And yes she speaks Croatian, English, Spanish and Portuguese fluently and has a basic understanding of German, French and Italian.

She likes to drag race, skydive with commandos and speak while huffing helium in her spare time. I just made that up.

Madame President, 46, is married and has two kids. Sorry guys who wanted to marry a president who likes to drag race.

 

A note or two

It is barbaric to be restricted to a set number of gigs of data. I have to find something better than Verizon. That’s what I have said for years, but hell’s bells. So I am restricted and close to running over and hopefully no more than $15 in overage. Thus, I probably will write little this week. It’s always something …

Speaking of barbaric, I hate to even compare Verizon to ISIS. That is, at least until the day Verizon burns an overdue customer to death. What ISIS did to the Jordanian fighter pilot is something beyond beyond barbaric. Whatever it might be called. One wonders what revenge would even come close for those ignorant s**theads. Perhaps have them continually watch porn movies. They will be surrounded by the alleged “72 virgins” but the perps will only watch, and watch and watch until they completely lose their minds.  Hey King H old buddy, if you read this and think it a viable punishment, perhaps you could give me a $30,000 weekend like your old rotund one friend Gov. Christie.

On second thought maybe madmen of ISIS may spend the rest of their lives on the phone dealing companies like Verizon.

Damn the computers, full something something

Sometimes it pays — not well mind you — to have a backup computer of some short. That is precisely what is in use here. A tablet plucked with a finger or two. My laptop is on its way back to HP for repair. They did promise an extra year on the warranty. I don’t know if that is good or bad. The half-assed keyboard is charging right now, so until it is up end at ’em it is a one-finger boogie. Want to guess which finger?

I got a walking boot yesterday @ the VA in Houston. It is to take pressure off my infected toe jam football. I mean toe. The infection seems as if it’s healing. That’s good. Infected ulcers on diabetic toes aren’t good. Luckily, the bone is not infected, according to a X-ray. That seems to be a good sign that amputation isn’t on the horizon. Don’t want that. No sir.

So I might churn out a post even less frequently than normal. What ever one might consider normal, other than a city in Illinois.

Peace mi amigo!

More cost for hotel guests?

The Holiday season is supposed to be one of giving although we should be aware of those out there who are more interested in taking or keeping things for themselves. No, I’m not talking about street corner thugs or those who try every way possible to separate us from our dollars such as through fraudulent means.

Instead, I mean corporate clowns. Those corporations that depend on their customers for their well-being often seek every damned last penny they can from their customers. For example, let’s take the hospitality business.

Now when you think of crooked hotels and motels one might imagine the so-called “flea bag motel.” In reality, though, the less-expensive motels may be perfectly on the up-and-up relatively speaking, while it is your more expensive places that are the real money grubbers.

For instance, the huge Marriott Worldwide has asked the FCC to allow hotel owners to block Wi-fi hotspots inside their building, this according to Infoworld.com. The federal agency hit the company with a $600,000 fine for doing just what Marriott is now asking permission to do.

The fine came after guests and exhibitors were charged up to $1,000 per device to access Marriottt’s Wi-fi or face signal blocking at the company’s Gaylor Opryland Hotel and Convention Center in Nashville.

Companies such as Microsoft and Google urged the FCC to reject Marriott’s petition to the FCC which would allow signal blocking of Wi-Fi hotspots other than those belonging to hotels.

Having stayed in a number of hotels and motels for extended periods of time that hotels such as Marriott present much in the way of creature comfort. But Marriott and many other chains try their best at bleeding “blood from turnips.” Even separate hotels within within the Marriott sphere offer different amenities and at drastically different rates.

Just checking rates in nearby Houston, Marriott Hotel’s show those ranging from the high $70s per night to upward of $200 per night. There are differences as well in what one might experience in breakfasts or happy hours.

What guests do see pretty uniformly in Marriotts and other hotels are extras that have outrageous costs. I hesitate to lump all hotels together, I shouldn’t, but what the hell. My most recent hotel stay was with a Hilton affiliate. At least its breakfast was free and made to order. Happy hour also featured free booze for a couple of hours and not just beer and wine, but various house liquor as well.But the restaurant had a limited menu and was more than I wanted to pay. If one was in need of a little nighttime snack while watching the Cowboys get beat by Washington, they should have bought it somewhere else. If you wanted a bag of chips there you would pay $5 a package.

Oh and back to Wi-fi. Paying for internet service at the Marriott hotels in Houston run from $7 to $17.

One more point about internet service at hotels. My service through Verizon — I never thought I’d say this — is better and more reliable than what one may find through the hotel itself.

So I give you this early warning. Hopefully, the FCC will stay on the side of the consumer and reject the Marriott petition. Nickle and diming is certainly not what it once was. Good luck to all you travelers come the new year. Ho Ho Ho, Merrrry Christmas.