Hideous political thoughts

For no reason other than sheer insanity, I briefly contemplated the other day running for political office. My county, Jefferson County, Texas, is one of a dwindling number of counties in the state that continues to elect an inspector of hides and animals. I thought about mounting a campaign to run for that office as an independent in November. Why? It’s not because the incumbent is doing a bad job. Actually, he doesn’t do anything. The job has no duties. In bygone years a hide inspector would inspect hides and other animals. But that is no more.

The incumbent is a fellow named J.T. “Corky” Wheeler. I read a story about him saying that he ran for the office to help preserve some of the state’s heritage. I feel like that is about as good a reason to run for office as anything. Some who have sought this office in other counties actually campaigned to abolish the office. I don’t know that the office is costing taxpayers anything. Wheeler doesn’t get paid and had to pay $50 out of his own pocket to get on the ballot. I think I read the other day where he got somewhere around 19,000 votes in the Democratic primary. Not bad for a fellow who has no duties and no real record.

I guess the question for me as a potential candidate would be: Could I do even less than Wheeler if I somehow was elected? It’s tempting to say that I could. After all, I once was elected “Laziest” boy in my high school. It’s the only high school election that I won and I really didn’t run for it. I don’t really see either how infusing new blood into an archaic position would make any sense. I certainly have nothing against Wheeler. As I said, I think his motivation for being elected makes about as much sense or even more than many candidates for office. I think he’s been a pretty damned good inspector of hides.

So the bottom line is that I decided not to run. It might have been fun. Although, I think I would really would have faced an uphill battle running against someone for an office which doesn’t have any real duties. I shall not seek the office. But I will never say never. I think I can hold my own with the rest of them when it comes to doing nothing.

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