This is Yao Ming’s shoe. This is Yao Ming’s shoe on drugs. Any questions? Most likely. No this supposedly is a picture of a size 18 shoe belonging to 7-foot 5-inch Houston Rockets center Yao Ming. I retrieved this picture, taken by someone calling himself iMorpheus, from Flikr. The other shoe supposedly belongs to iMorpheus. Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn’t. I don’t care. I am only using the photo to help illustrate my topic, which is Asian feet. I chose to discuss this sensitive matter after seeing this ad on Los Angeles craigslist:
“Asian Foot Models
Successful website is casting beautiful asian models for international appeal. Shoots consist of outdoor and indoor locations with multiple types of shoes, polish and wardrobe. No nudity! We are in competition with sites from Japan and Korea and plan to put them on their heels. (pun) If you like to make money, have sexy feet and love teasing the camera. This is the opportunity for you. Flexible scheduling. Job location is Los Angeles. Compensation: $40-$50.”
Okay, the first thing that jumps out at me is this has got to be about something other than feet. (And you know that we here at ‘eight feet deep’ take feet seriously!) I ran a very futile search on the Web trying to find anything enlightening relating to why Asian feet are more desirable than say, European feet.
My first search took me straight to porno sites. One had this dead end message that “You are now under investigation.” It gives your IP address, the provider and type of system you are using. Big deal. StatCounter gives me the same information about who is looking at my blog. Naturally, this notice linked you to something “to stop this investigation quickly — and try to stop them from targeting you.” All for the low, low price of … who cares. I’m not buying. Those people who put such crap up to scare you into buying their product ought to be Mussolinied.
Next I was directed in my “Asian feet” search to a recipe for payay, which allegedly is a Pakistani cow feet dish. Funny, I didn’t know a cow had feet. It sounds like it would be really good — it has many of the spices I like such as chili powder, green chilies, coriander and ginger — except for the small detail of having what I can only imagine is literally beef on the hoof.
I then hit the rabbit trail on the Chinese practice of foot binding, thinking that it might help provide me the wisdom I needed in determining why someone in LA wanted beautiful Asian feet. I read a short history taken from a University of California San Francisco study which said that foot biding began in “the Sung dynasty (960-976)reportedly to imitate an imperial concubine who was required to dance with her feet bound.” It was a very severe and cruel practice that even today leave elderly Chinese women with disabilities due to deformed feet. It makes my feet hurt just thinking about it.
So I didn’t really come away from this search about Asian feet any wiser than when I started. Oh I suppose I can now say in casual conversation that I know what size Yao Ming’s feet are, or that I know how to make payay. Maybe I can start a Pakistani restaurant like Babu Bhatt on “Seinfeld.” But, pretty much I just spent about an hour of my life that I won’t get back looking for something that leaves more confused than when I started.
Oh, the title? Yes, it’s a play on words from Traffic’s “Low Spark of A High-Heeled Boy.” It reminds me, for some reason, of my friend Robin whom I’ve not heard from in about 20 years. I think she had nice feet, the best that I can remember.
Note: I keep forgetting that not everyone watches or did watch “Seinfeld.” Babu Bhatt was a character who kept getting screwed by Jerry’s good intentions. Jerry suggested Babu change his diner into a Pakistani restaurant. It was a dismal failure. Jerry got Babu a place to live in his apartment. Babu then gets hauled away by immigration authorities. Jerry discovers Babu’s visa application was put in his mailbox by mistake. Trust me. The episodes with Babu are funny.