Eight Feet Deep

Absent-mindedness can be most disconcerting when one finds himself or herself in the early portions of being middle aged. Thoughts of a dementia onset immediately surface and all of a sudden a person finds one more facet of life over which to wring their hands.

Yesterday I experienced one of those incidents where my head had less clarity for what the situation warranted. And the result had me concerned with just where I had left said head.

Inside a Wal-Mart, I walked into the men’s room while thinking about the tasks which were ahead of me once I was finished in the john. The fact that the room had no urinals seemed odd to me but other than that, I thought little of it.

Just after I shut the door of a stall, I heard the voice of one woman and then a second.

In a split second I thought that the first female voice was perhaps that of a janitor but I was certainly nonplussed by the second voice. Within the span of another second, it hit me. Yes, I was in the ladies’ room.

“Oh Lord, I’m in the wrong place,” I cried out, half terrified with the other half chuckling as I vacated the “powder room.”

Luckily this was amusing to the women, one of whom loudly proclaimed: “I won’t tell,” as I exited.

After finishing my bodily chore in the adjacent room, I could still hear those women cackling like hens. I’m glad they got a laugh at my expense.

It was funny though.

Well, here it is August on the upper Texas coast and still no hurricanes have struck (thankfully). As is the case along the middle Gulf Coast in the wake of Katrina, some people here haven’t fully recovered from Hurricane Rita which blew in almost two years ago. Drive around the area and you will still see FEMA trailers, although not as many nowadays. One might even see the blue tarps covering roofs that seemed to be everywhere after Rita.

Just today the Colorado State University hurricane prediction team including noted meteorologist Dr. William Gray, revised their forecast downward a bit.

Certainly I don’t want to go through another hurricane after Rita and I know most folks probably feel that way. But it would be just too freakish if no storms appear this season after last year’s deadly quiet hurricane period. A lack of hurricanes would surely upset the balance of nature somehow. But who knows with this global warming, which some people doggedly deny just as those who insisted the world is flat.

We’ll see what happens — from a safe distance I hope.

Republican Sen. Richard Lugar, R-Ind., tries to not be annoyed with Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., reading over his shoulder.

It appears the front-runners for the Democratic presidential nomination are playing “¿Quién es más macho?”

First it was Hillary (Blogger’s note: From here on out we will only use the name “Hillary” in referring to Mrs. Sen. Billary Clinton Von Steugel of Badenhoffen.)trying to prove that she really is a man. Then came Barack Obama declaring that he will rain bombs down on Karachi. What’s next? Will we see Dennis Kucinich
giving Bill Richardson a wedgie during the next debate?

Not to be outdone, the next “You Tube” debate will feature Republican hopefuls arm wrestling and holding best of seven tomahawk throwing contests. Stay tuned!

The Kroger across the street has these five balloons tethered high above the store and swaying in the wind. They are bright yellow balloons, hard to miss. Two thoughts cross my mind upon seeing them some 50-to-70 feet into the sky.

First, I wish I had a decent rifle because it would be great fun to pick them off even though it probably wouldn’t be any great feat of marksmanship.

My final thought is that if I had a rifle to shoot down the Kroger balloons I would want to have sufficient money to extract myself from jail after the deed is done.

What is one man’s fun is another’s misdemeanor.

It has been difficult for me to verify but CNN has reported today about a Web page which archives dead My Space members. I tried My Death Space but it didn’t connect. Perhaps it isn’t a hoax.

But one might ask, why would they want to read about dead My Space members? Actually, it’s perfectly understandable.

For years now I have read obituaries in the newspapers as well as having written a few in my time as a reporter. Obits, of course, gives notice of a person’s death as well as sometimes chronicling their lives. For some people it’s the only time their name is in the paper.

But obits also tell stories. These stories are of an indivdual’s accomplishments, their passions and other information which are a written testimonial of the person’s life. In newspapers they are definitely much read.

Once at a newspaper where I worked a fellow reporter accidentally listed the name of the man from the funeral home who was giving him information over the phone instead of the decedent’s. The next morning, this poor fellow (the funeral home guy) walked into church and the old ladies there all started screaming and crying seeing that the fellow was not dead. He had not read his own obit so the guy was understandably befuddled until he found out what had happen.

And if that isn’t bad enough, this same reporter was later an editor at another publication and he got the names of a fairly famous dead guy mixed up with a relatively famous country singer. The former co-worker who told me this said her friends were calling the erroneous editor “Serial Killer.” He really was a nice guy and tried hard but I guess one would say he had a little trouble with details.