Eight Feet Deep

Filmmaker Michael Moore grazes in CNN’s green room Monday before appearing on “The Situation Room.”

The powers that be will probably take away my left wing when I say this, but here it is: Michael Moore is an ass.

Moore’s brand of “gotcha” guerrilla humor was amusing in 1989 when he made the documentary “Roger and Me,” but his shtick has long since lost its allure to me at least.

I must admit to not watching his major films in recent times including “Fahrenheit 9/11” or his most recent “Sicko.” That is because he has become such a shrill, unrelenting propagandist for his causes that he is just as bad as the right wing’s own Assh**e A-Team which include the likes of Hannity, O’Reilly, Coulter, Malkin, etc.

Moore appeared on CNN’s “The Situation Room” yesterday and instead of shilling for his new documentary on American health care he attacked Wolf Blitzer and Dr. Sanjay Gupta for not spouting his “my way or the highway” ultra-liberal views of the Iraq war or health care. The wild-eyed Moore could not handle having his facts checked and challenged so he spent his time ranting like some lunatic.

Reiterating that I have not seen nor likely will not see “Sicko” I understand that his film tries to make a case that socialized medicine such as that practiced in Cuba or Canada is the best way out of America’s health care woes. When I was younger and enamored with the concepts of Marx and Lenin, I too thought a socialist approach to medicine was what this country needed to take care of its young, old and in between.

Now that my medical treatment, by necessity, is provided by the Department of Veterans Affairs, I see socialized medicine in action. And if the VA is a harbinger of what socialization would look like in this country, then I think a lot of people should consider living elsewhere. Perhaps the VA model would not be a national model but I feel that it would be a likely configuration because government leaders are not imaginative enough to try something that might be better. If that is so, God (Allah, Bert, fill in the blanks) help us.

Extremists on either side of the political spectrum such as Moore or Ann Coulter do nothing but muddy the waters of discourse. These shrill voices and others such as Rush Limburger are among the reasons why American society has become so toxic.

Under the First Amendment people have the right to be asses, if that’s what they want to be. Apparently, a lot of people we hear and see every day spouting their opinions freely exercise that right. Isn’t America great?

This is not me.

Rather, the picture is not of me but it could be. It could be if I were about 25 years younger and had hair and a facelift. Nonetheless, the he in the photo kind of represents the me who is sitting here typing this. This is because I am sitting here at the laptop after having to load everything under the sun it seems on my “new” computer.

This is not really a new computer. There is no way in hell I could afford a new computer unless I stole it, which is wrong and against the law. So I am in possession of a free IBM Think Pad, so generously given and shipped to me by my friend Bruce who truly knows a friend in need when he sees one. He is one of those few, kind souls in my life who have not given up on me (like someone whom I will not name and whom I doubt reads this page anymore) when I had a little setback in life. It is a magnificent gift though, Bruce, and many thanks.

My friend loaded the computer before he shipped it to me with Windows 2000, which I have the discs for in my desktop that is in storage and my now crapped out Armada. I realized that I still had software for Windows 2000 while looking in storage for other software. That is really neither here nor there. But I have a buttload of other upgrades and service packs and programs to load such as Adobe Reader, which told me I couldn’t load it until Service Pack 2 was loaded so I loaded Service Pack 2 and it told me I couldn’t load it until Service Pack 1 was loaded. Who knew?

But alas and alack, a little bit of hassle is a small price to pay when you paid nothing for the source of the hassle. If that makes sense.

Make no mistake, I am not griping. I am merely pointing out that owning even a used computer is not what the uninitiated — those who until the last couple of years never loaded any software onto anything — thinks about using computers. Why, you should be able to turn it on and everything works effortlessly and with warp speed. Ha! That is my little observation lacking any wisdom whatsoever, for today. Back to downloading service packs!

Just hanging out with my bros.

Who said they wouldn’t have Drew Nixon to kick around again? Oh that was Richard Nixon and since he’s dead I think he doesn’t have to worry about people kicking him around unless you believe in Hellfire Damnation and his orchestra.

Drew Nixon is an entirely different matter. A grand jury in Panola County, Texas, indicted the former state senator after he allegedly mislead two potential candidates for an election to a water supply district board. Nixon was both an accountant and election administrator for the district.

For those of you who might not know the otherwise obscure former Texas lawmaker, he is the same geeky guy that was busted in 1997 for offering an undercover officer in Austin $35 for oral sex. This is despite the fact that everyone knows the going rate is $50. No, just kidding about the latter.

Nixon’s indictment comes after an investigation by Texas’ wheelchair-bound Attorney General Greg “Ironsides” Abbott.

“Texas will not tolerate illegal acts that undermine the integrity of the electoral process,” said Abbott, in a press release. “Election officials have a duty to serve the public’s interest, not their own. Voters can rest assured the Office of the Attorney General is committed to strictly enforcing election laws.”

I’m certainly glad voters can rest assured about something, although resting assured that Abbott is committed to strictly enforcing election laws is not a matter of which I would normally rest assured, or assured-er. One may read the entire indictment and press release on Abbott’s Web page. One may also find on that Web page, Greg’s favorite movies and what is loaded on his iPod.

Nixon is certainly not dumb but he has made some very stupid mistakes over the course of his career as an accountant and elected official. It pains me the most not because he was or maybe still is a Republican, but for the fact that he graduated from my Alma Mater Stephen F. Austin State University in Nacogodches, Texas, Nicknamed Steve U. Home of the Lumberjacks and we’re OK. That is, except for Drew Nixon.

FYI, here is a Wikipedia article about Greg Abbott and the freak accident that left him wheelchair bound. It’s pretty weird.

It was announced yesterday that Gee Dubya commuted the sentence of former White House aide Scooter Libby. I read today that a complete pardon is possible for Libby, who served as chief of staff to Vice President Dick “Dick” Cheney.

All such actions fall under the purview of the awesome powers granted the president of the United States.

A lot of outrage exists among those who dislike or otherwise Bush and his band of hooligans. But that holy acrimony is less about Libby than it is the seemingly never-ending hypocrisy of the Bushites — including politicians, talk radio hosts and their wolfpack fans.

The fact that the right made such a big deal out of “the rule of law” when it came to the impeachment of Bill Clinton for what was in reality having oral in the White House makes it hard for many on the left to swallow (no pun intended)that the rule of law is being thwarted legally.

Oh and how the rightists raised holy hell when a departing Clinton pardoned Marc Rich, whose lawyer I might point out was none other than Scooter his ownself.

Nonetheless, the righties always claim to being on the side of God, even when the shoe is on another foot. And this administration and many of its supporters have raised hypocrisy to an art form.

Of course, hypocrisy is not illegal, thankfully for a lot of people on the left, right and in between. It is, however, annoying to the point of anger for a lot of folks who are predisposed to not liking someone or something in the first place.

Whether Scooter comes out of this clean as a whistle doesn’t really matter. It’s the hypocrisy stupid.

Happy Fourth of July Scooter and don’t blow your hand off with a cherry .