Here it is 1 April and I haven’t got a fool anywhere. Well, that’s a fool itself because plenty of fools exist around me and sometimes I think I am the biggest fool of all.
Practical jokes, as opposed to impractical jokes, have never really been my forte. Oh I can write funny lines, at times. I can tell funny jokes, although I confess to having a terrible memory for anything but absolutely nasty jokes that you wouldn’t want to tell just anyone.
But the type of joke that raises to the occasion of the great “April Fools!” Uh-uh.
“Hey,” my mother said. “Wake up. You don’t have to go to school today.”
“Huh?”
“April Fool!’ Momma said.
My parents were great April Fool pranksters. Their jokes were not the grand but the ones just close enough to reality to turn into a classic fool-tommery. Something, like tom-foolery. Already.
What kind of April Fool joke would this news be: The revelation that North Korea has Austin, Texas, in its nuclear sites? I mean, Austin can be a rather pretentious city at times, you know, hipper-than-thou? The traffic probably could use an explosion to blow it up and start all over again. Kids, don’t try this at home. Or in Austin.
I don’t need that ol’ “Keep Austin Weird” jive. Believe me, I’ve been to much weirder places than Austin.
Austin is a lovely town with its roller-coaster streets. The old “Pink Dome” of the State Capitol stands out for the world to see driving south on I-35, even with Darrel K. Royal and God-knows-who-else Memorial Stadium almost blocking the seat of state government out. Then there is Barton Springs Pool with its “just-right” temperatures year-round and nekkid bodies here and there.
I mean, that isn’t even a good April Fool joke, what the idiots running the communist North Korea government have suggested. It’s sick.
See what I am talking about. I never could do an April Fool’s prank for all the non-existent food in North Korea.
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