What if there was a press conference and nobody came? Well, if you are a bright bulb at the Federal Emergency Management Agency then you get your own employees to play the part of reporters. Hey, the show must go on.
That is exactly what FEMA did last week after no reporters showed up for a hastily-called news conference regarding the California wildfires. In the wake of FEMA’s bad publicity over the Hurricane Katrina debacle and “Heck of a job Brownie,” the Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff has said that he will eat his hat or slap someone’s wrist or “get really angry.” Perhaps he won’t blow a fuse because the old chap already looks like death sucking on a Lifesaver.
John “Pat” Philbin, the FEMA public relations head, appears to be in limbo for his part in the fake news conference. He was to have become the media relations director for the Director of National Intelligence but apparently they are now giving second thought to having someone with so little intelligence being the spokesperson for the head of intelligence in this country. Also, I tried to follow a link on FEMA’s Web site where Philbin’s bio once existed but that page no longer exists. Aha, perhaps he is sleeping with the fishes one might wonder? Or maybe he is going to be part of the Bush brain trust at the White House. Lots of options for so much talent.