Government blames 110-year-old Mexican woman

White House and FEMA officials on Wednesday blamed 110-year-old Magdelena Martinez of Crystal City, Texas, for the slow response by the federal government in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina on the Gulf Coast. A high-placed source said that Deputy White House assistant Karl Rove pointed the finger at Martinez, seen sweeping in this Depression-era photo by renown photographer Russell Lee, after pouring through Library of Congress pictures.

Martinez, a Mexican national at the time of the 1930s photograph, had apparently not swept sufficiently in her home in the Rio Grande Valley of Texas. Rove told the source that during a recent hunting trip to the very spot where Martinez once lived, the president slipped on some refuse missed by the Mexican woman in her cleaning more than 70 years ago when the photo was taken. This caused the president to slip and fall on his head. Though information was never released to the press or the public, Bush suffered a concussion. Along with other learning disabilities, the president now has periodic lapses where he forgets certain tasks. In the case of Hurricane Katrina, Rove told the source, Bush forgot to tell Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff that a hurricane was headed for Mississippi and New Orleans.

Chertoff, in fact, thought the president had relapsed from his alcohol-free regimen and believed Bush actually wanted a hurricane to drink from New Orleans. Chertoff went off in search of a hurricane in bars around Washington, DC, rather than fly to New Orleans. When he returned to the White House, he found Bush still wasn’t drinking alcohol although presdient said he wished he could since a Category 4 hurricane had hit the coast and secondary flooding was taking place in New Orleans.

Rove is looking at ways the government may have Ms. Martinez shot by a firing squad. The source said, however, that she would first get due process after extensive discussions by pundits on Fox News talk shows including “The O’Reilly Factor” and “Hannity and Colmes.”

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