The great big circus jerk that was not quite The Donald Campaign 2012 ended today as yet another TV host said they would rather be the boob on the boob tube.
Donald Trump told nervous TV and advertising executives today he would not run for president. They were nervous because they drank too much Starbucks. Trump will stay on his so-called “reality” television show “What’s It’s Name.” Really, “Celebrity A**hole” or something like that.
Trump comes out claiming he made the world safer from the Mau Mau hordes by demanding Barack Obama show his full birth certificate. In reality reality, the President made Trump disappear after ordering that Osama bin Laden be terminally terminated. Yeah, I know, Obama didn’t do it all on his own. Hillary helped — as did joint chiefs chairman Adm. Mike Mullen, defense secretary Robert Gates, Seal Team 6 and everyone’s mothers.
The hairball that would be president, at least in his mind, joins former Arkansas Gov. and Fox News pundit Mike Huckabee in pulling out from the Republican nomination race. Let’s see, who is left without a television show?
It is somewhat difficult to rejoice at the fact that Trump is gone. He could have made Obama look like Lyndon Johnson in his 1964 defeat of Barry Goldwater. That is, LBJ minus the drawl, the beagles, a nice but rather homely wife and oh yes, the skin thing. I know the media is in deep mourning because their lives would be on Easy Street with Trump running.
Huckabee is a lot different case. He was a somewhat attractive candidate in 2008, that is until he had to sell out to his base like every other GOP candidate these days. What is it with Republicans anyway? Their best and brightest ultimately have to sell their soul to the most ugly elements of the right in order to be elected, even to dogcatcher.
It is enough to wonder “WWLD?” Translation: “What Would Lincoln Do?”