Now wait a darn minute!

Does waiting tick you off? It does me and I wish I had some survey that said something like “99 percent of all Americans between the ages of 16 and 60 say waiting makes them go berserk.” Wait. What am I talking about? I can just make up my own survey. Okay, here we go.

A survey by the Stinkenheimer Group of Americans between the age of 16 and 60 reported that waiting makes them berserk. The study goes on to say that if that person doesn’t hurry her ass up and wait on me I am going to throw a chair in her general direction. Not really.

I had in mind writing a little screed on some topic of the day, the war in Iraq perhaps. But I am here at the Rao’s bakery on Dowlen in Beaumont, where I had to wait for — and I am not making this up — 15 minutes for a glass of iced tea. I don’t like waiting in line. It’s one of the most unattractive facets of life I can think of behind perhaps getting a Foley catheter installed or having one removed. I’ll not expound on where that catheter might go, so if you don’t know just use your imagination.

Waiting for extremely long periods for little gain zaps the strength right out of me. In this particular case it also extinguished what little creativity I had left over for the day. I know that’s not a good excuse for not trying to be creative. But it is an excuse.

This wait that took away my will to write something with a little more thought than merely blowing off steam was not all the fault of the people here at Rao’s. It was partly their fault and partly the fault of those who can’t make up their minds what they want even after standing 10 minutes in line. It’s not that I begrudge them asking a question or two. But make up your damn mind already. Lead, follow or get out of the way. We’re … I … am not getting any younger.

Oh well, how about that war in Iraq? It’s something isn’t it?

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