Don't shoot! I'm not a lawyer!


Oh my. It is just almost too easy what Vice President Dick Cheney handed those of us who like to skewer the powerful, political and the politically powerful.

If you were in a coma yesterday or today, you might not know that Cheney accidentally shot a 78-year-old Austin lawyer friend on a ranch in South Texas while they were hunting quail. This is, of course, not funny. The lawyer reportedly spent some time in ICU in a Corpus Christi hospital after being pelleted by birdshot from the shotgun fired by the man who is just a heartbeat away from the presidency.

But even if you have no sense of humor, or whimsy, or irony whatsoever you just have to say: “Whoa. Dude!”

First, consider that both Democrats and some Republicans have begun asking questions about the vice president’s role in the CIA leak scandal. This comes in light of revelations that Cheney’s indicted, former chief of staff Scooter “Dooter” Libby has indicated he was told by superiors to leak information to reporters to bolster the case for the Iraq war. Some politicians are now saying the special prosecutor in the case needs to question Cheney (Libby’s superior). Of course, I think the VP being questioned is not likely, especially in light of these events in Texas. I mean, he’s already shot one lawyer …

Also, there is this six degrees of separation element at work here. The lawyer Cheney shot, Harry Whittington, was an ally of President Bush when the latter man was governor. President George W. Bush picked Dick Cheney to be his vice president. President George Herbert Walker Bush chose Dan Quayle as his vice president. Both George W. and George Herbert Walker Bush are Texas residents. Cheney shot the president’s lawyer friend in Texas. Both Cheney and his friend were hunting quail, which is a homophone of the name of the elder Bush’s vice president.

Coincidence? I think not.

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