Old Crappers Home

Old Toilet Haiku

In blistering heat
No fat ass sits upon you
Porcelain orphan.

A sad site it is to see one, much less six, cast-off toilets sitting by the curb. Why is it sad? I don’t know. It’s one of those situations that is hard to pin down.

When you think about it, toilets are normally pretty sturdy fixtures. Many can survive hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, big butts and so forth.

The flush toilet is really a marvel in itself. Toilets are fixtures of history, seating generation after generation of asses. It’s a good thing that toilets can’t talk. Oh the stories they could tell! Gross ones, I’m sure.

Some people in the world, perhaps some still in the U.S., do not have flush toilets. But I don’t expect to see Sally Struthers make a tearful plea for Third World children without toilets. Maybe she should though. Or maybe Jerry Lewis could have a telethon for “Crappers Without Borders.”

It’s just a thought.

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