Fun fact. Watch me ramble. Learn my likes and dislikes. Shoot me out of a cannon into outer space!

¿Le voten por mí, por favor?  Please? Pretty please, with azúcar  on top?

El Presidente and the Guv’nor are courting the Latino as if their lives depended on it. Well, I suppose their political lives depend on it. Not so much heard today about the House panel vote just yesterday on a contempt of Congress charge for Attorney Gen. Eric Holder. “You’re up one day and then you’re down,” as that great Americana poet songster John Prine says. Something the GOPers seem to be finding out on a regular basis. Dems too.

But it is true. That isn’t even my point although I think Rachel Maddow did a spectacular job last night showing the craziness of the right and pretty much the Republican mainstream in office. Apparently the right has been playing this “Fast and Furious” thing up as a big Obama conspiracy to take away the citizenry’s guns. That’s right! Sell guns illegally to take everybody’s .22, .410, Glock and bazooka away. It is amazingly … lame. I am a firm believer in the public’s right to have a gun. I, have, well, had one. I hocked it to a friend and I hope he still has it. It’s a Remington .870 pump shotgun.

Nevertheless, I am at the point where I think Wayne LaPierre and the rest of the NRA leadership are insane. I mean just totally batsroom crazy! Guns don’t kill people, lobbyists kill people!

Actually, I was going to satirize those little “Bio Boxes” that have been so popularly used by newspapers over the past decade or so. Perhaps more than that. I saw this one from the Associated Press on the Washington Post Website about Rob Portman. He is the Ohio Republican senator who is supposedly on the “short list” as a Romney veep pick. I only know a little about him and the bio box referenced really doesn’t do a super job in telling me who the wannabe Romney-Portman ticket No. 2 really is.

I once worked at a small newspaper where we did something similar to a bio box. Monday being a slow news day, especially at what was then an afternoon paper, we shined the spotlight on someone in our fair town worth noting while filling up a big ol’ news hole to boot. We asked questions like what books were they reading, their favorite TV show and the like. We also asked the question if you had a dream dinner, who were four people would you invite and what would you have to eat? That question always struck me as particularly funny for some reason even though I don’t think most people would find it unreasonable to ask.

Since I used to crack jokes about the four people and dinner, a colleague asked me the question “who were four I would invite” for a very flattering column she wrote about me upon my departure at the paper. My answer to the question about the four I would invite was “Myself and a three-way mirror.” Well, she didn’t ask who were the four people  I would invite.  I guess you had to be there. Anyway, it was sweet what Beth wrote about me and I’ll always appreciate it.

And now without further a do-do, here is my bio box just so you all will get to know me better. Hahahahaha!

NAME: Puddintain. Just kidding, Eight Feet Deep.

AGE: 56, in dog years.

PLACE OF BIRTH: In a hospital, in a galaxy far, far away.

EDUCATION: B.A., Stephen F. Austin State University. Home of “Surfin’ Steve.”

EXPERIENCE: Yes, I am experienced. I also have been experienced. I have experience too.

ON THE NIGHTSTAND: A CPAP mask for my sleep apnea. A secure hotline to the Kremlin.

RECENT MOVIES I’VE SEEN: “Fort Apache.” I stayed up way too late one night last week watching this on TCM.

MUSIC: Dude! Americana-Country: John Prine, Willie Nelson, Jerry Jeff Walker, Hank Williams Sr., Dr. Hook, Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys, Emmylou Harris, Norah Jones. Rock: Rolling Stones, ZZ Top, Allman Brothers, Led Zepplin, Cracker, Coldplay; Blues-Soul: Freddy King, Chuck Willis, Sam and Dave, Al Green, Taj Mahal. Swamp Pop-Zydeco-Cajun, The Boogie Kings, Jivin’ Gene,  Jerry LaCroix,  Wayne Toups, Marcia Ball and on and on and freakin’ on.

HOBBIES: Hiking, until I developed back problems and now can’t walk for more than 10 minutes. Biking. I need to fix my flat. Camping. Building ships in a bottle that are able to blast their way out and kick some seafaring ass! Just kidding.

FUN FACT: One time, at a party at my house when I was in college, we once burned my couch on a bonfire. But that was not before we spent all day shooting it with all manner of guns. Each time we would shoot, we would yell: “This is what you get for f***ing my wife!” We, thus, learned that if you were having an affair, don’t ever hide behind the couch!


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