Doc Carson, lies, and totes a loaf of bread while he walks like an Egyptian

This week has been the one week of the presidential “silly season” that I have come to enjoy and find fascinating.

I am talking about the “Lying Dr. Carson.” I could call it something like “Lying-Gate” or “Carson-gate” or even “Doctor-gate.” But isn’t the whole “Watergate” use to describe scandals way, way dated?

Veracity x Veracity = Veracity²
Veracity x Veracity = Veracity²

The Watergate Hotel in Washington, D.C. — developed by an Italian firm — opened in 1965. The hotel was certainly meant as “the” place for anybody who is anybody. In the District that would mainly mean pols or high-powered lobbyists. And why wouldn’t it? Vatican money was used to build the hotel, with its view of the Potomac River, and its architect had been a favorite of the infamous strong-man Benito “Il Duce” Mussolini.

But it was Watergate as a “third-rate burglary” that made the hip 60s hotel immortal. That heist took place in 1972. And though it seemed back then that the American tragedy played out for ever and ever, it climaxed some two years and one month later, when President Tricky Dick Nixon raised his hands as his bye-bye with a “V” sign on each hand, for victory. I am not sure if anyone has developed a solid theory in what victory Nixon believed he had fomented. In reality, the president had essentially saved the nation from the spectacle of Nixon as the first president to be jailed. Vic-to-ry!

So, Watergate became a starting point more than 40 years ago as a partial synonym for scandals that were developed and used with no real objections by lazy journalists everywhere.

Holy crap!

Therefore, with a little — though necessary — social history we come up with a presidential scandal even though the person involved is only a candidate for the GOP nomination for president. As to whether the whole dust-up about Dr. Ben Carson is officially a scandal, we will have to see how this plays out.

We have, so far, learned that the acclaimed Dr. Carson, who separated conjoined twin babies, is apparently fudging on his claims of being a young tough in Detroit. And the good doctor also wasn’t telling the truth, or perhaps just flat out lied, about having been offered a “full ride” scholarship to West Point.

But there is more and it doesn’t particularly have any bearing on his veracity.

Carson, a Seventh-Day Adventist, has expressed beliefs that are not only anti-science but as well, lack any common sense. Exhibit A is that Dr. Carson believes that the Egyptian pyramids were built to store grain, a belief he allegedly developed from the Book of Genesis. No matter that the pyramids weren’t hollow and thus would not be an optimal granary.

So does this mean that the Bangles need to revamp their 80s hit music video for “Walk Like An Egyptian?” If you’re old enough to remember:

“Slide your feet up the street bend your back
Shift your arm then you pull it back … “

Oh well, just watch the damned video.

Perhaps one should walk like an Egyptian with one hand up and thrust forward while the other carries a loaf of bread. No?

One would think a pediatric neurosurgeon would be a man of science. Maybe Carson comes from the Gump School of Medicine: Science is as science does.

As an old high school friend used to say: “That fellow is as odd as a flying snake.”

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