As I was in the paper aisle at Kroger earlier this fellow was insistent on what a good deal he found on his TP:
“But this, this is a good buy. I came down the aisle that had all those products for incompetence and alla sudden, I see this s**t paper and I say: ‘Woooo. Lookie here.’ I saw an ad for this on telliebision but I couldn’t make hair nor head of it because I wadn’t getting good conception. I see this guy with the mostache and glass who I nunerstan’ ain’t no here no more. I think his name was Mr. Hippo. He was allas talkin’ bout how no one should squiz the Charman. But this is the bes’ deal I seen today. I mean, I can get me four of these rolls for $3.24 and with using a square each, well, well, I ain’t gonna lie to you. I gonna use more than a square but it still come out good. I mean the deal. You know whatta I mean. But … “
Just then, I stepped out of the bright tunnel lights and saw myself from the gurney with all the medical professionals standing around me. “Congratulations, sir, you are alive once more,” one doctor said.
And I said: “AAAiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!”