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My name is Suh! How do you do? Hi Mr. Suh, are you wearing a Kevlar cup?

A mind-numbing day has it been. Anytime that I must pay more than $700 to repair my 20th century automobile I must classify the day as something or the other. But alas, I finally have my elderly truck back in my loving arms, so …

It might be too late to discuss something that happened on Thanksgiving but here goes. Did you see Detroit Lions tackle Ndamukong Suh kick Houston Texans quarterback Matt Schaub in the nuts during the game on Thanksgiving? (Warning: Watching it could make one writhe in sympathy.)

Suh has the reputation now as being one of, if not the. dirtiest NFL players. All you have to do watch this one to get the — ooooh — drift.

But the NFL says they won’t suspend Suh, as they should, although they might fine him. I think what the most fitting punishment would be to tie up Mr. Suh in the middle of the field and have some of the league’s best kickers take turns whacking him in the privates. Well, that would be a little rough, plus he already has enough punishment playing for Detroit.

Enough of that. On to my thoughts about how Houston played. Well, the Texans played good enough to win in overtime. But wait, didn’t we see that in their victory over Jacksonville?

It definitely shows another side to Houston when they come back to win in overtime. But methinks that maybe the Texans shouldn’t have been stuck in the same situation being down. Plus, the Texans have had Red Zone trouble since Wide Track was a pup. (Okay, only those from a certain area might be familiar with that one.)

Next up for Houston, Tennessee. We hate the Titans. Why Texans? Because we once had a little team called the Oilers and this vile, vile man named Bud took our beloved Oilers to Tennessee. Bud will forever remain vile of the vilest. We can have no OT. Only beat the crap out of the Titans.

If you come back sometime later, you might just find how I really feel!

 

 

 

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Hey coach, stay away from Notre Dame!

Not much to talk about today. It’s been a day off that feels as if “off” wasn’t anywhere near. Therefore, a few notes about football.

Yes, football. The Texans came close to getting their second loss of the season playing the one-win Jacksonville Jaguars. The Texans stayed down then came back only to win in the stupid overtime. I don’t care much for the present-day overtime rules in pro or college or high school football. Why not just stop and let all the players dance a boogaloo or something. I still don’t care much for football players dancing, especially when they dance for doing something routine that is their job, say for making a tackle or sacking a quarterback. Houston finally won but goldarn it, the Texans should have wasted Jacksonville.

I also don’t care much for receivers who go apeshit when they drop a pass and start pointing at the defensive back so the Zebra will notice and possibly call interference. Most of the time, it just makes the players look as if they are a bunch of whiners, not to mention bald-face liars.

Likewise, I don’t think players should pour a bucket of Gatorade on the coach when the team wins a big game. Isn’t that what the teams are there to accomplish, winning the game? Let’s try a little inverse. Suppose the team loses the big one. What ‘say the team should pour a bucket full of hydrochloric acid on the coach?  Or perhaps throw a vat full o’ hot lead on Coach as did Quasimodo spilled molten lead on those from the cheap seats in the Victor Hugo classic “The Hunchback of Notre Dame?” Fun fact: Hunchback was originally a fullback.

One thing I will say about the last Texans game I watched. That is Andre Johnson is beginning to look like he is about 10 years younger. Man, if that cat had real teams to play with and could have had quarterbacks standing upright over all these years to throw him passes, there would be no telling what the Texans could have done. But that didn’t happen so, almost 10 years later, the team is clicking. Let’s just hope it keeps on truckin’.

Well, that is all I have to say about that, friends. So enjoy.

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No storms among the calm

Howdy, from the public library. The respite from my personal computer — my work-furnished computer and Blackberry are off-limits for most personal uses — has been on the calming side. The exception to my calm are those times when a surging urge to write and publish something seizes the inner-workings of my noggin. The “Binders of women” comment by Mittens Romney in this week’s presidential debate comes to mind.I am hoping though that my new laptop shows up sometime within the next week since I am on annual leave until the end of the month. I mean, a man can only endure so much calm.

I have been following news the best I can by reading a newspaper here and there. Then, there is television. The cable news outlets just want to draw out the horse race in the election for as long as possible. A little entertainment comes elsewhere here and there but the closer the election day draws near the more the entertainment aspect becomes a rarity.

Of course, I’ve also watched football. I was disappointed in the 42-24 loss to Green Bay by the Houston Texans on Sunday night. The Texans clearly were outplayed by the Packers. And even though Houston had been unbeaten up to that point I didn’t believe they could go on forever without a “L.” In fact, I fully expect Baltimore to beat Houston this week although a regular-season-ending injury to Ravens beast of a linebacker Ray Lewis could lessen the chance of a Baltimore win at Reliance Stadium. With that said, I still see the Texans making the playoffs and possibly facing Baltimore for the AFC crown, a repeat of the 2012 playoff game when the Ravens won 20-13. Lewis could be back for that game. It all depends on recovery from his torn tricep and the surgery to fix up his beast of a boo-boo.

It’s a beautiful fall day outside. It’s sunny and 78 degrees, according to the National Weather Service. The temp could fall to as low as 49 tonight, although I plan to be covered up and in dreamland when that happens. For now, I think I shall get into the outdoors and try to enjoy my first day of leave even though I have no plans to go anywhere, nor money to facilitate going anywhere. Same song, different verse.

