King George Costanza?

“Why George Alexander Louis?” rhetorically questions a BBC website headline as to why the Royal Baby was given the name by the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

Yes damn it! Indeed! Why the #@$& did Willie and Kate saddle the newest future King of England with a trio of dull past names guaranteed to make even the Queen yawn herself into a coma? King George VII, or King George the 7th for all of you Roman numerically-challenged nitwits, harkens back to an older time. So old in fact that it happened to be the time the sixth version of King George saw the death knell of the British Empire.

One can only be happy for the Royal couple and their “lit’el bundel o’ joy.” Even though Kate looked as if she was about seven months into another bout of pregnancy when she and good (future) King William came out to show everyone in the world that they indeed had a cute lit’el bugger and not the spawn of “Paw-Paw Charles.” Those “magnificent” Spencer genes one must imagine.

Nonetheless, George? George Costanza, the “Lord of the Idiots” perhaps. Ah, but Costanza “Can’t Stand Ya” is recognizably a secret genius between major idiocy making perhaps one of the best television character in history. Costanza was played by the stocky character actor Jason Alexander which makes one wonder if the modern Royals were secret fans of Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer.

How about just “Prince?” I speak of Prince Rogers Nelson, the uber-talented yet somewhat icky rock and R & B virtuoso whose 80s hit “1999,” seemed like a good idea until the real ’99 and on into 2000 happened. Then the guy decided to change his name to an unpronounceable symbol that led to his being dubbed “The Artist Formerly Known As Prince.” Suddenly, everyone was “The Something or Other Known As Something.” That was pretty cool. Still is.

Louis? Louis Armstrong was cool. Played an awesome trumpet doing that “St. Louis Blues.” Of course, I must remember the couple are Brits and not 20-21st century Americans.

George is a splendid name although some might see it as a bit dated. I know a number of Georges though, many good, like my first cousin, and others, well, who knows.

Here is good luck to the new lit’le bundle. Good health and prosperity to Will, Kate and young George. Hope fer good times ahead and weather the bad. What’s in a name anyway? Right now, little Royal George looks like a miniature version of George the Costanza. Hopefully, the little king-to-be stands to grow out of that look. Of course, one must remember his Spencer blood ran through Sir Winston Churchill. Sir Winnie was no doubt, a very admirable Brit, though a bit Costanza-appearing himself.