Ohhhhhhh. So THIS is what news really is?

Hot off the wires from the Associated Press:

“NEW YORK – Does Vinnifer have the same ring to it as Brangelina? Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn were photographed kissing, possibly confirming that their relationship has grown romantic.”

So, was it serious tongue hockey? Was a hoofed animal involved? We’re they dancing around a fire in the middle of the street with throngs of Wiccan onlookers? Were they kissing Tom DeLay’s mugshot? Exactly where were they kissing? When did they kiss and when did they know about it? Was whipped cream involved? Were they kissing for Katrina relief? Were they kissing for the hell of it? Were they kissing so they could become subjects of a major AP story? What did it sound like when they kissed? If they kissed in the forest, would a tree fall on them? Did the kiss come from sharing a plate of spaghetti with no eating utensils? How did Jen’s breath smell? Did it smell like Listerine or Bud Light? Did Vince smell like Old Spice? Did Vince smell like New Orleans after Katrina? What will they name their children? Will they have a dog? Will they have a pet tiger named Adolf? Will they kiss the tiger? Will they kiss the dog? Will they kiss the children after playing serious tongue hockey with the dog and the tiger?

Ah, you see what I mean? So many questions. So, so, so, many questions.

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