 

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The refs really blew it. Not the real refs though.

It seems as if I was the only person in the country who didn’t see the controversial last play of the Monday Night Football. But that’s okay because fallout was in no short supply from the Seattle Seahawks win over Green Bay that maybe shouldn’t have been.

Here is a fairly simple explanation of what happened from an Associated Press piece published by The Washington Post. Except it really was not all that elementary my dear Watson, especially when explained by the likes of Sports Illustrated’s Peter King. Oh, and just to be perfectly perspicuous, that is NOT Peter King the Republican congressman from New York whom Reuter’s magnificent media writer Jack Shafer once referred to as “an exploding carbuncle masquerading as a member of Congress.”

High five? Yeah, high five! Photo by Belinda Hankins Miller, courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

 

If you somehow managed to miss the root of this controversy — so all-encompassing that even the President “tweeted” about it — it stems from a labor-management issue as us left-leaning, Red fellow travelers like to call it. Those of the evil rich NFL Owner Class locked out the regular referees and apparently replaced them with just about anyone who has worn a zebra-striped shirt. That is not so far from the mark if the statement by Mitch Mortaza is true. He is the founder and president of the Lingerie Football League. Yes, there is a LFL although I’ve yet to see a game and will probably need a condition of hyper insomnia before I ever watch such a spectacle. Nonetheless, Mortaza says some of the current NFL substitute referees had worked for the lingerie league but were allegedly let go because they didn’t make the cut. I have to wonder if the refs in that league also wear lingerie? I really don’t want to know the answer though.

Blown calls happen all the time in the NFL and even the most seasoned “Zebras” are not immune from making one. The fact is, however,  that these are substitute refs, “scabs” in the language of the older hard-line union members, whose train wreck of a call may have brought this whole debacle to a head. Oh, and speaking of millions, it was reported today that some $300 million in bets on the game changed hands. I don’t really want to repeat myself, but do you know what I could do with $300-freaking-million? People are pissing away $300 million that hinged on one incompetent call while who know how many others, myself among them, live week-to-week. What a world, huh Bubba?

Such are the type of calamities that make the conspiracy nuts who already think professional or even college games are fixed wonder if the “fix” was really in on this Monday night madness. So many amazing games with stunning turnarounds have been showcased on Monday night games that it is a target-rich environment for the conspiratorially-inclined.

And so, to paraphrase the immortal words of the ever-amazing Vice President Joe Biden, this was “a big f***ing deal.”  It was answered by the NFL by a confusing statement that basically said: “Yeah, the call sucked but so what?” So there we have it. Another football game. Another blown call.

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Great expectations in Houston realized: Part 1/16

So much to write about in the world and I think — football. Houston Texans football to be exact.

My behavior can hardly be called “ritualistic” but it leans that way during pro football season. I like to get up, late, on Sundays and watch a little Howard Kurtz Reliable Sources before watching the Fox NFL Sunday. I know, it’s hard to believe but I do watch Fox products even though I loathe Fox News. The CBS pre-game show just doesn’t have the “talent” of its opposite. Of course, I watch the CBS game itself when Houston plays as they did yesterday.

I hate, in a sense, when expectations are high for my team and there are a Dickens of great expectations for the Texans for the season. What do you think? Trite? Trite on a stick? Some think Houston will be in the Super Bowl this year. They pounded Miami yesterday like a 90-pound sh*t hammer for the last three quarters. But the Texans won’t go anywhere if they played like they did in the first quarter. It is trite on a bucket truck, but Houston needs to play four quarters of football to get anywhere.

The Houston offense still needs — something, I don’t know what it is, whether it’s a line issue or bad mojo. The Texans still needs to make touchdowns when they are in the red zone. When they get down the road they will need more than a however good foot that they have in kicker Shayne Graham. He missed his first field goal attempt, a 52-yard boot that fell short. I don’t know what his longest is but I know such an attempt is not out of his range. I couldn’t kick the ball through the posts from the goal line but guys can these days and about fifty-five yard farther. Eventually, the 63-yard field goal records will be broken. Sunday San Francisco kicker David Akers became the fourth player to reach the 63-yard FG mark set first by Tom Dempsey more than 40 years ago. The record was tied in 1998 and last year.

Once the Texans offense got rolling it looked pretty good. It was great to see the magnificent receiver Andre Johnson make long plays and a touchdown where it looked afterwards as if he might be congratulated to death by the fans when he jumped up in the end zone stands. Arian Foster has turned Vegan but that cat can still run as can Ben Tate. Shaub looked good at QB.

If Houston makes it past the first rounds in the playoffs, which they failed to do last year, it will be in no small part due to offensive defensive coordinator Wade Phillips. The smartest move head coach Gary Kubiak ever made was hiring Phillips. Wade — I don’t know him but he’s from my part of the state so I feel I can call him by his first name — wants to have a championship team of his own as head coach. It eluded him in Dallas, badly. Methinks Kubiak needs to have him restrained so he won’t get away. No, of course I am not being serious. But Phillips is a brilliant defensive mind.

The Texans came away with a 30-10 win over the Dolphins this first game of the season. Now they only have the rest of the season to live up to what others expect of them. It isn’t enviable but its nice to be recognized as long as the team doesn’t live up to others’ expectations.