Intriguing news and the rest of the deep, deep beat

Some intriguing news has hit the electricical messaging system. When I opened my eightfeetdeep e-mail box, I received a message from one Salim Barywani whose email appears to have originated from a western county in Sweden called Västra Götalands län. His or her or its email may have come from there or could have bounced from somewhere else to there to many places in between before it came here. In here, I mean, Beaumont, Texas. For those of you too freaking lazy to move a few fingers, Beaumont is a city of about 118,000 located about 80 miles east of Houston (the fourth largest U.S. city,) about 45 miles north of the Gulf of Mexico, some 27 miles west of the Sabine River and Louisiana-Texas border, and just for s**ts and giggles, is 5,063 miles southwest of Vastra Gotalands Lan, Sweden.

More importantly is what was contained in the message from one Salim Barywani:

 “You have won One million pounds from Abu Dhabi, Manchester City promotion 2013.”

Talk about breath-taking. Just one question, mate! I have won “One million pounds” of what? I won 1 million pounds in U.K. currency £1 million? Or perhaps I won One million pounds of Cheerios. Maybe I won One million pounds of Boudreaux’s Butt Paste. More than likely, I won 1 million pounds of s**t. Then again, you never know.

The Abu Dhabi, Manchester City reference is even more baffling. The best I can tell from reading is this refers to the Manchester City FC, an English soccer team, owned by some Abu Dhabi businessmen, which has teamed up with the New York Yankees to buy a new Major League Soccer Team for the Big Apple. Ah yes, I can see myself hanging out with A-Rod, watching a little futbo, engaging in knife and bottle fighting, and having a little ongoing contest amongst Alex and I to see who can drop tens of pounds (of flab.)

“You are one of six lucky winner,” said the online missive.

I am one of something or other.

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And to hit the ol’ roundup, no one won the big Friday contest.  Your loss. It was a disguised former Vice President Dick “The Head” Cheney. The closest to the right answer was “Love Child of Sen. Fred Thompson and Kelsey Grammer.” That brilliant but incorrect answer was sent by Leon Trotsky, of Dime Box, Texas, who said: “That isn’t my real name but I’ve got a case of the trots today. Got it?”

Ay yi yi!