I can’t drive 65

If you find yourself on a Texas highway this evening, the night of Sept. 1, 2011, or afterwards, feel free to drive 70 mph if you see one of those signs which indicate a day speed of 70 mph and 65 mph at night.

Well, hell, you would do that anyway. People tend to drive at least 5 mph over the speed limit, and then some. So go ahead and drive 70, or 75. That is because tonight the official posted speed of 65 mph is a relic of the conservation past.

Our Texas Legislature, in their infinite wisdom (that’s a joke, son!), passed a law during the last regular session that:

”  … eliminates the 65-mile per hour nighttime speed limit and all truck speed limits,” says the Texas Department of Transportation, a.k.a. TxDOT (pronounced th hi’-way de-part-ment Tex-dot.) “On September 1, the existing nighttime and truck speed limits are repealed and no longer enforceable.”

That doesn’t mean you should get all indignant and up into the face of a big ol’ cop named “Billy Bob ‘Bubba’ Hayseed.” Says our local PR flak for the Beaumont district of TxDOT:

“I wouldn’t take my chances with someone just itching to write you a ticket for the sake of giving you a hard time,” said Marc Shepherd, TxDOT public information officer. “Of course, most, if not all law enforcement agencies know about the new law and the fact a ticket probably wouldn’t stick.  I’ll leave that up to you, your lawyer and the judge.”

That same law also allows the state to create a 75-mph speed limit provided the highway has undergone a study and is ruled “reasonable and safe.” This is not supposed to happen over night either. But once again, since most motorists driving 70 mph already drive 75 anyway it just cuts down the quasi-legality of an 80-mph speed limit on that highway.

I am not an attorney, nor do I play one on TV, so the information I present herein should not be considered legal advice nor a suggestion that the reader should break the traffic laws of this or any other state, territorial, federal, local or international government, nor any principality ruled by a monarch named “Marvin the Prince of Sales.”

Speed limits have gone all over the place since I started legally driving almost 40 years ago. The maximum day-time speed was 70 mph in Texas when I first received my driver’s license.  Then about three years or so later, just about the time I was of the age of being in a hurry to get somewhere, the national speed limit was changed to 55 mph. This was done in order to conserve gasoline but it did little good because the majority of the public — more than 80 percent of Texas drivers on interstate highways in one state highway department survey — drove faster than 55.

Frustration over such a slow speed eventually reached the boiling point and prompted rocker Sammy Hagar to record his hit “I Can’t Drive 55” in 1984.

Then sometime while I was sleeping, around 1995, the 55 mph speed limit was repealed. Once again speed limits including those in Texas increased and drivers could legally drive like a bat out of hell once more.

It was probably just before the speeds were increased from the lunatic 55 mph limit since I last drove out to West Texas. I can’t remember what the speed limit was then to tell you the truth. But now, in some of the desolate counties on Interstate 10 between El Paso and San Antonio, one may drive Mach 1 80 mph.

I am sure some folks, maybe some of those who believe we should have little or no government, would be happy with no speed limit. We could motor around in a “survival of the fastest” mode. I don’t like that idea very much though. It is kind of exhilarating to drive a car at speeds of more than 100 mph, even more than 135 mph. I think that is my fastest and it was while driving a car with a police interceptor package. But I have a comfort zone and, depending on the highway and the circumstances, it’s usually less than 75 mph.

Yes, I have finally become one of those “old coots” who drive slowly and impede the progress of drivers behind me. That’s all the while I am driving 75, which — for the time being at least until the studies are completed — is 5 mph over the speed limit. So just lead, follow or get the hell out of my way!