Gay, Nazi, Wiccan, Vegan, Commie, wife beater, child molester, Democrat, liberal. If it turns out John Roberts fits in one of those categories, he probably won’t be confirmed by the U.S. Senate as chief justice of the Supreme Court. But even though he’ll probably get roughed up a bit by the more liberal Democrats, Roberts could be the CJ for the next 30-or-so years provided he lives that long and democracy lives that long.
Now GW has to come up with a replacement for Sandra Day O’Connor, whom Roberts was originally supposed to replace before CJ William Rehnquist died and left the chief’s job open.
Since our leaders in the White House and Congress seem to be living in a fantasy land, perhaps GW should pick a TV judge for his next hire on the Supremes. So who would be the best?
Judge Judy? No she would probably get in fist fights with Scalia and Thomas every day.
Judge Joe Brown? Hmm.
Judge Larry Joe of “Texas Justice?” He would certainly represent the good ol’ boys on the nation’s highest court.
Judge Hatchett? A stern black woman. That would be a smart choice for the Bushites.
Judge Amy Gray of “Judging Amy?” Yeah, and make sure Alan Dershowitz gets the pick after that.
Judge Amanda Anderlee (Candice Bergen) of “Law and Order: Trial By Jury?” Ditto for what I said about Judging Amy.
Judge Mathis? I don’t have a clue about him other than he is another black TV judge. (At least blacks seem well-represented in daytime TV court shows. Real life court? I’ll not get into that.)
Judge Marilyn Milian of “The People’s Court?” Nah. She couldn’t carry Judge Wapner’s law books.
Judge Wapner? Is he still alive? Even if he is, he would be disqualified because they only allow one Jewish person at a time on the Supreme Court.
Judge Mills Lane? Is he still in syndication? I would vote for him because he shaves his head and would uphold juris baldis.
Judge Harry Stone of “Night Court?” He is really my pick because he is goofy and performs magic tricks. He also got a vasectomy from an Austin urologist named Dr. Richard Chopp. That’s wisdom my friends.